Nesting parties - not very British? Or good idea?

[plinko]

Hi all,

First real post so be gentle but I'm a) 7 months pregnant and b) a freelance writer and combining the two, I was thinking about writing about this new 'phenomenon' I saw that is supposedly taking the place of baby showers.

It's called a nesting party and (for the people like me who knew nothing about it till now!) it involves getting your close friends around to do house prepping for the baby's arrival - rather than a baby shower which is just gifts and ya know... straightforward fun!

'I Had a Nesting Party Instead of a Baby Shower, and I'm ...

My question is: is this trend making any headway in Britain? From what I've seen, the answer is no! Is it all a bit too much of an ask to put on the shoulders of your friends/family? Or is it something that appeals to people?

I'm not sure myself so I thought it'd be interesting to ask other expectant people!

Well yes obviously there is more than one definition of ‘party’ but it’s pretty obvious here that it’s about hosting a party and inviting guests. And that the other types of party such as ‘party of 6’ in a restaurant or ‘the Labour party’ don’t have much relevance. And it’s not semantics I don’t think to think that when you invite friends to a party you should want people to have a good time… Isn’t that just normal?? Or maybe I’m missing something IDK. But to me Party = Fun and Painting = Not Fun so the two just don’t go together.

No idea if it's taking off here but it's definitely one of those things that someone might arrange for you - totally cringe to arrange jt yojrself

It's not okay to expect a shower of gifts or for your friends to clean and sort your house. What kind of person thinks this is okay?

Ugh, the word "nesting" in a human context sets my teeth on edge.

Gosh, I thought I could be painfully literal but you’ve got me beat.

Group get together to do some baby prep, finish off with takeaway, beers, chat and some music. A party.

I would love my friends to come and deep clean my house prior to baby being born but why should they? They have their own kids to look after and houses to clean. If I want it done that badly I have nine months to do it but by bit and also save for a cleaner to come and do it.

YABU for ‘expectant people’ alone.

Sounds very entitled. Paint your own nursery and fill your own freezer, it’s not like you don’t have loads of time to do these things before the baby is born.
I hate cleaning my own house, I’m not going to clean yours!
The only way I would find this acceptable is in one of those really rare, “hidden baby” cases where the mother generally had no clue she was pregnant and suddenly had a newborn with no warning. That would warrant extra effort from friends and family, otherwise, sort your own life out.

Sorry but I really don’t get it. What’s painfully literal about thinking parties are supposed to be fun and that doing a mate a favour isn’t a party? Didn’t think that was an overly controversial opinion!

Just thinking about how a few of us helped a mate move last month, happy to do it and afterwards we ate pizza but no one tried to call it a ‘party’ because it just wasn’t to any of us. This falls into the same camp for me.

Maybe agree to disagree…

Could be cute, but when I'm nesting, I know the way I want things done. And to be fair, most of my nesting involves furiously scrubbing walls, going wild on the washing machine, and sorting piles of old paperwork... Lucky baby!

Oh my goodness, I’m so envious. I came home to a tip of a house with mine. With DS, I’d been frantically cleaning so it’d be nice when I got back from hospital but was in a few days and DP couldn’t stay (Covid) so managed to mess it all up (more untidy than unclean)! I begged my mum to come round and help the next day. With DD, I was kept in hospital unexpectedly until she was born and had DP in and out looking after our eldest / a variety of emergency childcare arrangements in /out of our house. It was awful. Everything was a mess. All of my fresh flowers had died and nobody had removed them. I could have cried! I did cry!

Frankly, there is not much more entitled than “I’m having a baby-come and give me a present”

Unless there is an emergency or health issues do people need a huge amount of other people to come round and sort the house out before having a baby.

I can understand asking if someone can help out with sorting out flatpack furniture if that is not your thing, but you don’t need an army to do that

Don’t like baby showers either

No to baby showers (I even hate the term ‘baby shower’)

No to people coming round and cleaning my house, decorating and building furniture.

No to me doing the same at my friends’ houses.

No to shit organised fun.

A hard no from me .

For me this would have been helpful- and I have done lots of this for friends
Building furniture- hubby is dyspraxic and struggles to use an Allen key. I was dizzy from 24 weeks pregnant to the end so couldn't do it- family did it
Cleaning again I struggled from being dizzy all the time
If I am going to see a friend who has had a baby I bring a pie and lasagna for their freezer- do the washing up... And for family run the hoover over, tidy their kids rooms etc
Wouldn't necessarily call it a party- but it's doing life together and I would be there in a flash!!

I didn’t do any ‘nesting’ before my kids were born as they both arrived early so I didn’t get any mat leave beforehand. Just buying the vital baby stuff including borrowing one of those cots that attaches to the side of the bed. The back bedroom was already painted cream and had nice colourful curtains, but the babies slept in our room to start with anyway. Food planning consisted of DH taking over responsibility for food for the first month. Nothing to call friends in to help with even if it were socially acceptable.

We’re all different I guess and have different relationships with our families - the idea of my in laws coming into my home when I’m not there and cleaning, tidying, going through my laundry etc is absolutely appalling to me, I’d much rather come home to a tip. But probably the PP who was pleased about it always has very tidy drawers, no dodgy veg at the back of the fridge and a very good relationship with her MIL!

Another load of nonsense. I wouldn’t want to do someone else’s housework

Nope.

But you are welcome to come and give my house a deep clean.
I have 2 teenage DC, 3 dogs and DH & I work FT, so plenty to do!

I'm superbly old fashioned about this kind of thing, so bear that in mind, but I think all that kind of thing is grabby beyond belief. My young neighbour is due soon, and I'm already stocking my freezer in preparation for them and I will do a big bake at the time. Their parents have been visiting a lot to help with DIY prep. All lovely. The difference is that it was offered, or if asked directly will be freely given. Don't dress it up as an expectation. Shudder.