When did you tell family?

[Catlady1991]

Yesterday I found out that I was pregnant after almost 2 years of trying and a week away from starting IVF, at the moment only me and my husband know. In May this year we had a chemical pregnancy, my tests are already way darker but naturally I’m anxious. I am currently 4 weeks and 1 day (going on LMP).

I ideally wanted to wait until 12 weeks before telling anyone but my husband is keen to tell family next week but I’m unsure. Part of me worries that if we tell people, things won’t go to plan but I’m going to have to tell my mum before next weekend. I work for a rail company and she was coming on a night away with me, I can’t go anymore because I will be given an office job for the duration of my pregnancy.

When did you tell people? Any advice?

Surely you don't need to tell your work just yet? I'd tell anyone that you may want support from if it goes wrong. For me that was family and close friends. I've had two babies and a miscarriage, and told the important people after each positive test.

I didn't tell anyone, even my parents, until about 24 weeks. Like you, I was worried about something going wrong.

It's absolutely a personal choice, so don't feel pressured to tell people before you're ready

Technically I should tell my workplace as soon as I find out I’m pregnant. My job is deemed as unsafe while pregnant, so while I legally don’t have to tell them it’s in my best interest to.

You can't tell one half of the family and not the other though, and it's as much the dad's news as it is the mum's.

Firstly, congratulations! I’m 7 weeks today and we are planning on telling parents and in laws next weekend, so I’ll be 8+4ish. Before we tell them, we have an early private scan booked just in case. But do what feels right for you ❤️

It depends on your family set up. My parents and in laws don't really interact so it would have been easy to tell one side sooner. It all depends on your family

I told my mum immediately and others pretty soon after. If there are any problems, they can support me through that difficulty.

20 years ago the answer was just about always that you waited 3 months before telling anyone.

I didn't tell my family until 12 and 14 weeks, but my partner couldn't wait, so told his side at 7 weeks. It was an IVF pregnancy and I'm older, so I wanted to wait until my anxiety went down and we had scans and screening results back.

As far as work goes, I told my manager at 20 weeks, but HR doesn't require it until 15 weeks before your due date. My job is desk-based, so I don't need extra accommodation, but I'm entitled to time off for appointments now (and there are lots).