Panicked at being pregnant with no.2

[northessexmama]

i just found out I am pregnant with baby number 2 a couple of days ago. I already have a 4 year old daughter. For context, we are both in our 40s and had been trying for over a year as I thought it was something I really wanted. However, since finding out I am pregnant I am completely panicking and stressed wishing my period would come. I don’t know what I want and I feel torn. I worry I didn’t think it through and got caught up in it being my last chance. I really wanted my daughter to have a sibling but now I’m pregnant and starting to feel exhausted I really am not sure I want to do the whole baby thing again as I’m just starting to get a sense of the old me and my life back now my daughter is a bit older. I’m worried financially we will struggle with 2 whereas we don’t now and I’m not sure how I’ll keep working my demanding corporate job 5 days a week ( as I do now ) with two children. All sorts of thoughts are going through my mind and I feel very lost and alone. And stuck. Please help.

You’ll be fine. This is pretty normal, I think. I remember sitting sobbing when I was about six months into the pregnancy, wishing I’d never got pregnant and feeling awful about it. That child is, along with their older sibling, the absolute light of my life and worth every complicated logistical childcare nightmare, sleepless night, extra cost, and all the rest of it.

have you always wanted two kids? How are along are you? I think it’s normal to feel panicky even when that’s something that you have always wanted.

i am currently 35 weeks with my 2nd and im excited now, but i can promise you that i was in your exact same mind set when i first found out!!! We tried for 2 years then when i had an early scan i started to panic, thinking what have i done??! All the same thoughts as you (my daughter was 5 when i found out!). I cried for days!!! But a few weeks after i finally relaxed, and you soon remember why you started trying for a second in the first place. It seems like quite a common thing to go through, you have such a perfect life as a family of 3 then think what am i doing!! But im sure everything will fall into place x

I’m only 5 weeks. I thought I always wanted 2 kids but the past few months as we’ve been having difficulty conceiving I started to be ok and see the pros of only having one and now it’s actually a reality I feel dread as bad as that sounds. I’m scared to ruin the life we already have and do wrong by my current child who wants for nothing and has all of our attention.

Congratulations to you :) xx

You will be fine OP, not everyone feels overjoyed as it’s a huge deal, panic can be normal. Speak to your husband about it and share the worries. Good luck with the pregnancy OP

I think it will be lovely for your dc to have a sibling. At 5 weeks pregnant nothing is certain anyhow. It is great for children to learn to share and not be too spoilt. And they will love a brother and sister to play with and grow up with. I am sure you will get excited soon. Just think how lucky you are to have a positive result after trying. I wish you all the best. I have three and they still get enough love and attention and you can hand down clothes and toys. You have plenty of love for 2 and if you have enough resources for 3 then 4 isn’t that much different.

if you’ve always wanted a second child then I don’t think you should worry — you’ll be fine! It’s completely normal as you have a perfect family now and you’re worried about changes even if it’s a good change.

It’s normal to panic a bit OP. Sit with it awhile.