Pregnancy after loss - 18wks Too anxious to announce to family

[ZxrH888]

Hi everyone

I am currently 18wks pregnant with my rainbow baby after a loss at the start of this year at 16 weeks.
I cant help but feel so insanely anxious at the thought of announcing - to my close family/friends. My husband and mum know so far and have been great. I have the overwhelming feeling of dread that something will go wrong and I just cant cope with the feeling of people feeling sorry for me.. I don't know if this makes sense to anyone who's been through something similar. A part of me would love to share the news and wants to be super positive but most of the time I feel like I need to be on guard and keep this to myself as long as possible. It also makes me feel awkward thinking they will all eventually notice a bump (I've popped quite a bit already but can easily hide it with layers) - and I would have no choice but to then announce? Any advice from people who have gone through pregnancy after loss would be greatly appreciated as I don't know how to go about this😩

Given your recent history it’s totally reasonable that you wait to the 20 week scan before announcing anything. Once the scan has passed you’ll hopefully know you have good news to share and can feel a bit more confident in yourself.

That's totally understandable and I was exactly the same. I didn't even tell my parents until about 23 weeks as I was so scared something would go wrong.

I never did do a big announcement, just told people as and when it came up. Don't force yourself before you're ready. Pregnancy after loss is so hard. Xx

Hi, I relate. I lost a baby at 19 weeks and I'm currently 23 weeks with my rainbow. I actually had no choice but to tell people early this time as I had severe HG and they would have worried I was terminally ill or something if not!! I know it's an incrediblely anxious time, I'm still so anxious all the time! But you've passed the time of your last loss which is an amazing milestone! Maybe you could wait til the 20 week scan and if all well announce then? That's what I would have done if I could have got away with it! x

Hey @ZxrH888Congratulations on your pregnancy!

I am currently 13 weeks after a loss at 11 weeks and a long IVF journey. After our 12 week scan my bf was so excited to tell people and I was so nervous. I too can't shake the feeling that something will go wrong, but I don't think that feeling will go away for my entire pregnancy unfortunately.

I definitely got swept up in my partners excitement and agreed to tell our parents and siblings when I wish we hadn't. For me, it's not just telling them but now the daily messages from my Mum asking how I am, the knitted baby items my MIL is making and them asking when they can share the news! Their excitement is alot when I'm only feeling anxious.

There is absolutely no rush to share. My advice would be for when you do share, to keep that circle really small and slowly increase who knows at your own pace. If you can, make it clear what you want and don't want e.g. constant texts checking in from your Mum...I find it overwhelming! I still haven't found a way to tell her to stop yet 🤦‍♀️