Starting mat leave - DD#2

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Deciding when to start mat leave with #2 - already exhausted...

• Very active DD2 who cosleeps and bfs 4+ times a night
• Office job but high pressure. Long commute into the office a 3x days a week, but hoping work will be flexible on this
• Not sure if I will return to this job post mat leave
• DD arrived at 38w0 and likely doctors won't let me go past 38/39w this time
• DP also works very long hours and no idea how we will have time to prep as we go (already a long backlog of essential jobs to do)

Ideally I would finish at 35 weeks. But reading lots of previous threads saying "I went off at 40w to prioritise spending time with my baby". So feeling guilty about wanting to do this and need some guidance.

Please help

In a similar position but with baby 4. I’m exhausted this time. I worked until right up to the end with the others but I don’t think I actually can this time.

I’m planning to make my last week at work around 34/35 weeks. The way Christmas falls and with annual leave and office closures that were arranged months ago I only need to take 2 weeks annual leave to make it work. I’ll be taking the full year and I imagine I will still have quite a bit of holiday to use too.

This will be my last baby and I think I need to prioritise myself a bit more this time around.

I went off at 39+6 with DD2 and 37+5 with DS (he was induced at 38w so I brought it forward) because I couldn’t afford any time unpaid at the end of mat leave. I was definitely exhausted by the end though and zero judgement for women who wanted or needed to finish earlier than that.

I went at 36w with DD2. DD1 was a spontaneous birth at 38w and so I was already planning to go at 37w. Then at my 36w appointment, I discovered I had high BP so midwife advised me to stop work immediately. I did and had 3 weeks of monitoring every other day. Managed to get to 39+3 before I developed preeclampsia and DD2 was born. I was so glad that inbetween all the appointments, I didnt have to worry about work - DD1 could be in nursery and I could just rest and look after myself. So based on what you have said, i dont think 35w is too early for you at all!

I went back both times when DDs were 10months ish so I never took the full year anyway.

Your work / house situation sounds similar to ours and I wish I had:

• not bothered batch cooking and just bought Cook meals instead
• hired a cleaner for a one off deep clean before baby came (if you dont have a regular cleaner)
• hired a handyman to come and do all the little niggly jobs. We actually did this once DD2 was here and it was so good. I just gave him a long list in advance, he brought all the bits with him that he needed and got on with it.

Well if they won’t let you go past 38/39 weeks and you’ve already had a baby at 38 weeks… I don’t think going off at 40 weeks is really going to be viable anyway is it…!

Don’t feel guilty about it - I did 40 weeks (mine both late) as I wasn’t taking a long mat leave and tbh I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who did that. Everyone thought I was very eccentric and a workaholic.