Birth anxiety

[beth202]

I just want to know if anyone has had anything put in place for birth anxiety?
IV had 3 births before. 2 traumatic and 1 easy and quick. But I'm suffering with severe anxiety over this birth due December.
I'm worried about many things inc partner not been able to attend due to childcare
Pain (all my previous births have been planned so pain relief has been in place as a plan and before contractions started)
Having a birth that causes a lot of damage like the 2 traumatic ones in the path.

I just want to know what others with experience of birth anxiety have had put in place or were you just ignored
Thanks

I know people laugh but I found a birth plan really helpful. Knowing that I listed everything that I wanted if x or y happen, it allowed me to control the bits I could control. I’d also speak to a doula and consider having her at the birth as your advocate, you need somebody who can bring down your anxiety if things start to deteriorate even slightly.

all the best to you 💐

there will be a midwife who specialises in supporting women with mental health difficulties - may be worth asking to see them if you've not already.

Feel for you OP, these fears can be intense. I think speaking to your midwife might help, do you feel able to? I experienced horrible anxiety when I was pregnant with my DS2, I'd carried trauma from DS1's birth and I had a lot of worries about DS2's birth amongst other things. I spoke to my midwife and said I thought I needed some support with my mental health. She was great and referred me to the perinatal mental health team for an assessment, who in turn referred me to talking therapies which was incredibly helpful. She also referred me to the consultant midwife and we came up with a birth preferences document together which really helped and was followed. I definitely found health professionals assume you are all good and know what's happening around birth if you've had a baby before, but when I was really clear that I was not ok and needed support they really did help me. So I hope there is help out there for you too if you reach out for it. Wish you all the best OP x

It was really important to me that the midwives looking after me during labour u detesto of my previous traumatic experience of labour. I wrote a birth preferences document with what had happened before and then what they needed to do as a result to support me this time. It was incredibly helpful. I stapled it to the front of my paper notes. I also got the birth reflections team to sign off on it and send it to my consultant which I also felt gave it more weight.

I had a traumatic birth with DS1 for various reasons I won’t go into (but it was an induction and then a forcep delivery) and then 2 losses before conceiving DS2. My anxiety was bad - I spoke to my midwife and they referred me to the perinatal mental health team who, after an assessment, referred me to the maternal mental health team. They deal with previous birth issues or women who have had losses.

I had weekly calls to manage my anxiety. I was also put in touch with a specialist mental health midwife and consultant. After a lot of discussion (and talking about my triggers) I opted for an elective c-section, which was carried out by the consultant I’d been under the care of (not saying you need to have one - that was just my preference). They drew up a detailed birth plan which set out exactly what I wanted, what triggered me and how I would act if I was distressed / overwhelmed etc (so they could recognise it) - even down to having my own room post birth.

The birth was straightforward and extremely healing. I am still under their care now (not even 2 weeks postpartum) and will be for a while. I know each trust might be different but please advocate for yourself and be honest - I feel like they really went the extra mile for me and the difference it has made is unreal. I honestly cannot fault the care I’ve had - it’s been amazing and the consultant still checks in.

Wishing you lots of luck and a positive birth - it can and does happen xxx

I haven't got any practical advice but maybe a bit of emotional advice? I spent the entirety of my 4th pregnancy anxious about the birth. I had had a traumatic 1st birth, a standard 2nd birth and an easy 3rd birth but still I was terrified of the thought of a 4th labour. In the event, it was OK. I think the staff were expecting it to be like my 3rd birth, slight complications made it a bit harder than that, but the main thing I took away from the experience (apart from a healthy baby of course!) was that I had spent 9 months worrying about what actually took a few hours. The anxiety was not proportionate to the pain. And that's what I would advise you. Don't let anxiety ruin what is a very special time for you. Speak to your midwife and get pain relief options lined up if that is what you feel you need to ease your anxieties, but also try to believe in yourself and know that you will cope just fine when the time arrives. Good luck!