Emetophobia, anxiety, 6 weeks pregnant

[Cornwall21]

Hello, I am 6 weeks pregnant with my second baby and really struggling with emetophobia and anxiety. My son is 27 months. My anxiety is through the roof this pregnancy to the point I’m considering an abortion because I don’t feel I can do it.

This pregnancy the nausea has started earlier and it has sent me into a spiral. I’m terrified of being sick but even if I’m just nauseous I hate it. I feel ‘weird’ and ‘off’ every day- a feeling I can’t really explain. A cloud is over me and everything feels bleak. I can’t look after my son by myself anymore as I’m too anxious- his Dad and grandmothers are around to help out where they can. This feels totally unfair on him and I miss our special times together. I love him the word only and am only pregnancy because I wanted to give him a sibling.

Last time I had nausea/heaving/gagging until week 14 so I likely have another 8 weeks of this and it’s going to get worse. I cannot wake up every day like this. I’m considering an abortion for this reason. I’m obviously worried I will regret it I the future but I also know I can tell myself when it came to being pregnant I couldn’t handle it. I want my life back and freedom back. I want to have fun with my son again and to feel l happy.

I know many women would do anything to be in my position but for some reason I can’t find reassurance in this and instead just resent myself further. So I am so sorry if this is you, I really am.

Does anyone have any kind insight into what I should do? Thank you x

Have you tried any medications for the nausea? I have tried several and found Xonvea very effective, although I did get some drowsiness as a side effect.

It also sounds like you would benefit from some perinatal mental health support, is there a local service you could self refer to?

We all want our life back when we’re pregnant. When you’re pregnant the life you had isn’t yours anymore and we have to ride it out as best we can. The first trimester is always hard because you feel sick, exhausted, emotional, lost. I’m 28 weeks tomorrow and, sure, it feels like I’ve been possessed by a parasite, but I’m doing it for the same reasons you are. To give my son a sibling. I also had an horrific birth with my son, which I’m terrified is going to happen again this time, but it’s a price I have to pay.