Can I INSIST on having a caesarian?? also how are caesarian op dates decided?!

[MissDelighted]

I am 5 weeks pg with DC1 and am due to see the doctor next week. I wondered if it is possible to insist on a caesarian (in a normal NHS hospital) or if it is down to the doctors/midwives/hospital/postcode. I am certain I do not want a natural birth and want to make this clear as early as possible to the medics.

I am so set on a caesarian birth I am prepared to use savings to go private as a last resort, although I don't wish to have to do this.

Also, for anyone who has had a Caesarian - do they perform them bang on your due date or is it down to the baby's development nearer the time, or even beds available on particular days? How is it decided?

I would really appreciate any info/advice prior to seeing the doctor as I want to make sure I am armed with enough information not to be swept away with what she thinks should happen. Thanks in advance

Starlight - EXACTLY. Someone could have said, well, before you get too set on this, do lots of research, and maybe have a long chat with a sympathetic midwife about it. They don't ALL try to bounce you into taking one course or another. There was a great post from someone on here this afternoon, which, had I been in the same situation as the op, I probably would have found quite comforting - someone who was insistent on having a cs at first, then actually changed to a home birth! But really, it's what's right for each mother - if someone is forced into a cs when they are desperate for a vaginal birth, they are going to feel upset and cheated and possibly get pnd; ditto the other way round. Of course, medical factors have to be taken into account, but let's just be as kind as possible when making people aware of the different options. On a lighter note, one of the earlier posters actually cited the big white surgical stockings you have to wear after a cs as a reason not to have one!

me too abby, it just didn't happen and yes I had PND and flashbacks - how i dealt with it was to take control of my situation by finding out everything i could about C/S, homebirth and everything inbetween - I decided on the homebirth option because I knew by then that what happened was largely down to my carers doing things to me that were highly likely to cause the outcome i had, and i knew i couldn't stand up for myself half as well in hospital as i would do in my own home, plus, the thought of getting the same midwves all the way through was very appealing, seeing as i went through about 7 with DS1

Starlight it had better be!! But, MW said to still prepare for a fight, that some consultants are reluctant to grant even repeat c-sections. I've been told to take DH as back-up and to prepare for war.

Saying that, I needed to see a consultant at week 5 of this pregnancy, and MW said the same thing - prepare for a fight because they'll treat you like you're wasting their time at 5 weeks - but the consultant was lovely.

As I said, militant MW!!

But I do agree it needs dealing with in early pregnancy; it is a massive worry that things won't get agreed and I was horrified that I would have to wait until 36 weeks to resolve the issue. However, because I'm considered high risk, I've managed to wangle my way in at 24 weeks. This still seems like a long time to wait to resolve something that is actually quite scary.

I think you dealt with it really well jamila. I would like a water birth or a home birth, or even a water home birth . Were you worried that the outcome might have needed another c-section? You didn't say why you needed one (sorry if this is too personal)?

Hello. I was on this thread last night, and have just come back to say that I was 100% trying to be supportive to the OP, even though I (fairly clearly) felt that she had jumped to conclusions somewhat too early in deciding that a section was the only possible option for her. I don't think a section is necessarily wrong. I just think she should keep a more open mind. I said so, and I explained my view. Please tell me that that wasn't construed as bullying?

I'm going now, as I avoid 'hard hat' threads. Too thin-skinned.

I agree with Starlight (again )- the only way that I have dealt with this pregnancy without having some kind of breakdown was because at my first MW appointment the MW took my fears of childbirth very seriously and immediately offered me an elective CS if I wanted one. I don't yet know if I do want one, I'm getting as much advice as possible before I make the decision. But even the few weeks before that appointment were very difficult for me and consequently for poor DH who had me waking up at night in a complete panic.

Maybe my concerns carry more weight for the other posters on here, as this will be my second delivery. I am still suffering the after effects of my first VB, when I was bullied into an instrumental delivery despite knowing from family history that this was a really bad idea (no foetal distress, by the way, so no clinical reason for instrumental).

Ellsbells _ you were not bullying. Not everyone who was on last night was. But sadly some were imo and it got a bit ugly.

Ellsbells _ you were not bullying. Not everyone who was on last night was. But sadly some were imo and it got a bit ugly.

Ellsbells _ you were not bullying. Not everyone who was on last night was. But sadly some were imo and it got a bit ugly.

Ellsbells _ you were not bullying. Not everyone who was on last night was. But sadly some were imo and it got a bit ugly.

Ellsbells _ you were not bullying. Not everyone who was on last night was. But sadly some were imo and it got a bit ugly.

Ellsbells _ you were not bullying. Not everyone who was on last night was. But sadly some were imo and it got a bit ugly.

Ellsbells _ you were not bullying. Not everyone who was on last night was. But sadly some were imo and it got a bit ugly.

Ellsbells _ you were not bullying. Not everyone who was on last night was. But sadly some were imo and it got a bit ugly.

Ellsbells _ you were not bullying. Not everyone who was on last night was. But sadly some were imo and it got a bit ugly.

I totally understand where you're coming from MissD.

I am having an elective section because I asked for one. I have none of the concerns that you outlined but natural childbirth is just not for me. I feel so strongly about it that I would not have become pregnant at all if an elective section was not available.

It is true that technically you cannot demand one, and when I told my midwife of my intention at my booking appointment I was savaged so be prepared. However when I refused to give in she reluctantly put it on my notes and referred me to a consultant. I was so stressed before that meeting but I went prepared having printed off the NICE guidelines for c sections, and knowing that I could have it privately if all else failed. Technically private consultants have the same guidelines but in reality if you want it badly enough and are prepared to pay you can have your way

When I actually met my consultant he simply asked me why I wanted it and I said 'I desperately want it and to be honest the alternative just doesn't bear thinking about...I'm getting sweaty palms just thinking about it' and he said 'fine' It couldn't have been simpler. He explained that his wife felt exactly the same way and had had two elective sections. He then apologetically explained that he was obligated to go through the risks with me, but also explained that there were risks with a natural birth, some of which were higher.

My consultant was clearly not anti but also I don't know whether the fact that this is my first pregnancy and I'm 38, and that we conceived through fertility treatment (IUI) had any bearing on his decision as these were put down as reasons in my notes (although the primary reason was tocophobia -fear of childbirth). I have to say though that I got the distinct impression that he thought it favourable ! I don't believe this attitude can be so far out of line as he is working for the NHS and with all the red tape he would soon be hauled over the coals if he was too much of a maverick.

Having said all of this if your reasons for wanting one are borne solely out of concerns about the safety of your baby I would make this point to your midwife very strongly and ask to be referred to a consultant to discuss as you may be worrying unnecessarily. As an aside, I have been going to see a private obstetrican for scans and it also gives me access to him for any questions or concerns I have which has been invaluable and very reassuring as access to your NHS consultant can be more difficult

Finally, I have been booked in for 17 Oct, which is 38 weeks and 4 days. They prefer to do it around 39 weeks, although some hospitals do it at 38 weeks. They don't like to go earlier as the risk of breathing difficulties goes up due to underdeveloped lungs. I have to see the consultant again at 37 weeks just to make sure that everything is on track but the date is in my diary

Sorry this has been so long but wanted to get down as much as possible as I would have killed for some info and reassurance early on.

WHatever you end up doing just be happy that it's right for you - it has nothing to do with anyone else

Starlight - thank you, that does help. I'm really sorry to hear about your MC. I think that the moment before the scans has been a similar (but obviously much less traumatic) experience for me. I realised how scared I was that everything wasn't OK.
You're planning a waterbirth this time around, aren't you? What put you off a CS?

i have had 6 children and my baby is due next month i asked for a elective c-section and got it
they are going to do it at 38 weeks
i havnt been told this but if i go into labour beforehand i presume i will just have to do it naturaly
and thats what scares me
when i first found out i was pg i cried for weeks just because of the labour
i considered a termination i just could not face it again
my baby does have a serious medical condition and i just want him out and safe
personally i dont think im going to last to 38 weeks
i went to docs when i found out and just said i cant do this without a section
she was great but also said its wrong to terminate on pure fear alone lets wait and see what happens
all very well for her she doesnt have to battle for the right answer
its ironic at the time i never knew my baby was going to be ill
now he is they are very happy to give me what i wanted but i doubt they would have if he was a healthy baby
im 34 wks and terrified i keep saying hang on sam you have to wait
dont know if hes going to listen to me hes a guy i doubt it ;)

Just regarding wonky vaginas... I have been described as a "helter-skelter" on more than one occasion and MWs and nurses often have difficulty finding my cervix. Can't believe I'm telling everyone this. Anyway, I had never considered that it would cause any problem with birth and to the best of my knowledge it did not. Both mine were vaginal births. I would think that the enormous power and pressure involved in contractions and pushing would straighten anyone out and make us all much the same?

To the OP, if you're still reading... before you go asking for a CS, I would seek medical advice on whether your anatomy would cause problems. Since it has never been mentioned to you that it might, I would suspect that it wouldn't. Then you can approach a consultant with a reasonable argument if it's needed. Around here, they will not do CS for reasons that aren't valid - ie there would need to be proof that your anatomy was a problem if that was the case you were setting out. As others have said, CS carries a lot of risks, so I think finding out more about your problem would be worthwhile rather than going for a blanket "book me a CS just incase" approach.

Thank you for your sensitive, informed and honest post beaufies. I realise now after my experience on this thread that it takes something like courage to admit to supporting, wanting or having an elective caesarian because of the vast number of posters who don't agree with it and say so in either a pleasant, or bullying, manner. And it did get bullying not to mention patronising. Worse still it got abusive. What is incredible is that I have seen some of the nastier posters on other threads in the past, advising others along the lines of "your body, your baby, your choice". How hypocritial. Only when it agrees with you hey

However, many thanks to those who posted in support, not just of EC's but to defend my right to 1) ask a question and b) have my own reasons which are valid to me.

No poster is an expert on MY body and whether an EC or VB is right for me or not, so saying an EC definately couldn't be, is WRONG. How do you know what is going to be right for me in the end?! TO my knowledge, none of you have seen up my fanjo!! Yet you're certain I can give birth vaginally, with no complications?! My goodness, virtual psychic midwifery!

You might have already had DC's but that makes you an expert on YOUR body/birthing plan, not mine or anyone else's!!

Every woman ultimately has the right to express preference for her own birth plan.

Many thanks also to LT, SMcK, MrsT, AtheneN and Star6 for your empathy and understanding and standing up to be counted at the risk of being unpopular. It is very much appreciated.

Thanks suzi2. I will read up on both options and speak to the relevant people as much as possible.

The reason I am starting so soon with the querying is that I don't know if it helps to make any preferences clear on your notes from the very start, rather than presenting it as a new idea at week 30, say.

Ultimately this is my first DC, I am very nervous and I am I finding out things as I go along.

Hope everything goes well for you disneystar, I really do.

for Abbymeg
sorry I missed your post -bedtime intervened!
it's not too personal at all -DS1 was breech and having been deliveredbreech myself, I knew it could be done and fought very hard for the opportunity - however I did as I was told and went in with the first twinges - bad idea! I was in early labour all night and was so exhausted that I agreed to an epidural, which ended up being very heavy because I an resistant to local anaesthetic, i was told I had to have my waters broken as I'd been 'in labour' for 12 hours - actually I was only 3cm dilated as DS was sacro posterior and trying to rotate they broke my waters while he was halfway round and he got stuck in the transverse- that was diagnosed 7 hours later at section when he'd not budged, despite synto - the poor little soul looked like he'd got a cycling helmet on, the top of his head was so flattened. the actual section was for failure to progress, my contractions stopped totally. I started the next pregnancy with no idea what I could do and thought oh christ , i'll have to have another section,until I found ukmidwifery and found out different!
I've got no bones with anyone who decides that it's not for them, as long as they have informed themselves in the most thorough way ., from thr information I found (and I deliberately looked in places I expected to be negative about VBAC - you can't just pick out what suits you) I decided that homebirth was absolutely the right choice for me, I was close enough to a good hospital, my midwife was very experienced and I'm pretty pragmatic, i had a list of reasons to transfer in mind and would have been the first to ask for it if I was unhappy in any way(as I proved in jan, when I had an APH in early labour - was in hospital within 20 minutes even though it had't carried on)
I wouldn't have missed any of my births for the world, but my fist VBAC was so much an affirmation of not being broken, I'll ever forget it

Oh dear..........what a fuss!

I am going to answer for myself if that is ok?

I was rather annoyed last night to say the very least that the op seemed to get stroppy with anyone who didn't agree with her - I have no time for that at all.

FWIW - I have been in very similar shoes to her - as I tried to explain but she didn't want to hear it.

The op kept saying that as far as she could tell the only reasons a Dr might try and talk her out of a c section were related to the cost of it etc and some of us were trying to share with her the possible risks to her baby. She did not want to hear this.

I should of buggered off at that point but perhaps that is just not my nature - I am gobby and opinionated (so shoot me).

I then said I though she was being unreasonable (ok - I didn't use that word) and said I was leaving the thread - so I don't get how I was bullying her?

Bloody hell, sometimes I wonder how some mumsnetters cope in rl - or do they quiver behind the computer screen flouncing all day

Miss D if you are there - I wish you all the best with your pregnancy and birth and I hope you get all the answers you need to make that informed choice. I also hope you manage to stay calm and happy and not get hyped up by internet chat room crap too much