Difficult decision

[Boymum2256]

So my and my partner had a miscarriage in may this year (10 weeks) I’ve now fell pregnant again and I’m nearly 6 weeks my partner is going through financial problems right now (his business account was robbed) and it can take up to 2 years to get the money back. He wants me to have an abortion because he’s worried about money, which I absolutely understand. This would be my 3rd baby and his first, both of my children I chose to keep after being in this situation with both of them and they’re now my absolute world. I just know I can’t bring myself to abort my child I’ll regret it and wonder what if for the rest of my life. But if I do decide to keep it I’m going to feel extremely guilty and bad on my partner because I know that’s not what he wants. I’m just hoping he comes around after the initial shock and worry about being able to provide for a child. Am I selfish for not wanting an abortion?

I’m sorry to hear this. I’d feel the same as you though

I'm really sorry you're going through this.

I feel like since you say you'd heavily regret an abortion for the rest of your life, that should be your decision made. I appreciate you'll feel guilty for having the baby when it goes against your partner's wishes, but surely he'd equally feel guilty having you terminate against your own wishes?

So one way or another, one of you has the guilt.

I don't feel you should be made to go through with an about you already know you'll regret

Xx

An abortion isn't a logical response to a business account being "robbed".

I would want to know:

-how exactly did it get robbed with all the bank procedures these days
-if people fall victim to this sort of thing, they don't pressure their partner to have an abortion.

Something doesn't add up with what he's saying.

I would think very carefully about having a baby with this man. If you do have an abortion, I would leave him as well. Then just live with you and your two dc.

Thankyou I’m confused myself as all the money has just “disappeared” I get he’s worried about providing for his child but at the same time I shouldn’t be pressured into getting rid of our rainbow baby which makes it even worse one of us is going to end up hurt which is the sad thing about it

Was this pregnancy planned?

No but we did nothing to prevent it.

His business account wasn’t robbed. That’s a lie and it’ll no doubt be one of many.

This was my first thought. I’ve known people have both personal & business bank accounts robbed, never have they been told it will take 2 years to get the money back.

He doesn’t want a baby, that much is true. It will be the end of your relationship either way- if you go ahead when he doesn’t want a baby then he will leave, if you have an abortion the resentment will be the end of any love you have for him anyway.

So really the decision you have to make is do you want to be/can you cope being a single parent to 3 children, including a baby, or not.

You don’t want an abortion so don’t have one. You aren’t being selfish.

You are not at all selfish for wanting this baby and it sounds like you would regret the abortion for the rest of your life.

However, I would spend some time trying to find out what really happened with all of his money..has he said why it'd take 2 whole years to recover the money? Or is he saying he lost 2 years of money? Either way, it's not a reason for you to get an abortion.

We are talking like £100million pound being robbed it has to go through court so I’m unsure how long the whole process would take but I doubt 2 years either way he will get the money back wether the baby is 6 months or 1

How certain are you that this is true?

I don’t think he would make it up but at the same time I’ve seen no proof

In that case I’d definitely be questioning things OP. For a financial crime as large as this there will definitely be ample evidence!

He will just have to man up and deal with it. Don't have an abortion you don't want.

I will find out soon enough whether he is lying or not and if he is he is very good at lying ! I can’t see him making this up though?

If I didn’t have a miscarriage In may I would have been due in December either way! What would he of done then I would of been 34 weeks this has only just come to my mind I’ll have this conversation with him

I’m sorry OP but it seems quite obvious to me that he’s fed you a pack of lies. There is no £100 million business loss, he doesn’t want a baby.

He had a single business account with £100m in it? Have you ever seen evidence of this? Does he live the sort of lifestyle owning a business with these sorts of assets would imply?

It is VANISHINGLY unusual for a business with this sort of liquid cash to keep it all in one place. No stocks, shares, investments, unliquidated assets? IE the kind of things that would be used to support a child?

I smell a massive rat.