2nd baby - top tips for 'babymoon'

[kayjayel]

And is it possible with the 2nd, or did I miss my chance?

I know how I would have done it differently with my son (stayed just the three of us, huddled up, just focus on feeding and napping, with nice food and films) - and it just doesn't seem realistic with a toddler (nearly 3 yrs).

So what have people done that has helped in those early weeks with a newborn when you have a 2-3 year old? What were the nicest things you got to do, and how easy/hard was it to juggle the children?

Thanks!

i had a 17month old when i had my second and he helped me get nappies etc. my husband only had half a day off so i was on my own with them both alot. i had bought my toddler a play kitchen as a gift form his little sister so he made me cups of tea and sandwiches from that when i was feeding baby. a baby swing is also a great idea for the newborn when asleep during the day so you then have time to make toddler feel special playing with playdoh and drawing. we had been doing alot of work with baby dolls before the birth so he had an idea of what was happening and used to feed and change his toy baby at the same time. my little boy loved his little sister and was really gentle (he is usually a hyperactive monster).
this time i will have a 4.5year old and a three year old and i am planning to let them help as much as they can. i think they will love it. i will be taking them to playbarn etc so they can run around and have fun whilst i feed or the baby sleeps. they will both be at nursery as well so they will be able to have time away from the new addition and i will get some rest.

Wow - a 17 mth gap. I am a little in awe - can't envisage coping with pregnancy or two such little ones! And now 3 under three!

Did you have anything particularly special or nurturing for yourself that helped? I'm currently addicted to lavender oil to relax, and am going to try to avoid visitors for a few weeks.

i would have loved to avoid visitors but in-laws think they have a right to come around whenever they like without calling, even though we have had heated discussions about it. i think its rude but they think they own us. when we have a baby in the house its alot worse as MIL is a sad case who doesnt have any friends and thinks she was the best mother in the world, when i think she was a pretty bad mother. she cries to get her own way (which i think is pathetic for an almost 60year old woman) its one thing that really spoils having a baby in the house is that extra stress of her around all the time.

oh i will have three under 5 this time (i couldnt have coped with three under 3y - i have a friend who had a newborn, a one year old and a two and a half year old, its madness!!)

i dont get time to relax much as OH works long hours. its nice to try to read a book whilst the children are playing with the lego or something but they usually end up jumping all over me. occasional visits to the computer to mumsnet help me wind down. doing the gardening is also great for relaxation.

We had 3 yr age gap, and the best thing we did although it seems a bit harsh, was to send him to grandma's for a long weekend a couple of weeks after ds2 was born. Bliss. Plus keeping him in nursery 2 days meant that when dp was still on pat.leave we could do things together and then afterwards. we found that dp spent an awful lot more time with ds1 as I needed to feed much of the day. But we also did visits to country houses/gardens etc with playgrounds so ds1 could run round and I fed on the rug. That was quite nice at times. My best tip now would be if you want to go out as a family, or even stay at home and keep ds happy is to invite a friend of his over. We do this now and it makes life so much easier, it sounds harder but the kids entertain each other instead of ds expecting constant input from you and dh! Might also meant that friends return the favour and you get a few hours off on a weekend!

mel - poor you what a nightmare MIL.
accessorize - I'm really glad someone suggested grandparents - its what I think is probably best for us, but I was feeling guilty for thinking of 'sending him away', despite the fact he adores GPs and will have a ridiculous amount of fun with them.