Friend being demanding.

[Mummacato]

I am currently 6 months pregnant with my second child and have a 2 year old Toddler.

My best friend is always suggesting we go abroad and do mini trips to places. I suggest us going out for a meal or something low key but it’s never good enough and she’s recently suggested going to Spain for the day for lunch. I feel like im going mad. Is she just not getting it. Why would I want to do that?

My other friend suggested doing a baby shower for me and straight away she said let’s go abroad.
I will be quite far gone at this point so want to do something chilled. I just can’t get her logic.

She is single and has no commitments etc but I feel pressured all the time and then she gets in a bit of a mood if I say it’s too much!

Eventually she will cotton on, it may be easier just to wait for this and try to focus on her positive qualities rather than your annoyance. Some people might appreciate the ambition so maybe she thinks you are one of those?!

Obviously😂my point was, not everyone thinks the same.It’s generalising to say, women who haven’t got children don’t understand, which l referred to in a previous comment.
In your other comment you said, before having children, you didn’t understand, a woman, breast feeding her child, couldn’t be away from their baby! C’mon surely that’s just common sense.

Really?

I think all you can do is keep saying no. The fact that you're still happy to meet up for things like meals should be good enough, it's not like you've ditched her after having kids.

Sorry... mind is boggling at thought of baby shower abroad.

You'd be hard pressed to get me to one next door.

It sounds like she’s not happy with your choices and her continual requests for attention come over as bullying. She wants to put you on the spot to prove some kind of immature point rather than do stuff with single friends who are available.

Her behaviour is abusive - friends as well as partners can be domestically abusive to you and her behaving like this is frankly unacceptable. She isn’t a friend clearly and is thinking only about herself. Why do you even want anything to do with her?

Why? I was in my early 20s, I'd never had a baby or breastfed one. I was an only child so I never saw my mother feeding another baby, or anyone else in the family since I didn't have any aunts/uncles or cousins. I had one friend who'd had a child young, who was three or four when I met her and was well past the feeding stage (and he was bottle fed anyway). This was in the days before the "breast is best" folks were as militant as they are now. Bottle feeding was totally acceptable and more the "done thing" and breastfeeding openly in public was extremely unusual to see. I just assumed that they were interchangeable - that if you couldn't breastfeed for some reason, you could feed with formula from a bottle. Why wouldn't I? That's what we saw in those days. It's nothing to do with common sense, it's to do with a stage of life you have zero experience of. I'm sure there are things you've never seen and know nothing about too.

@TwinklyStork oh my goodness! The point is, just because you may not have experienced something, doesn’t mean you(other people) have no understanding.
And yes it is common sense, you were in your early 20’s.

Did you mean to be so rude? I mean, it's mumsnet, so I'm going to assume that yes, you did, but I could probably name ten things I have knowledge of that you don't. Everyone knows different things.

I had zero interest in babies in my early 20s and no experience of them. Why would I know that a breast fed baby also couldn't be bottle fed unless I'd started learning about babies, which I hadn't?

And how old are you? I'm going to assume you're very young and have no experience of bottle feeding being the norm. So, there you go. There's life experience that you don't have.

@TwinklyStork This isn’t really helping op, is it.
Time to move on.

No it isn't. You don't get to declare that, and the only reason you're doing so is because you don't have an answer. Again, did you mean to be so rude? I could quite happily explain to you about breast and bottle feeding rates in the 80s and why it was different then, if you like?

It's fine though - back then I was busy building a career and having fun, and not wasting my life having babies when I was 21. Maybe you did, and perhaps that's why you can't provide a decent argument on the internet when you're challenged😘

@Twinklystork this doesn’t actually have to be an argument and no l don’t feel challenged🙄 because this 'argument’ is serving no purpose and that’s why it’s time to move on.