Hi!
To give some context to the below before I start. My manager is a new manager, he’s a male with no kids and isn’t widely liked within the team. I have suffered multiple miscarriages and ectopic pregnancies to get to where I am now.
I am very early in my second trimester. I have been suffering with HG since around 6 weeks. At 6-8 weeks I was signed off work due to being admitted to hospital for a few times over these weeks. Since returning I have been signed to work from home by my GP. I am fully able to do my role 100% from home.
Initially when I returned back from being signed off, my manager did a back to work form with me and tried to say my sickness levels had triggered an absence review. I informed him that pregnancy related illness cannot count towards absence reviews, to which he made me pull up the proof that it’s law by finding it on the government website. I initially pulled it up on ACAS - to which he said I couldn’t use as he wasn’t with ACAS?? During this whole meeting he didn’t check in if I was ok, how the pregnancy was going etc which is made even worse by the fact the only other time I have been off this calendar year was in April when sadly I suffered a miscarriage and had to have surgery. I lost quite a bit of blood and was quite poorly. Again during my return in April no concern if I was ok etc just wanted to record the absence.
Also, during this return to work meeting, where I would have been 8 weeks. My manager said if I continued to suffer with HG he would be requesting to put me on early maternity leave.. at 8 weeks.
During the following weeks, we’ve had meetings with myself, my manager and a HR representative. They were to ensure I was ok, and keep them updated with my HG/work from home situation. I want to highlight that my manager explained the only concern he had with my working from home was that I’d miss some face to face training they wanted me to deliver to a new division on a system. When this was highlighted, he advised they was able to get another member of the team to sort this and that’s all that was highlighted.
Last week I noticed my manager had booked in weekly calls with me - no HR - and called them “weekly check ins” my first of which being last week.
This meeting fell just a few days after my dating scan (which thankfully went very well!) - not once was I asked how I was, how the scan went nothing. Instead, it went straight into “You are putting a strain on the team by not being able to carry out the training” despite during the meeting with HR, him saying it was sorting and not raising any issue. He then also asked “how many times a day I’m being sick” “If the sickness is impacting my work” “When I am thinking of going on maternity leave” and if “I am coming back full time” - again Ive just entered my second trimester. I apologised for putting a strain on the team and said this is not my intention at all, but sadly I can not control how I am feeling. This was immediately shot down by him snapping at me saying “I didn’t say it was our intention” to which my reply was that’s how I am being made to feel. I explained that this is not fun for me, and going off what I’ve been through before I didn’t want to take any risks this pregnancy. I also stated I am being sick multiple times a day, but it varies and I do not allow this to affect my work. Being sick is pretty much the same as using the toilet. As soon as I am back I carry on and work through a lot of lunches. I also said if there’s any examples of my work being affected to please highlight these to me, which there was no response.
I was left in floods of tears after the call. I genuinely feel like I am being targeted and thought of unfairly due to pregnancy and pregnancy related illness - both of which I cannot help. I am trying my absolute best to plough on as normal and to not left this affect my work. Like I say, the only exception being the training which has never happened in my role before and isn’t outlined in my job description. It’s literally a once in a blue moon thing and has happened typically whilst I’m suffering with HG. Also worth noting, no directors have congratulated me despite knowing my history etc which makes me feel like I am being portrayed a certain way.
I suffer anyway with mental health and it’s properly rocked me. I really do feel alone and isolated. I’m trying to not allow this to affect me so much as like I say I need to protect this pregnancy at all costs.
Any advice would be much appreciated.