I really didn't want to do this but everythings just getting too much and I feel so awful ...

[Disenchanted]

I could never ever do anything drastic and wouldn't want to as this baby is very wanted and very much 'tried for' but I can't help feeling it was a stupid thing to do and part of me wishes I didn't get pregnant

I have even had moments where I have been so down I wished it would go away.

I feel like shit writing that but I can't tell anyone in rel life and i feel horrible for admitting it when so many wanted babies are lost...

OMG what the hell is going through my mind??

I DO want this baby, so much but Im so tired all the time.

I feel like a shit mother and that everyone thinks Im not going to cope

My mum said to me the other day

'you had better pull your socks up now theres going to be 3... its a whole other ball game'

and that scred the shit out of me and made me feel liek a failure before i have even started!

Plus since getting pregnant everything has gone financially wrong and we are seriously up shit creek without a paddle and I dont know what to do.

I know deep down that all that matters is a happy healthy family but everything seems so crap at the moment that im finding it hard to stay positive

Hello disenchanted, I haven't got a lot to say except not to dread going from two to three. I in my experience going from one to two was the worst and the hardest work, and going from two to three wasn't as difficult, and I think your Mum is wrong on that one. But everybody's different. It is such a difficult time and you must be exhausted. I hope you get some good advice.

For practical help, have you tried Flylady? www.flylady.net. I know the system isn't for everyone, but just getting a couple of little jobs done each day might help you to feel you're a good mum (which, of course, you are anyway )

I've rather fallen off the flylady wagon, through being exhausted due to pregnancy, a crap job and the early stages of pre-eclapsia, but and going to try and re-start today. If you want to start with me, that would be lovely!

Disenchanted you poor thing - wish I could give you a big hug. I really think you should have a chat to your GP too.

I keep thinking that the reality of 3 children must be slightly easier than the fear of the unknown with 3 children. It is so tiring being pregnant with a third.

I have days when I'm so tired and miserable and we have big money worries too with two unpredictable self-employed incomes - and I think how on earth are we going to cope? My Dh can also get very down about things, especially money and it's hard to stay positive when your partner isn't feeling too great.

At least when the baby's here your hormones will start to go back to normal instead of making you feel so tearful and you won't have the sickness and discomfort etc. When you do get to sleep it'll be proper, comfortable, non-pregnant sleep. Pregnancy is a big strain with children already and work.

Will your eldest get early years funding to do some nursery? And will the middle one get pre-school? Our local pre-school is only £4 per session per child and I think sending my girls there 2 mornings per week will make it a bit easier to cope with the new baby.

Your boys look so gorgeous and happy on your profile and you are obviously such a good and loving mother. Please don't be too hard on yourself - we've done nearly a third of it now so not that far to go!

Disenchanted - you are doing a greta job and this is normal.

I am 22 weeks pregnant after 2 MCs and trying to conceive for 16mths, I thought I would be thrilled like I was with DD but most of the time I feel sh*gged. Lost my Dad late last year, have had an enormous number of unepxected things to pay for this year, DH is stressed and down cos his job is under threat of redundancy and my colleagues have been very unsympathetic about my pregnancy . So most of the time I feel too tired or stressed or down to enjoy it.

What I try and do is take time for myself frequently, this sounds so corny but I find massaging my tummy with a nice body lotion really soothing and helps me enjoy my pregnancy. I know it is hard with kids but making you a priority is so important.

And yes, definitely talk to your GP.

I would go see GP, ive been feeling like i've made the wrong desicion with getting pregnant again, but deep down its what i really wanted, ive had unwanted comments from my parents about this pregnancy which has made me feel like shit. I went to see my GP the other day as i've been feeling so depressed for weeks, she wont put me on medication, but said i could see a counseller, normally there are long waiting lists but with being pregnant they can normally write some sort of letter to get you seen quicker. Even if your gp cant do much for you i found that just talking to her made me feel alot better as there was noone else i could talk to.

What everyone else said. There are antidepressants that are perfectly safe in pregnancy - I take them every winter and my GPs were perfectly happy with me trying to conceive at the same time. They and my midwives keep reminding me to come see them if I feel I can't cope.

The tiredness and emotional stuff I found was at its worst around 16 weeks and then it got a lot more manageable - I'm still tired but not upset about it. I have refused to phone my mum though as she means well but is a genius for coming out with comments like "you'll have to start being organised" and other undermining things. We email instead and I try to talk to encouraging practical friends. But making sure your GP or midwife know how you're feeling sounds useful. You can phone midwives even before your booking-in appt, too.

Best wishes.

Ah, poor you. I think this can be a normal part of pregnancy when those little hormones chase our brains into gearing up for a new addition and/or it can be depression. Go and see your GP!!

disenchanted, i have children almost the same age as yours.
i am 9+ weeks with my third and i felt the same as you a couple of weeks ago until about yesterday.
i felt so sick and stressed, even though we had been trying for our third for a while and had a m/c, i begain to think i had made a huge mistake and thought another m/c wouldnt be such a bad thing (i felt horrified that i had even thought that as well). i think it was all about fear, fear that i will not be able to cope with three young children, fear that i will never get back to work (a job i loved and origionally never wanted children because i didnt want to leave), fear about how we would financially cope, and actual fear that i would lose the baby.
we lost a huge amount of work the week i found out i was pregnant and even though it means OH gets more time at home i worried how we would cope.
now the sickness is getting better and i feel a bit better in myself and i have reached the 8 week mark and am approaching the 12 week mark, i feel much better about the baby.
i think my head was protecting me if i lost this one, as i was shocked and devastated with the last m/c, even though it was an early one.
i am still stressing that i will go for a scan and there will be nothing there. i think when i have seen him/her it will be alot better.
go and see your GP and see what they can advise, you dont have to take tablets. just talking to someone might help.
big hugggggs

I remember this - helpful no3 comments. I felt like saying 'yes I know it's going to be blooming hard but I want this baby and your comment is not helpful MUM' (mine too, and sister and 10 yr old nephew!!!) (although I was a bit doubtful myself at the time!!) You will love having 3, it may be hard for a bit, it will be 1000x worth it - you may even go for 4!!!