Recurrent chemical pregnancy loss

[MixedBananas]

Morning,

Just need a hand hold really. I feel so alone. I have 2 DC aged 3 and 14momths old. As I am adavnced maternal age nearly 40 we wanted to TTC as soon as possible for baby no.3 and final one to complete our family. Super blessed to get pregnant 1st month with DS1 and 3rd month TTC with DS2. Now we are in cycle 4 and I have had 3 chemicals back to back. Never had one previously. The first 2 I had 0 symptoms of pregnancy and did test at 9DPO eager as I got BFP with both DC at 9DPO. After 3 days the + got lighter then negative until AF showed up at 12/13DPO. Then horrendous periods.
Cycles are regular and normal since 6 weeks PP at 29/33 days in length. I also do charting and OPKs and BBT and always have good charts showing clear follicular phase and Luteal phase.

This month though it has hit me hard and in the thick of it.
At 6DPO I had awful nausea and headache. 7dpo I tested and got a BFP instantly I was worried as I did research and getting a BFP that early can often mean an unhealthy pregnancy cells divided too quickly sometimes Molar pregnancies are the reason. I had my usual pregnancy symptoms so was concerned. Elastic band pinching sensations, round ligament pain when moving to quickly, nausea, headache and constipation and fullness and hard uterus. Twinges on and off. 8dpo i did a test and it was light I used 3 brands. And today 9dpo i tested and barely even there. My symptoms are still present which is more upsetting as last 2 chemicals I had 0 symptoms.
Genuinly feel so broken. Like the NHS don't give a toss as it is pre 5 weeks and with my age they will say the body is rejecting due to chromosmal abonrmalities becuase 50% of advanced maternal age pregnancies end in miscarriage / chemicals.
So basically tough crap and just give up?

Just want this to end now the waiting and experiencing pregnancy symptoms is heart breaking. Just in the thick of it and hard to process when looking after 2 little ones.

So sorry to hear that.

Your TSH may be off. It should be comfortably under 3. I had this and had a successful third pregnancy once I'd treated it. My second pregnancy had pushed me into hypothyroidism. Very easy to treat.

It may not be that but worth checking. My TSH was 4 and pregnancies just wouldn't stick until it was 2ish.

Sorry you're going through this, I'm the same age as you and have had 2 chemicals in the last year, I do think because we are testing so early we're picking them up and that's the problem, if we didn't we would just think it was taking longer. It does take a bit longer as you get older. I met my partner in October 2022, we pretty much started trying straight away due to age. I got pregnant in July 2023 but unfortunately lost that baby in November 2023. Tried again straight away, had a chemical in September 2024 and another in March this year. I then fell pregnant in June and I'm currently 18 weeks. I really had to try and let go and trust it would happen when it's meant to. It's normal to take up to a year at this age. I understand how devastating the chemicals are, I was starting to lose hope. But I think it's just a matter of time until that one sticks and it will happen! Good luck 🤞🏼

@Livingmagicallyagain thwbj you for your response. Mine was checked last year and again in July this year as I had some funny skin issues and they did bloods for eveeything. Liver, thyroid, full blood count, iron, vitamins etc. Wveeythibg was normal bar my iron snd have been on supplements for it for 10 weeks now.
I even had a Pelvis MRI. 6 weeks ago due to a previous injury and that cane out all fine nothing abnormal.

@Pennyroses thank you and I am sorry to hear about your losses. Thats all I been thinking today about those who miscarry much later when they shoukd have been in the all clear. It is all so worrying. It isn't liie I have time ro hang around and have a break. Literal years are running out. Good luck with the pregnancy I hope you get your rainbow baby. Did you have any breaks after your losses? Or you kept trying?
I only teated at 7dpo due to symptoms..it can't be a healthy oregnancy having these symptoms so early on.

Thank you for your words of encouragment. I guess this is my new normal and I just need to stop myself from testing before 12DPO.

@MixedBananas Honestly I understand the testing early, it's so hard to stop yourself isn't it! I tested at 9dpo with this pregnancy even though I know I shouldnt have 🙈
No I didn't have any breaks at all! Just kept trying. I remember the hopeless feelings as each month would pass and another negative test. And when the chemicals happened it was so tough, especially after my previous late loss. I started to think it just wouldn't happen again but it did! I know time is moving on but I know women 42/43 having babies, it's quite normal these days. That's what I kept telling myself when it wasn't happening, that there is actually some time even if it doesn't feel like it. Wishing you all the luck, I'm sure it will happen for you soon x

My TSH lab results were well within the normal range too (mine were 4). When I took them to a fertility check up it was the first thing they flagged so make sur eyou see your actual results, not just "normal". You are looking for comfortably under 3/2.5.

Yes justed checked .ine in July were 1.42 ane the hewlthy range is 0.3 - 4.2 on these Lab ranges. So well within norm.
All my levels for vitamins were great my Vit D was 105, whcih is fantastic.
My iron was low and ferrtin was 12! But I hwve been on supplements since Aug

Thank you. How soon after the negatives did your "period" arrive. I have felt only mild nausea and abdominal twinges. Not tested since Thurs. I just don't want to see another negative and I just want to see this cycle end.
I have been a bit tearful and had a few moments in the day where i break down. But I don't want to give up.
We have decided to try Hertility just to get an over view of hormones and the detailed Ultrasound with it. I think £420 is worth the investment. I could be waiting months on the NHS.

So sorry you’re going through this. My partner and I are also 40 and started TTC back in May, and had three chemicals in four months. It took a real toll so the fifth month I didn’t test for OV or BBT or anything. And we said we’d take a break.
A few days later I had another positive and it was real mixed emotions. I’d almost made peace with the idea of waiting till after our house sale.

I’m currently 6 and a half weeks though, and I really do think it was a case of waiting for a healthy egg and a healthy sperm. You clearly have no issue ovulating or the sperm finding the egg. That’s great news. But it takes a little longer because we have fewer eggs with solid DNA. Same goes for men’s sperm, and tbh my partner was a hot bath taker and energy drink drinker. It takes three months for their lifestyle changes to take effect as well, so it may well have been due to fragmented DNA in his sperm during those first months.

Keep going. Don’t give up. Find ways to manage those early days of positive tests so you feel happy in yourself. Maybe that means no tests in the house, or just being kind to yourself at that time. I can’t imagine what it must be like with two little ones, so find some little pockets of time for self care x