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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

4th baby

11 replies

Mammyof123 · 01/12/2025 19:34

Is this hormones talking?? A bit of background sorry its a bit long winded. I had my two children in my early 20s, I thought I was done having children and focused on my career, DD is aged 14, DS 11 they are both really good kids and have always been close and get along well most of the time.

Im now 36 and found out I was pregnant, my beautiful surprise DD is 4 weeks old. The thought of starting again filled me with dread and i could never imagine myself with a baby in my late 30s but we have all adjusted to having a newborn and we couldn't imagine life without her, we all adore her. I found this pregnancy significantly more difficult compared to when I was 21 or 24 years old and asked hubby to get the snip so we didn't risk another accident, he is now on the waiting list for this to be done.

Now that my baby is here, I can't imagine she is my last baby! I would now love a 4th baby close in age to her as I Feel she will be basically an only child in a few years. Is this hormones talking? Hubby thinks im mad! I did nothing but complain all pregnancy, we would need a bigger car if we had a 4th and lots of other things would be affected in our lives but I cant stop feeling this way. Has anyone else had a similar situation with two older children then starting again later in life?

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Kosenrufugirl · 01/12/2025 19:39

I think it would be reasonable for you to ask your husband to postpone his snip until the baby is about 1 year old at least.

There's no need to rush into a decision right now. If you decide to get pregnant by mutual agreement in let's say 2 years time, your oldest will be 17 by the time the 4th child arrives. This might change things and perspective.

Don't do anything drastic right now would be my suggestion

Mumofteenandtween · 01/12/2025 19:43

I often think that being the youngest by a long way would be the best family set up. As you get all the advantages of being an only child as a child and all the advantages of having siblings as an adult.

I’m not saying don’t have another baby. I’m just saying don’t have another baby for the sake of your little one.

Original poster
Mammyof123 · 01/12/2025 21:35

Kosenrufugirl · 01/12/2025 19:39

I think it would be reasonable for you to ask your husband to postpone his snip until the baby is about 1 year old at least.

There's no need to rush into a decision right now. If you decide to get pregnant by mutual agreement in let's say 2 years time, your oldest will be 17 by the time the 4th child arrives. This might change things and perspective.

Don't do anything drastic right now would be my suggestion

Thank you for the reply, I know this is the logical answer I think I just needed someone else to tell me that.

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BabyBorn · 01/12/2025 21:37

Hi. I did this. My eldest was 17 and my second child was 10 when we had a shock pregnancy age 36. Our youngest is 3 now and I am 18 weeks pregnant with baby number 4. The thought and feeling never left me too. We had 3 losses before this pregnancy. The whole situation is crazy when I look back to 4 years ago, not thinking we would be starting all over again. I wouldn’t change a thing if I am honest. Definitely wait until your baby is 12-18 months old if you do decide to try again. 1, because your body takes all this time to properly heal after a pregnancy and because it will give you more clarity to if you want to try for another! Good luck! X

Pearlmaster500 · 01/12/2025 21:38

Awww 🥰 I just had my 2nd as was adamant I wouldn’t want anymore after his birth! My older child is 8. He’s 4 months now and I can’t wait to have another one 😭 soo in love. Just wait and see how you feel in a year or so time 💕 no one has the right to tell you you can’t have any more children that’s entirely your decision any stage in life

Original poster
Mammyof123 · 01/12/2025 21:39

Mumofteenandtween · 01/12/2025 19:43

I often think that being the youngest by a long way would be the best family set up. As you get all the advantages of being an only child as a child and all the advantages of having siblings as an adult.

I’m not saying don’t have another baby. I’m just saying don’t have another baby for the sake of your little one.

Thanks for your rely, I've never thought of it that way! Definitely a different perspective to think about. 🤔

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Original poster
Mammyof123 · 01/12/2025 21:39

Mammyof123 · 01/12/2025 21:35

Thank you for the reply, I know this is the logical answer I think I just needed someone else to tell me that.

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Also, I think I'm just so taken back by feeling this way it's taken me by surprise.

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BabyBorn · 01/12/2025 21:41

Another thing to bear in mind is if you are breastfeeding your little one then it could definitely be the oxytocin talking!!! 😆😂 x

3girlsmama · 01/12/2025 21:46

I'd say it is hormones to be honest but you never know! Lots of parenting still to go in the teen years for your older two and I always think three is a lot of people to concern yourself with as is 😅I'd be inclined to focus on enjoying the baby stage with your youngest, congratulations.

Original poster
Mammyof123 · 01/12/2025 21:56

BabyBorn · 01/12/2025 21:37

Hi. I did this. My eldest was 17 and my second child was 10 when we had a shock pregnancy age 36. Our youngest is 3 now and I am 18 weeks pregnant with baby number 4. The thought and feeling never left me too. We had 3 losses before this pregnancy. The whole situation is crazy when I look back to 4 years ago, not thinking we would be starting all over again. I wouldn’t change a thing if I am honest. Definitely wait until your baby is 12-18 months old if you do decide to try again. 1, because your body takes all this time to properly heal after a pregnancy and because it will give you more clarity to if you want to try for another! Good luck! X

So glad someone else has been in a similar situation with the big age gaps and that it has worked out well for you with your rainbow baby, sorry for your losses, that must have been tough.

I think my next steps are to get hubby off the waiting list and get on some contraception for at least the next year.

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BabyBorn · 01/12/2025 22:07

Thank you!

It feels like our 3 year old was always here! Her sisters adore her. It does feel like she’s the only child sometimes as my eldest is at uni and my 13 year old is a typical teenager who doesn’t always want to spend a lot of time with mum and dad!! 😆 I am not expecting everything to be a bed of roses when this next little one comes along as I’ve never done the close age gap, so imagine it’s going to take some getting used to! My 3 year old is in full time nursery which she absolutely loves, so it’s already like she’s in school, doing school hours.

Congratulations on your little one and hope it all works out for you whatever path you decide to go up. X

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