Remind me- what happens at 1st midwife appointment at 8 weeks?

[mumfor1standmaybe2ndtime]

I am expecting baby number 2, I have to see midwife when I am 8 weeks. What happens? I can't remember!
Can I talk about birth options?

lots of paperwork from memory!

height & weight done, forms to fill in and loads of leaflets!!

We didn't discuss birth options (high bmi, don't think I have any )

Fun! It's weird what you forget.

Congrats!

Why did you decide to go for no 2?

It's just that ds was emergency c section, undiagnosed breech, I had preaclampsia (sp)so wanted to chat about what happened last time really.

Hi! Northerner. Thanks. We just did really! I had few problems and had to go to hosptial for an ultrasound on my ovaries which made me think about having another I guess. Life is too short!

Yes. I distinctly remember being stunned that this was the first thing MW asked me "So, 9weeks now then, congratulations. Would you like a homebirth?" Other than that, dates, health, early bleeds, family backgrounds etc all discussed.

Well maybe I can talk about last pg and birth then. Vicsta - I do remember going to see doctor when I found out I was pg with ds and was asked 'would you like to breastfeed?' I thought my god, how can I decide how to feed at 5 weeks pg!

This pregnancy is my second, so the poor MW was probably expecting to take my blood pressure and go through some routine paperwork. But what actually happened was that I grilled her for 30 minutes about birth options and avoiding my first delivery experience this time round. A supportive midwife won't make you stew until 30 weeks to discuss options. I'm having to wait until after the 20 week scan to go to the hospital where I plan to give birth to chat to the senior MW. But to be honest, I know that so many things can happen before 20 weeks that it's OK with me. Knowing that my CMW is "onside" has calmed me down a lot.

You sound just like me MrsTittleMouse!lol.
I suppose I did want to grill her!

One thing I don't understand is that people on mumsnet are saying that they talk to their consultant or senoir midwife - how? My hospital won't even allow you to look at the maternity ward in advance! I just want to feel in control this time round.

I saw a differnet midwife on each visit with my 1st which didn't help. I think my last birth disaster could have been avoided if I had better ante natal care.

I spoke to the CMW and told her that I wouldn't trust the hospital to respect my birth wishes unless I could go and talk to them. I have become quite assertive this time around. My other option is an elective CS (which might still happen) so I suppose that it's a combination of the CMW understanding how bad the last time was and the possibility that they could avoid the cost of a CS.

Congratulations, by the way.

Good for you! Glad you are feeling strong and happy that you feel on track.
I am feeling that I will definately be more assertive this time round! I think I would either want an elective or a lot more support. Dh wants me to ask for an elective, he was very frightened when I went in to hospital with ds. I passed out several times and as he had lost his mum not long before we had ds I think this didn't help.

God I sound morbid lol!

I definitely think you should talk to mws about your concerns, even if you have to talk to different ones about it. You had a difficult experience and you want to prepare for what will hopefully be better this time.

Good luck.

When are you 8 weeks?

Thanks. My stomach is in knots just thinking about it I think I just need to get it off my chest. Scared that mw won't listen and think I am being 'silly' I guess!
I am 5.5 weeks at the moment so still early days.

Have you come to see us on January 2009? I know it's early, I still feel like that too (also 2nd timer).

I haven't no, is it an antenatal group?

Yes, it's the antenatal thread - here!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/2290/520772

Congratulations

Each PCT works differently. But I suspect your MW will take you BP, check your wee, and write down any initial notes they do (address, previous pregnancies etc).

I hope the mw is more than happy to talk to you about your previous pregnancy, as it seems you need to talk about it.

It may be worth asking if you will be under Consultant led care - which I imagine you will be. And if so, ask when you will first see a consultant to talk about your options. Remember if you need to talk about it, it is never too early to talk about it.

It may be worth finding out more about pre-eclampsia and your baby being breech. Is pre-eclampsia more prevelant in first pregnancies? Was your baby always breech, or did it turn during labour?

Good luck xx

Thank you!
Just had another thought - I took DH with me to my first CMW appointment. He was there as the "heavy" and his role was to back me up if the MW wasn't taking my concerns seriously. Luckily she was lovely and he wasn't needed, but it really gave me strength to know that I wasn't on my own and there was back-up if I needed it. Would that be an option for you?

Thanks IlikeToMoveIt! I will ask if I will be under consultant care (whatever that means lol!) and ask if I will see one. Didn't know I could see one, thought midwife would be the only person I could talk to. I was going to see my gp if midwife was no good tbh.
I have no idea if and when ds was breech, all I know is when I got to the hospital in labour, contractions 3 mins apart, that they found him to be in distress. They did an ultra sound and found he was breech. I was told that his head was engaged a few weeks before. I had a midwife visit me at home at week 36 and was told I wouldn't see one again until day after my due date - this was how they did things!
So he could have turned I guess, I am not sure as my last scan was standard 20 week one.
Good idea to take someone with me, will think on that one, trying to get someone to watch ds so I don't have to drag him along too.