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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Support and advice needed please

2 replies

HussaAZH · 24/10/2025 21:30

Hi
I had an ectopic pregnancy 10 months ago which led to surgery and a tube removal.
then 6 months later I had a late miscarriage which my body didn’t recognise at 16 weeks and had to be induced, 4 days later I went back in for placenta retention which also resulted in emergency surgery.
it was my third consecutive loss.
my body has been through alot as you can imagine.
i am grateful and lucky as I have 2 beautiful daughters aged 3.5 yrs and a 22 month old.
since my loss, me and DH have been taking precautions when intimate but my period was late. Woke up feeling sick today so I checked and I’m pregnant. Fear and anxiety took over me.
me and DH had a petty argument last night but nonetheless when I found out; I ran into the bathroom where he www and told him. His immediate reaction threw me off as he told me to get rid of it??
that’s not an option and I’m shocked he suggested it as one. A) it’s against my religion b)Iv experienced 4 losses overall , how can I then be responsible for another life lost c) I refuse to put my body through that. D) its just morally wrong
he then went to work and we hadn’t really spoken much , he did text and say he wa shocked and we just won’t tell anyone. Because both our families were very openly strict when saying my body needs to rest and I cannot get pregnant for atleast another year because I need to recover. Which is true.
he then decided to get into it about last night and just escalated the argument and is being absolutely awful towards me knowing I found out I was pregnant today and that I’m stressed.
honestly I don’t know what to do. I feel so down in the dumps, I don’t know if it’s the pregnancy of anxiety making me feel sick and I feel guilt cos Iv hardly eaten but I genuinely can’t.

please no judgemental comments because I genuinely was taking precautions not to get pregnant.
if you have read all of this, thank you I appreciate it because I really would love some support. I didn’t know where else to turn.

OP posts:
EllieWales · 24/10/2025 21:55

Hi @HussaAZH I’m sorry for your losses it sounds like it’s been quite a traumatic year for you and your family. Have you received medical advise on pregnancy following your surgeries and if so is it medically safe for you to continue with the pregnancy?

Do you know how far along you are? It’s possible pregnancy hormones are contributing to the way you’re feeling but ultimately your husband is being unkind. I think this reaction would upset anyone in this situation, is it coming from a place of concern for your health or?

It’s your body and your choice lovely, I hope it works out for you x

HussaAZH · 24/10/2025 22:53

Thank you for your message. I appreciate you taking time out to write to me.
i think my husbands reaction is coming from his mothers reaction, as he’s been told strictly now that I can’t get pregnant due to my health.
we’re also bought a house with mil that we’ve all renovating which my mil has outright said that me DH and two daughters will need to share a room! Because her other son who doesn’t even live with us needs the third room. So I think he’s worried about space as a king size bed, two toddler beds and a baby crib isn’t gonna work! I don’t know but he’s been awful today, truly deflecting and attacking my character for things unrelated. I really needed support and comfort today. Feel horrible.
doctors didn’t say much about whether or not I could conceive they did say there wouldn’t be any outright risks. I have been referred to recurrent miscarriage clinic but o fear it’s too late as I’m already pregnant before they’ve had a chance to do anything. I’m high risk now so il get extra scans. I haven’t even had my placenta results back so we can’t see what caused the loss if anything did .
horrible situation to be in and I’ feel so lost.

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