Finding out the gender or not ?

[Mumtobemay2026]

For our first we had a suprise.

This time my husband will find out.

I'm undecided if I want to know or not.

I like the idea of the suprise but don't want to be disappointed if people guess wrong like they did the first time.

I know it's personal but I don't know what I should do

We only have the one child but as soon as I became pregnant, my husband wanted to know the gender! There was no way he was going to wait 9 months to find out!! 🤣🤣 I wasn't bothered either way. A previous neighbour of mine had a scan and was told she was having a girl - her and her husband bought girlie clothes, painted the nursery etc - only to have a boy!!! So a scan isn't always 100% accurate!!

How can people guess wrong and you be upset about it? So confused. There are only two options boy or girl and unless they are doing an ultrasound it’s literally just a 50/50 guess? Or am I missing something?

For what it’s worth, I’ve had two surprises and loved finding out on the day both times so I would say to wait.

For my first, I did have a preference for a girl. But with only finding out on the day I was so happy and relieved to have got through the birth that i really didn’t care at that point, it was just so lovely to have a baby.

Sex not gender…

I had my two ( now in their fifties) before scans were invented.We never knew until the actual birth and baby was safely out.
I once overheard a conversation on a bus when someone's pregnant daughter was going for a scan to ''see what she is getting''. I felt like saying that she was getting a baby that what she is getting.

It’s a surprise whether you find out at 16 weeks or 20 weeks or 40 weeks.

Also it’s never really that surprising is it.

Rather than looking at the surprise aspect, consider factors like preparing an older sibling, halving the angst of name choosing, buying cute outfits, future-planning bedrooms etc.

We’ve found out at birth (although sonographer slipped up then backtracked, so we suspected), 20 weeks, and 16 weeks. I genuinely didn’t mind whether it was a boy or girl any of the times, and also 2 of my births were so mental that the moment would have been ruined anyway.

Every time I’ve been told my baby’s sex, whether at birth or a scan, it’s just been a ‘huh! Cool OK. Glad they’re alive!’ 😅

I had a suprise with my first and loved it. However with my second I just wanted to know! I loved finding out the gender. I felt it added an extra occasion to the pregnancy. I would find out again.

Absolutely yes both times. My friend didn’t and needed a GA with a section. Woke up to find out all groggy and disorientated with lots of others having found out before her.

Private scan places tend to be really child friendly (ours has a toy kitchen and everything for toddlers!) so it’s quite a nice thing to take them to and have the room lit up in pink or blue for your eldest if they’re old enough to understand. It gets them a bit more used to the idea of a sibling I think if you’re calling them baby brother or sister.

Also from a practical pov, when you already have one baby I think it helps to know whether to get all their clothes back out of the loft or if you need to start shopping for some clothes for the opposite gender!

Finally my other reason for finding out is because I HATED people saying ‘oh are you trying/hoping for a girl?’ (If you already have a boy). So I prefer to shut that down by announcing at 16 weeks to family that they’re having another grandson 😅