Worried about telling people/how to prepare for negative reactions

[treefrog89]

I'm around 13 weeks with third baby (second with current partner)..my other 2 are 17 and 6 and my partner has a 22 year old.

Planning to tell my two tonight and he will likely tell his older one tomorrow. Then family over the weekend. I'm very anxious and don't think anybody will be happy except the 6 year old!

My parents help a lot with childcare but I plan to tell them we won't be expecting that this time around. Think they will be concerned about how we'll cope and shocked.

His family...they weren't great when the 6 year old came along but things are good now. Fairly certain there will be a lot of negativity.

Not sure about my 17 year old...

Just looking for some reassurance or anybody that has been through similar. And maybe tips for possible negative reactions and how to handle them, I'm not great with confrontation and feeling very nervous.

why do you think they'll be concerned about how you'll cope?

That's a bit crap if they won't be happy. I have a large age gap like this between DC1 and 2 and most people were happy/excited for us when we announced DC3.

Prepare yourself that family might be shocked etc and will not feel favourably at first. I was in that situation with dc4 and I was going into it as a single parent in very complicated circumstances. It took a few months but everybody came round and now (11yrs later) he is literally adored. My oldest was 15 at the time and struggled at first due to the circumstances but adores his little brother now. My other 2 were 10 and 5 took it quite casually that there was another baby. I would say don’t push it - wait for people to process it in their own time and if they don’t come through for you then consider your next move. My brother didn’t come through for me so sadly I am now no contact with him. My other sibling was there for me right away. My dad took a while (as in didn’t ask his name, wouldn’t hold him etc) but could not love ds more now - as in, genuinely they are best mates.

All the best op, it’s hard. But it is what it is. I would say don’t get defensive or over explain your decision however they react but don’t allow any rudeness from them either. The baby is going to be part of the family no matter what and they will soon get used to it.

Hope any of that helps