Returning to work pregnant - how would you handle conversations with work

[Queenie678]

Just after some advice really on how to handle a last minute conversation with work about my return to work plan now I’ve found out I’m pregnant again.

For background -
I’ve been on maternity leave with first baby for a year and agreed my return would involve going back 2 days a week from 1st December (not too long to go!), then full time from start of Jan. This also uses a small amount of accumulated leave, which I wanted to save to use over the year rather than tag onto the end of maternity leave. This was all suggested by me and work haven’t been pushing me. Baby is due to start nursery in Jan. I work an office job on client projects, for a large organisation, it’s mainly home based. I have a good relationship with work, but I now have a new manager who is new to the company.

Finding out we are pregnant was unexpected to say the least. But it’s changed my thinking about spreading annual leave over the year rather than tagging more of it onto the end of my maternity leave. If everything goes smoothly I’ll be going off on maternity leave again at the start of July so I won’t have much time to take any leave. Taking time off mid client project can be tricky and disruptive. So I think taking it in a block is better for the business. For me personally I can delay nursery start to save a bit of money too.

I’d really like to have a conversation with work next week to ask them if I can use my more of my annual leave to extend maternity leave, returning to work full time at the start of Feb.

Does anyone have any advice on how to handle the conversation?
From their perspective this would come at quite short notice and a bit out of the blue. But I feel like disclosing I’m pregnant might help it make a bit more sense - I’m only 5 weeks along though so it feels way too early to disclose this. Or should I make up some other reason like a nursery mix up and I can’t get a start date until Feb (although I don’t think being dishonest is the best approach).

Any advice on how to handle it?

Thanks so much!!

My advice I'd be transparent and focus on business needs. Keep it short and factual. Zero apologies.

I'll be honest i did similar and it stalled my career at that company. i wasnt treated as "a star" any more but... i wasnt a star. I was really sick and unreliable in 2nd pregnancy and company was undergoing multiple layoffs across three years so 🤷🏻‍♀️ also i 2 under 2 which is.. a lot.

I honestly dont / didnt care too much. I am a good worker,its my legal right and it panned out okay. I avoided multuple layoffs and got what i needed (2x 6m full pay mat leaves and great private medical). I could have ticked on but am moving now youngest is coming up 2 so i can get serious someplace else.

You can carry over your leave in unlimited amounts for the next two years so I would honestly get back to work full time now and then Use the leave to start your maternity leave a bit earlier this time round. I wouldn’t be telling them about the pregnancy until you need to do so.

Thank you so much for your advice.

@SalmonOnFinnCrisp thank you for sharing your own experience too, really helpful and I feel like I might be in a similar position to you. Work is going to have to take a bit of a backseat for a while, 2 under 2 was definitely not the plan, but here we are!

I have no excuses as it was my (idiotic) plan 😅

Youngest it 20m and its getting much easier. I'm lucky they are good sleepers.

I have found it hard personally, as being a high performer was a big part of "me" but i have (very slowly) accepted there are "seasons" and autumn / winter is okay and i need to accept it.

Also i LOVE the kids so much that the £££ is a means to an end now whereas before i did it for glory and "the prestige" and the money was kind of a by product / sign you were doing it right. I would have laughed in your face if you told me that 4 yrs back.

I'd focus on setting yourself up for success and get a 2nd gand bugaboo donkey. It does the job but i fucking hate the city jogger!

When does your holiday year start and end OP?

It’s pretty common for people to last minute decide they want to postpone their return to work.

As it’s getting closer, I’ve realised that my original suggestion was a bit short sighted. In reality I’d much rather extend this leave period and use most of the accrued leave before returning. I don’t think that having that much leave available for once Im back is going to be realistic to actually use. December is always a bit bitty. How about I use most of the leave and return properly on X date.

It runs from January to December