Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Abandon early pregnancy for 2nd time/ do i abort?

17 replies

Missloulouxxx · 24/11/2025 11:14

Abandoned in Pregnancy 2nd abortion or keep?

I currently already have a 9 year old girl, we are very close as its always been just us, her father is in her life she goes every other weekend.

I have been seeing this guy on and off for last two years I fell pregnant last year and had a Termination, due to the fact him lying to me about alot of things and basically blocking me when he found out I was pregnant, Regretfully, I am in this position again after the abortion. He did not leave me alone and he was very sorry for what he did and basically Lured me back in loved, bomb me and lied to me again promising he would be there for me next time and all sorts he literally would not leave me alone I cut him off meny times, but his a Narcissist and a master manipulator and unfortunately I fell for it again, I don't know if he has some kind of Pregnancy fetish bcus he kept saying he wanted to get me pregnant again and that he loves me and I'm the one for him it's endless and the amount of times he reach out to me telling me this aswell during sex, we had unprotected sex last month and i am pregnant again he been round mine alot every weekend and in the week, his been around my daughter I've never had a man around me And my daughter and to be honest I felt quiet overwhelmed when he was, bcus I've always put my daughter first and never wanted her to feel left out, and to be honest I've always said to myself I don't think I can be with someone until she's alot older, im 35 and have been feeling like the time it ticking if I wanted another, but his Literally turn nasty The minute he found out I was pregnant again and basically told me he doesn't want anything to do with me or the baby. I just can't believe how someone can switch after begging me back for so long and not leaving me alone and telling me how things would be so different next time and he would be there for me. I'm very early about 6-7 weeks, I literally don't know what to do. Part of me does want this baby. Cos I feel like this would be my last chance, but then I think how things are with me and my daughter and how close we are, how would it affect her? And also me being a single mum with two different baby dads doesn't sound good and I know I wouldn't be with someone for a very long time after this, how would I cope with that single mums get a lot of stick as it is, But I think maybe that's how my life supposed to be to be a single mum and love my children, It also doesn't help that my sister is pregnant and she is due to have her c-section next week. How am I going to feel holding her baby after having abortion, I have the phone call today to order the pills for termination.But I still don't know how I feel, but I don't want to leave it too long. I just can't believe this man has done this to me. But I should've known from the first time. He already has 3 children in the beginning. He lied to me and told me he only had 2. He had also been very on and off with the baby mum. I reached out to her when I was pregnant and she told me everything that I needed to know. But he literally would not leave me alone, and it And insisted that they are not together, which they aren't But he uses the children as an excuse to go around there. She told me she slept with him last month and he tried to have sex with her last saturday as well.But she said, no, this is after finding out I was pregnant. I know i'm a fool For letting him back in but I'm only human and gave him a second chance.

OP posts:
Missloulouxxx · 24/11/2025 11:20

I feel so used aswell I feel like I was just a sexual object to him and a fantasy and fetish, the thought of another man touching me again makes me feel sick, I don't know how I've had such bad luck in men my whole life.

OP posts:
BudgetBuster · 24/11/2025 11:23

You need to completely cut this man from your life. You need to put your daughter first and realise that a man like this could be detrimental to her life... the way he swans in and out and manipulates. You don't need him and I really hope you realise your worth.

You need to stop communicating with him completely. If he has keys to your home, change your locks.

Re the baby... I certainly wouldn’t be having a call today to order pills if you aren't 100% sure that's what you want. You are already a single mother, so you can do it. Who cares if the kids have different dads... that's actually pretty normal these days tbf.

cobalt123 · 24/11/2025 11:29

If you have this man’s child even if you are not with him it will be impossible to cut him out since he will be the father of your child. He sounds completely toxic, if you go through with it then he may be in your life for the rest of your life which would be a disaster for everyone involved.

Saskia2023 · 24/11/2025 11:29

When you have a phone call ask for counselling. Dont rush the decision - you need to talk through it with somome as sounds like so much is buzzing round your head. In te3ms of the age gap- my child was a similar age when we had another and its been anazing for him. I was worried i was ruining his life and our bond but they adore each other. Get support before making the decision is what i would advise

rubyslippers · 24/11/2025 11:30

Do not tie yourself to this man with a child - he’s bad news and he would be a toxic presence in your life
in the circs you described I would terminate

PluckyChancer · 24/11/2025 11:36

In your shoes the answer is easy. You really don’t want to have any ties to this awful man for the next 20+ years. He’s treated you appallingly. Imagine what he could do to an innocent child!!!

Missloulouxxx · 24/11/2025 11:37

Thank you for your reply, I have already changed my number, I was so done with him last time and he knew that maybe that's why he tried so hard to win me over again. It's just a very hard decision for me now, and either way I don't want nothing to do with him, even his friend has blocked him for what his done again, his been playing the baby mum aswell so hopefully she doesn't take him back either these men never learn.

OP posts:
caringcarer · 24/11/2025 11:44

Get this toxic man out of your life forever. That should be your number 1 priority. You have still got time to decide what to do about your baby. You had unprotected sex which suggest you do want another baby. You are a single parent now so know you are capable. It might be nice for your DC to have a sibling. I have 8 years between my eldest DS and youngest DS and they have an amazing relationship as adults and got on well as DC too.

Babyno2duejuly2026woo · 24/11/2025 18:43

At the end of the day this is your choice alone and everything we say, take with a pinch of salt

If I was in your position I would consider the effects on my existing 9 year old and would probably decide a termination. I don’t think I’d want to tie myself to this toxic, waste bag knowing it may affect my DD.

Please please move on from him and focus on your DD, no matter what you decide.

humptydumptyfelloff · 24/11/2025 19:10

Op from a good place I say this but for the love of god DO NOT go near him again ffs

be responsible for the dc you already have and do t invite narcissist men into her life and let her think that behaviour is normal. She will grow up thinking that’s how life is for women.

seriously have a good think because if you keep this baby your tied to him for life.

Missloulouxxx · 26/11/2025 23:36

Pills have been delivered, I'm stil so unsure with my Decision.

OP posts:
BudgetBuster · 27/11/2025 10:20

Missloulouxxx · 26/11/2025 23:36

Pills have been delivered, I'm stil so unsure with my Decision.

I think you need to hide the pills for now before you make any rash decisions and immediately get yourself to see a counsellor. You need to sound this out.

Has he tried making contact?

OrangeeS · 27/11/2025 10:25

cobalt123 · 24/11/2025 11:29

If you have this man’s child even if you are not with him it will be impossible to cut him out since he will be the father of your child. He sounds completely toxic, if you go through with it then he may be in your life for the rest of your life which would be a disaster for everyone involved.

This. My friend had a baby with a vile excuse for a man. We told her not to go ahead as he will always be there in the background causing problems and lo and behold the chickens have come home to roost. She regrets the decision to have had a baby with him because he causes so many problems and as pp points out she’s tired to him for 16+ years

Missloulouxxx · 27/11/2025 10:40

I know what I need to do, it's just so hard for 2nd time, I feel like I'm already Grieving a child I will never get to meet.

OP posts:
Missloulouxxx · 03/12/2025 10:09

Taken the first pill today I feel incredibly sad and guilty

OP posts:
Bells3032 · 03/12/2025 11:01

Oh sweetie what a rough position to be in again. I know you feel guilty but you made the right decision and put yours and your little girl's lives ahead of any potential there could have been. Keeping this baby would have kept him in your lives.

I hope you are feeling better soon and maybe consider some councelling for yourself to ensure you don't fall for a man like that again

BudgetBuster · 04/12/2025 14:35

Missloulouxxx · 03/12/2025 10:09

Taken the first pill today I feel incredibly sad and guilty

I'm so sorry you are in this position. It's a very tough decision to make but I think for your and your daughter it was the right choice.

I hope you don't have to deal with him again. Stay strong x

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread