Struggling so much with work, advice needed

[Countingdownn]

I’m 30 weeks pregnant, I already have an 18 month old. I’m working full time as I couldn’t reduce my hours when I went back after having DC1 (requests rejected). I’m struggling so much! Looking for solidarity or practical advice?

My job is not physical but it is mentally draining, I work in ecomm for a brand and we’re entering the busiest period of the year with Christmas and Black Friday, so I’m working super long days and having to remember a lot/make a lot of decisions that I’m finding difficult. I used to have a team of 6 but my 2 most experienced members have left and been promoted to a diff team and there is a recruitment freeze until 2026, meaning more workload between less experienced and fewer staff which means loads more is on my shoulders. I’ve tried taking some AL to help but then my workload doesn’t reduce it just mounts up for the days I am working.

On top of looking after my DC1 and running a home etc I am EXHAUSTED. Is it normal to struggle so much at this stage? It feels too early go on mat leave as it would really shorten the bits with baby.

Can you go off sick until ML kicks in?
Working FT and having an 18montjs old sounds exhausting enough without being heavily pregnant too!

Get yourself signed off sick @Countingdownn

It's not good for you to be exhausted all the time at this stage of your pregnancy.

Is it that easy to just get signed off sick? I have mentioned how I’m feeling to my midwife but she wasn’t super concerned and said it sounds normal.

If you're off sick for a pregnancy related reason in the 4 weeks before your due date, your maternity leave will automatically begin.

It sounds like your work situation would be a challenge even without pregnancy. Your employer has a duty of care - have they risk assessed leaving you to do the same work with significantly less resource?

Other than having more staff, is there anything you think might help?

Just go to your doctor and get a fit note.
Explain that you're exhausted, depressed, anxious and not coping.

I’m 36 weeks with an 18 month old and it is rough! It’s really easy to get signed off sick while pregnant, yeah, but be wary that from 36 weeks if you are off with pregnancy related sickness your mat leave starts immediately.

Do you get full sick pay?

No it isnt, ignore idiot posters who thibk sick notes are available on demand.

They are available for patients who need them.
A woman who is 30 weeks pregnant and who is exhausted is entitled to be signed off.

Your employer is taking the piss - only paying 4 salaries for 6 peoples' work, and I bet you didn't get any increase or overtime for the extra responsibility.

You've probably got to hang in there until your ML clicks in, then look for a new job (with your CV now enhanced by the extra responsibility) after your ML ends.

I think my immediate managers hands are tied. It’s a very large company and they won’t be making the decision on recruitment.

I do get full sick pay so I could go and speak with my gp, presumably they might be more helpful than the midwife?

In pregnancy, especially third trimester, they really are available on demand🤣

I feel a bit pathetic to be honest as I wouldn’t even class 30 weeks as heavily pregnant but I am really struggling to function!

Being tired isn't an illness. A week can be done with a self certificate without seeing a dr.

Exactly.
And 30 weeks is late pregnancy.

Hi, I'm only 19 weeks but am currently on sick and have been since 6 weeks due to hyperemesis. I'm planning to go back when my current sick note runs out at the end of this month but I could stay on sick right up until maternity. My maternity pay will be affected as I have been off during the 17 - 25 weeks assessment period but as you're past that you should be absolutely fine to go on sick. All you need to do is go to your doctor and say you're struggling, either a physical pain or you could say your mental health. As long as it's related to the pregnancy you'll be able to be signed off x

They really aren't. I'm a GP, we don't give them out on demand.

If you’re a gp do you have any advice for me? What would you do if I came into an appointment looking for help?

I'd look at any reasons you might be so tired - probably check iron levels, maybe thyroid if never done before, think about the non-pregnancy related cause of tiredness though obviously pregnancy much more likely. Have an honest chat about how much you can realistically do, how much is your partner doing, what you can downgrade from 'usual standards' to 'good enough' for the moment. I'd reassure you that this is completely normal and find out what is going on at home and whether your partner is being supportive and if not can that change or do you have other family to help. I'd take a mental health history looking for antenatal anxiety and depression.I'd suggest that if useful you take a week off on a self-certificate to catch up on sleep and recharge for the next 5w or so before mat leave.

All of which I think is good medicine, and would take me much longer than to dash off an unthinking sick note for a few weeks, which is apparently what everyone on here thinks should be done, even though it doesn't sound as if time off work will help.

What is your partner doing to help?

@oldclock I'm a midwife and I assure you that the majority of doctors won't be as thorough as you. You must know that to be true.

They'll write the fit note. Easier all round.

Speak to HR. Explain how you are struggling and put them on notice that you may be heading to breaking point. What can they offer you and suggest to help? The ball is in their court to support you, before you resort to calling in sick.

Thanks for that, I’m waiting for my 28 week bloods where they checked my iron level as they were done a bit late but I don’t have other symptoms of anaemia, I’m just tired! My DH also works long hours, we have cleaner etc in place, DH was away with work for the last couple of weeks which did make things more difficult but I have a helpful MIL who had DS overnight for me a few times. I can definitely pinpoint my main point of stress to work.

Some will. You get bad apples in any profession. Not all.

Get signed off for 4 weeks go back for 3 then go on mat leave

Oh of course.
You're quite right about that. I've worked with some horrors of midwives and nurses.

I've personally been very fortunate with my own GPs. I think only one has been spectacularly bad, but the rest have been excellent.

I have 19 months between my children so yeah it was difficult. I ended up being admitted to hospital early as I was exhausted, and anaemic. I slept for two days and was pumped full of iron. Not a fun time. My company also didn’t support reduced hours.

I left not long after as I realised that the company didn’t give a shit and my babies were more important. Hope it works out for you.