6 months pregnant - house moving disaster :(

[bluesuedeshoess]

Hello - first post here and just looking for some advice / reassurance here I suppose.

I’m 6 1/2 months pregnant and we’re going through a house move disaster - it could definitely be worse, I know, but lately it has been so distressing.

As soon as I fell pregnant (quicker than expected which we were so overjoyed about!) I knew we needed to try and move - I own a small 2 bed city garden flat with my husband, young dog and cat and we were already struggling for space with WFH etc. Amazingly, we found a house we loved and a buyer for our flat relatively quickly and by the summer were well into the conveyancing process.

We were pretty much ready to complete with nearly everything finalised when our sellers pulled out two weeks ago - their onwards purchase had fallen through. It felt like the most huge disappointment with everything we’d been working towards gone in a moment and really knocked us. After a stressful week, we decided to go through with the sale of our own flat and had actually found a promising rental near us - things were looking up again.

Until yesterday, when our buyers pulled out for unrelated reasons to do with their own personal situation. It seems like we are totally stuck in our flat for the moment - I can’t think of a way to get into that lovely rental, and it seems we will need to relist and try and get another buyer before moving out.

I guess I’m just looking for some words of encouragement because at the moment I feel so beaten down and hopeless. Whilst our flat is lovely, it’s so unsuitable for a newborn and we have no space for any more stuff/furniture - I’m sick of coming up with creative ways to save space and was so so ready for the extra bedrooms and kitchen space. I was mentally out of here, and couldn’t wait to buy nursery furniture and make baby’s room super special. I was also looking forward to having my mum to stay in the first couple of months - there won’t be any possibility of that now and I’m grieving that special family time too.

It’s been a hard year for both my husband and I for various reasons and everything we were doing felt like it was working towards our wonderful new start. Now we are back to square one in a space we won’t want to be in..please tell me it’s going to be ok?

I have a couple friends with two kids and less space (albeit they don't the pets), they manage absolutely fine. So I expect you'll be fine too.

A baby doesn't require a crazy amount of space initially. Plenty of time to find a new buyer and ller.

A newborn doesn't need a nursery, they don't even need a cot - they want to be near you, all the time. In their ideal world they'd snuggle up in your bed with you, sit on top of you all the time, where warmth, cuddles, milk and the sound of your heartbeat are right on hand.

Since this is not what is likely to be perfect for you, and co-sleeping is not something I'd suggest as a first or safest option I'd get a next to me crib or moses basket.

To store clothes you need literally 1 drawer. At a push a basket on the floor also works. Baby clothes don't take up much space.

Make sure you have a tumble dryer or a solution for drying clothes.

No-one needs a changing table. A mat on the floor is safer anyway.

Start the process of moving again. You've probably got 6 months before you really need to worry about whether you have enough space.

Hello,
I know how devastating it can be! Especially when you mentally check out. We are in a simulation situation. 3 small children, one is 6 months and we were meant to move before third baby came alone but all fell through… we are only in a two bed maisonette… so living in three rooms… it’s been tough at times especially space wise and all on top of each other. But we have just competed on a 4 bed house so we are so happy. Sometime you have to struggle a bit and it will all
work out in the end. Our grandparents generation has 10 children in a 2 bed with children sharing beds and it was fine.
we have so much stuff nowadays that it takes over our homes…
babies don’t actually need a lot! No baby changing table. Have them in a cot and one drawer or clothes. Store bits under their bed and honestly they only need a small basket of toys and books, give them spoons and pots and household items to play with. With my first I had everything, all the furniture, nursery , toys, wardrobe full of clothes and now I’m on the third you realise how little you
actually need.
Hope it all works out soon! Time will pass and the perfect home will be yours soon x

I can sympathise! But you can definitely make it work. We live in a two bed garden flat with a toddler. It's tight, desk in living room, I work at kitchen table, but it is doable. And you won't need that second room for baby for months, so perhaps your mum could stay there? I understand though. We feel very stuck - trying for baby number two so trying to sell our flat but we've had two buyers pull out too, it's unbelievably frustrating. Feels like nothing is working so I totally understand!

It is heartbreaking when your house move falls through. It happened to us a couple of years ago and was hard mentally adjust to staying in this house. Our house is pretty small so I would love to move.
But, newborns don’t really need all the stuff you’re told they might need. They definitely don‘t need a nursery! Advice is that babies sleep in your room for the first 6 months at least, so you still have about 9 months to relist and sell / move to create a nursery if you wanted.
I’ve got a toddler and a 12 week old and have found that a changing table is unnecessary. I keep a changing mat under the armchair in the living room and just slide it out when needed. Keep a nappy caddy with plenty of nappies and wipes and changes of clothes next to the armchair so everything is in easy reach.
I use the ‘nursery’ room to store junk and extra baby clothes in a couple of drawers as it never gets used. Even my 2.5 year olds bedroom isn’t really used for anything other than sleeping, so half of it is storing baby bits I need to sell at the moment and the other side has his crib and some drawers for clothes. They don’t need their own play space for a while as you’ll want them to be in your sight at all times.
We have a next to me crib in our bedroom for night time sleep, but during the day the baby just sleeps on us. He’s never had a nap in a crib. We did have a Moses basket which was handy to plonk him in briefly when I needed him off the floor / out of reach of the toddler. But babies love to sleep on you, so you probably don’t need a sleep space for them downstairs.

The only thing I’ve found tricky is the pram. They can be quite bulky even when folded, but we make it work (We sometimes keep it in the car to save space in the kitchen).

Honestly don’t worry too much about having space for the newborn and all the furniture etc just yet. I think you have plenty of time to get everything sorted and try moving again. Don’t be tempted to buy everything you’re told you’ll need. Once baby is here you’ll see that you spend the majority of your time in one room, and they don’t need much entertaining.

House moving is an absolute disaster, you'll hear a lot of stories about them falling through. I was living with my OH's mum and dad AND 2 dogs when i found out i was pregnant, we were waiting on a house anyway, but it kept falling through and took us atleast 6 months for it to finally go through because although we didnt have a chain, the seller did and we had to wait for her to buy another house before we could ever move in (obviously) we got to the stage where we'd just had enough and said it was getting stressful. So we had to give an ultimatum we either move in, in the next month or 2 or we pull out and take our money elsewhere. It did work because the seller was eager to get out of this house as she had 2 daughters living in the same room (one baby, one almost teen) she needed a bigger house!

We moved in finally and unfortunately miscarried shortly after.

Im now 39 weeks pregnant in the same house, we've done the nursery (because im a control freak and wanted it done asap so i didnt have to think about it later down the line when baby was so small and knew it would be ready for them to move into when they hit 6 months)

Babies are meant to stay with you until 6 months, its called safer sleeping and im sure your midwife will have possibly spoken to you about this, or she will be.
Babies dont need very much.

You can buy a next to me crib around £40, just to put next to your bed, at the bottom of the bed if needed. It has to be somewhere in your bedroom.

You'll not need a nursery for baby just yet, they wont use it and it will all gather dust (which ive found out having it done for like 4 months now🤣)
So i should have waited to do it all out until baby is born or atleast getting closer to the 6 month mark.

You'll need a mat for changing which you can store away down the side of a sofa, maybe a little caddy to go with it. Our house is relatively small so we have to save space, we thought it would be perfect for just the 2 of us since we miscarried and didnt think we would have a baby. (Long story for another time lool)

So we have an alcove, we shelved it out and put some woven boxes underneath. These are whats storing our babys essentials right now.

It might seem like a shit show right now but you are able to make it work, you have to. Theres no denying that.

But dont stress about it, you'll get into your house and you'll be wondering when baby is here and a couple of months old what all the stress was about! X

This is just one of those stressful things which occur when buying and selling houses. Resist your flat and get it sold again. Once it's sold you can look at rentals / onward purchases. You will survive int he flat for a short time. Newborns don't do anything but eat, and need to be held or changed. Don't lost hope op. You will get there. It took us over 3 years to move this time. We nearly purchased a completely impractical overpriced house. Lost out on others. Lost our buyer. Dh had an accident. Every time if felt like we'd never get there but we persevered and we are finally in our dream home....currently decorating and getting ready for our first Christmas here.

I'm sure it won't take as long as that for you. Also, I moved with an 8 week old once and I would say it is well worth paying for packing and removals with a baby involved.

It’s really disappointing OP and it’s natural to want to nest and prepare while pregnancy and have everything perfect. But the fact is the baby will be mostly on you guys for months and they really just don’t needs lots of stuff or space when so small. I really hope you find a new buyer quickly

Babies don’t need a nursery. They go in with you in your bedroom. They really don’t need any ‘stuff’ either apart from nappies and clothes. Things like a baby bath can easily be kept in your bath/shower when not in use. Deep breathes, as you have plenty of time to find somewhere before you need to move.

Maybe swap out your current lounge for a really good sofa bed you can take with you to the next place, and your mum can sleep on that?

Thanks everyone, this has helped a lot <3 going to be more ups and downs before but I’m coming to terms with what’s happening and feeling more positive for the next few months.