help so scared pregnant with 3rd single mum

[MySunnyAquaZebra]

so backstory i have 2 children same father , shamefully i am now pregnant by this man again 😭 I no I should know better by this point but things happen and here I am. I always wished for a family but I have solely parented my children alone he pops up one in a year and disapears again . I have learnt one lesson and that’s he’s never going to be the man or father i hoped for .
anyway I am getting older now mid 30:s and I have always said I would love another child one day .he does not know i’m pregnant and I know he will not want the child. . I just feel absolutely petrified more scared then i did with my others ! I don’t have any family to support me i have a few friends but noone that could lend a helping hand and it petrifies me the thought of where my children are going to go while im in in labour with the 3rd this seems to be my biggest worry !! they are not used to being without me and I have no clue who would even help in that situation !! I don’t even no what I am asking for on this thread i just feel scared and anxious 😭😭😭

You’ve done it before and you can do it again girl. You’ve wanted a baby, you’ve solo parented anyway. So just treat it as the same. You actually don’t even have to tell him if you don’t want to. if you want another then go for it, if not you have options

You could find someone, I would see if there is a friendly neighbour. Ideally you want someone who can come to your house and you get a taxi to hospital.

otherwise just take them to hospital with you the hospital will have social workers there who can sort something out.

I feel for you OP. When I was expecting DD I actually typed it into Google ( how do people give birth and organise it all if they already have children?) as did not have anyone to call on and no overnight care. A long story but had very little help and active hostility from my other half and felt very alone. I scheduled a C section in the end just so I could plan ahead a bit. Many different ways to do things, but this was the right choice for me. So many people struggle on alone in this situation . In the end a kind local mum and I became friends as the birth approached. We were able to talk openly with one another and she became an incredible support to me. She supported me through and after the arrival of DD and helped with DS. I was able to help her too when she needed it and it was a privilege to support her .You sound strong and capable and the only advice I can give is that other women, mums will stand by you if you let people into your life. I just had to swallow my pride and accept help.

I could have wrote this myself! 6 year old and pregnant again with the same man. late 30s and no family support etc. I know how you feel it’s scary and constant am I going to cope feelings. No good advice but I’m here for a rant or message when ever 🤣

Just had my 4th baby 4 months ago, her dad cheated on me all throughout my pregnancy and after she was born. I got rid of him 👏🏻🥳 Wished I had done it when I was 6 months pregnant and caught him cheating but there we go. Anyways I am turning 33 this week and about to start a higher education diploma to hopefully get into uni. My kids are 15, 12, 7 and 4 months and I’ve raised them all alone tbh. I love the peace of being single. I’ll be going back to work soon as well too and that’s something else I’ll be figuring out alone with no childcare help. I’m not even thinking about the struggles ahead anymore, il just face them head on when they come. You can do this. Having a man isn’t everything especially when they bring drama, stress and problems. Just focus on yourself and your kids and the little life you’ve created for them/ all of you. I was sad that this was supposed to be the chance for me to have the loving family man during my pregnancy and after my daughter was born but it was just another shambles and honestly I am so over it and him now and can’t even stand the thought of a relationship or having another man leaching off me again and dragging me down x

I think this is a good thing. Kids have the same shit dad, no fuss about dealing with step dads and kids

You'll find a way to get through this, and dont worry about 9 months down the line. how old are the kids?

Congratulations xx

Do you work? Will you be able to financially afford another child? Will it impact your current DC’s lives detrimentally?

I don’t mean this horribly I promise, but I’m not sure the advice you’ve been given on this thread is very good.

Only you know if you really have the means to support another child, but just because we want a child, does not mean we should have one. It fulfills our own, selfish need, but what about the needs of the child? Children don’t ask to be born into this world.

Again, I don’t mean any of this horribly but I would only go through with this pregnancy if you can properly provide for the child in terms of finances and time.

This ^
if you can not provide for this child a good safe life, please reconsider your mistake.
i hope all goes well for you and your kids

I’m with @Iloveleaveinconditioner. You have other choices. I know what I would do tbh.

I don’t understand what the plan was before you conceived tbh. The man isn’t a stable father to your current children. Honestly it sounds like you are making your life and their life harder for no particular reason.

I genuinely don’t want to be unkind but you need to take charge of your own life and stop being passive, stuff doesn’t just happen to you, you are letting it. Think about how you are making decisions and try to be more intentional going forward.

All this. It isn’t fair to your other children if you’re going to be stretched to breaking point by this new baby. Also please get your contraception sorted.