37 weeks and struggling

[Boymama87]

Please don’t come at me for not being grateful, I am SO grateful to be 37 weeks pregnant with my 3rd child after a loss last year. This baby is very much wanted. But I am struggling physically so so much.
I have PGP and SPD and am in agony, particularly at night so I’m barely sleeping. I can hardly walk now but still have to look after my 5 and 3yo. They just always need something. There’s no resting and I spend much life picking stuff up off the floor which is the last thing I want to do. My 5yo obviously also needs walking to school 5 days a week and my 3yo goes to pre school 3. So I know I can rest on 3 week days around the school run but the other 2 I am alone with my 3yo feeling guilty that I’m not taking him to fun places or being fun in general. The school walk is killing me. I have a support belt and crutches for at night from the physio. I’ve been seeing a chiropractor which does help but not enough really. This morning a haemorrhoid added itself to the party as well.
I’m just miserable and in so much pain all the time. I don’t know how I’m going to get through another 3-5 weeks. Both my previous boys were 5 days past DD so tbh I don’t hold much hope of an earlier labour.
Not really sure what the point of this post is, I just feel the need to express how I’m feeling and don’t feel I can to anyone in real life 😔

Totally sympathize OP, the end of pregnancy fecking sucks.

You didn't mention your DH/DP? Mine has the task of picking up anything on the floor at the end of the day and overtaking as much as possible in these last weeks. Anything physical he knows is his task.

DH is great and he will do things if I ask, I just hate asking, especially now I’m on mat leave as I feel I should just be able to manage. He’s obviously currently still working full time. He can’t really do the school runs because of the times of the day and his job but on some days I have asked if he will drop off because I just can’t face it. I’m just constantly looking at stuff I can’t deal with/feeling guilty about what I’m not doing for the boys because I’m just in too much pain and it’s really getting me down. We don’t really have much of a support system, my parents are currently on holiday but when around will do some emergency childcare but it’s always v limited in hours and frequency. They only live 10 mins down the road but I know when they’re back next week they’re not going to suddenly say they’ll take my 5yo to school or anything. DHs stepmum is similar. I know if I go into labour they will try and be available on the day, but in the lead up there are no offers of help despite them knowing I’m struggling.

I feel for you, I really do. You can hate being pregnant and be grateful you are at the same time.

I have a pick up stick (sort of like a liter picker) and it really helps with tidying although I get it's really not going to be a miraculous solution to your problems.

It's so hard being so heavily pregnant. I'm only 18 weeks and I'm sick of it already.

If you clearly tell your parents that you're really struggling would they help more? Daily School run or something would help enormously I imagine

@Oaktreet A pick up stick sounds like a good idea. I’ll look into sourcing one of those. Congrats on your pregnancy too ❤️
@BathTealSkip yeah I think when they get back from their holiday I will try and be a bit more direct with them about asking for some help. I just hate asking because if I do, they often say no, which then upsets me more than if I hadn’t asked. Not sure if that makes sense?
My neighbour has a child in the same class as my 5yo and I’ve been toying with whether to ask her if he could walk with them on the 2 days my 3yo doesn’t go, but I’ve just not been brave enough. Not both ways, but maybe the morning run so I only have to get him ready in time and not all 3 of us.
I think part of the problem is I would offer this sort of thing if situations were reversed, so I naturally make the assumption that they would be put out if I asked.

Call in all the help you need and don't feel guilty.
I'd also speak to your midwife too.

The last 3+ weeks of my pregnancy in the summer I was in and out of hospital, bed bound, unable to drive and couldn't be left alone with my daughter as I couldn't stay awake. My partner and dad had to drive me too and from the hospitals for appointments and blood tests. Grandparents and friends looked after my 5 year old. My partner had two weeks of annual leave where we were meant to go in holiday with his parents but we couldn't go so they were around for two of the weeks. Then I just had to ask my parents explicitly for help and what help I needed. They aren't always the best at recognising what is helpful and when so I had to say please can you do X or Y tomorrow.

An induction was planned for 38-39 weeks because i had icp but they moved that discussion to 37+3 and in the end things got worse and they did a sweep at 36+6 and induced at 37 weeks. There was a very real possibility that I wouldn't have made it through labour if they hadn't induced me.

I would ask your neighbour to help as you suggested for 2 mornings per week - it’s not indefinite & I’m sure that they will understand.
Also, contact Maternity Triage / Helpline & tell them how much you are suffering. They will be able to make an Antenatal clinic appointment or for you to be reviewed in Antenatal Day Unit to discuss early Induction of labour from 37 weeks, although will probably wish to push it until 38 weeks onwards.
Thinking of you!

I’d ask a neighbour especially if your kids are in the same class. We have a classmate that lives in our street and time to time we ask their help with a school run when none of us can pick our daughter up from school (because of working hours, and now I’m pregnant, too). In return, we offer the same when we can, or play dates at ours or buy their kid a Christmas gift as a thank you.
If you need a help, please, do ask.

Youre nearly there now :) I know it's awful and the days feel so long. Do ask the neighbor though! Or any friends along the way that you might be able to walk to and do a shorter walk?

100% ask your neighbour to help! They probably have no idea that you would like or need this assistance... for example when I was pregnant last time getting up and dressed and out the door at a certain time was something I needed for my mental health. So I'd never think of offering to walk a kid to school if I'd seen you do it everyday anyway.

Also maybe on the 2 days where your youngest doesn't have preschool, ask your parents to take him a few hours on 1 day and your DH stepmum to take him a few hours the other day. It'll give you a few hours each day to rest.

Thanks all for your support and advice, I really appreciate it. I do think I just need to ask more. I’ve asked my husband to book a day of holiday this week on Wednesday so he can look after our 3yo and do the school run so that should help a bit. And I think I’m just going to have to drive it some of the time and ignore my paranoia that I’m being judged.
I hadn’t even thought of that @BudgetBuster , especially as I am a world class masker so try to act like I’m totally fine when actually I’m in agony (I’m not as good an actress as I think, I am hobbling like a 90year old).

I am seriously considering discussing early induction or at least sweeps as a minimum because I honestly don’t think I’m going to make it 3+ more weeks like this. But I’m so scared of trying to force my body to be ready to give birth when it’s not as well.

This is just my experience but...
I had a sweep at 36+6 which gave me regular contractions. I came in to be induced the next day and they were 50:50 about whether I would need inducing at all. In the end they did put the pessetry in but I only needed for 4h of the possible 24h. They removed once I was clearly in labour and starting to progress to avoid hyper stimulation.
I laboured well whilst I could be on my feet but my extreme fatigue meant I could only be awake for an hour or so and whenever I lay down to sleep the labour stalled. After about 14h of labour I no longer had the energy to stand because of my physical health and labour went backwards. They decided to break my waters at lunch time and that accelerated the labour and he was born an hour and half later. I went from 5 to 8 cm in 40 minutes. I had two doses of paracetamol during the induction and just gas and air once in labour.
I was told that inductions generally go better if you have gone through labour previously. It was 20h from the start of the induction to baby being born and I wouldn't have had the strength to go much longer and if my health continued to deteriorate in the way it was in another week a vaginal birth would have been off the cards and a c section would have been the only sensible option.

It might be worth a conversation about an early induction, what it might involve and so on to discuss risks of induction versus continuing as you are.

thank you @Superscientist for sharing your experience, that does sound like a positive experience of induction and very much needed with how you were feeling. I think I will bring this up at my next appointment and see what my options are.

Oh an absolutely drive to school! I'm driving to school at the moment most of the time, it a 5 minute drive or a 20 minute walk with the return journey up a big hill. Screw what anyone thinks! Most of the mums on my estate mostly walk but will drive if they need. I usually see it as a reason to check in they are ok.