Feeling so disconnected to my pregnancy

[Amyjade2022]

I feel terrible even writing this. I have no other word to explain how I’m feeling than ‘disconnected’.

I am coming up to 35 weeks pregnant with my third baby and honestly love them and feel so so grateful to be in this position but something feels off for me. I probably wouldn’t think too much of it if it wasn’t for the fact I’ve experienced two pregnancies before that felt so different to this.

I know things will feel different once the baby is here but the whole time I’ve almost not thought about the fact I am pregnant or felt a connection. When I was pregnant previously I was so invested it’s all I thought about and could really imagine the baby what it would be like etc. Initially this time around I kept telling myself it’s early days things will start to feel real soon but I’m almost at the end and it’s still not clicked. Life is obviously busier with two little ones I don’t have as much time to spend thinking about the pregnancy but I feel like I haven’t taken care of myself or eaten healthily and exercises like I did before and feel riddled with guilt im not doing the same for my third.

My first two pregnancies were very much planned and this one wasn’t (although we did talk a lot about wanting a third) so I was in shock to start with and struggled with it sinking in which may have played a part.

I also think a huge factor is that during this entire pregnancy and unusually high number of friends or people close to me have either lost babies late on in pregnancy and even one of which lost a baby a 4months old so to be surrounded by that I feel like I’ve almost put up a guard like nothing is safe this can happen to me too so don’t become attached. The anxiety is crazy.

Sorry for the really long post. I absolutely loved being pregnant in my previous two I’m sad I don’t feel the same and just wondered if anyone else out there feels this or has felt it and gone on to feel differently once the baby arrives. Just looking for reassurance :(

Thanks

I feel the same with my pregnancy, I've had a couple of miscarriages so I'm trying to be realistic but it does take the shine off. I'm not doing nearly the same as for pregnancy of my 1st in terms of supplements, exercise and rest. I'm too busy and tired to think as much about the pregnancy and indulge in the process. I don't feel too bad about this though as I knew that my 1st pregnancy would be the one to enjoy as I had so much time to feel all the feelings. I hope the rest of your pregnancy goes well and safely xx

Sending lots of love to you I can imagine it’s been tough after your losses. Got everything crossed for you - you summarised the feeling so well

Sending you so much love. It's normal to have different levels of connection with your pregnancy journey and feeling disconnected from your pregnancy does not equate to feeling disconnected to your baby. Sometimes those connections just take a little longer. And if those close to you have suffered loss recently it makes sense that you would feel disconnected, as you're trying to protect your heart. If you are feeling anxious about your pregnancy it can be great to practice affirmations, meditations ro even journal. I found a great app when I was pregnant called Carea. It has lots of articles, meditations and mental health tools and it doesn't make you feel like pregnancy has to be all rainbow and sunshine. Really recommend it if you're struggling.

Thank you so much for your kind words it means a lot and I will take it on board. I’m now 37 weeks and feeling like it’s all a bit more real now which is exciting but still have those elements of feeling anxious and not quite how I imagined I would be feeling at this stage. But I am more positive things will be okay once the baby is here :)

I had no connection whatsoever to either of my pregnancies. Only when I saw them did I completely do a flip and over the course of a few days turn into Mother Earth. It’s different for everyone.