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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Antenatal depression

2 replies

VividGreenLion · 31/10/2025 17:20

Probably going to be a long one.

Coming up to 9 weeks pregnant and I feel so low. Feel like I have ruined everything by getting pregnant even though we knew it might happen (wasn't planned but weren't careful).

I lost both my parents (by age 25) and really struggled with the lack of support when I had my first. First was a reflux baby, only slept through the night at 2.5 years, it was rough for the first year. First is now 3 and up until this pregnancy i had been in a much better place mentally. They are my world and I love our adventures together.

I am definitely still grieving for my mum despite her dying quite a few years ago. When we found out about the pregnancy I was over the moon. Then the nausea and fatigue hit and I was no longer enjoying time with my first and the guilt and negative thoughts started. A few weeks on and I've got to the point where I am considering ending it because I am that low. I thought I wanted this but clearly I am not mentally up to it.

We dont have a support system and when partner goes back to work after 2 weeks paternity I will be solo parenting pretty much for whole of maternity and it fills me with dread. I am under no illusion that ending a pregnancy is easy. I know it will come with its own challenges but right now I cannot see light at the end of this tunnel if I continue.

Finally I am so sorry that I am not more grateful for this pregnancy when so many women wish for pregnancy more than anything. I wish I could feel differently.

OP posts:
Shawoddywoddy · 31/10/2025 20:18

Please speak with your midwife and tell her in clear terms that you think you are suffering with prenatal depression and would like help.

I am absolutely pro-choice but the fact that you were over the moon at first really makes me feel that this is the PND talking.

so sorry about your mum. It is completely understandable that you are feeling this way but that doesn’t mean it can’t be improved.

JustTTC · 03/11/2025 00:49

Im sorry have no advice on your situation, I just want to show support. From someone who did struggle for years to become pregnant, i just want to let you know that you are entitled to feel how you are feeling & Your feelings are valid. We all have our own journeys and nobody can judge you until they walk in Your shoes.

If you do decide to continue this pregnancy, you could try to put some money by to cover bills etc and ask your partner to take an extra two weeks parental or parents leave to give you 4 weeks together at home as a family x

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