No drinking alcohol for partner during pregnancy?

[RubyWhoo829]

My partner likes to drink far too much in my opinion. He has become significantly better over time however I do believe he has a problem and every time I try to approach the subject he shuts me down. I’m currently 30 weeks pregnant and ideally I’d have liked him to abstain from drinking the entire pregnancy as he works away in the week and is a 3 hour drive from me. He flat out refused and said he’d stop drinking closer to the time. I am 10 weeks away from my due date and tonight I tried to get hold of him for 3 hours before he answered me. He’s wasted.
This is my first pregnancy and I’ve had to make peace with the fact that I’m probably going to end up labouring alone. It does make me really sad. Is there any advice anyone can give me please? Or does anyone think I’m being unreasonable? TIA

Id be rethinking the relationship to be honest.

You can tell him babies come whenever they like and a due date is an estimate

from a mum of a 27 weeker

but you have a bigger problem at hand with a man who drinks too much and is out wasted. He don’t sound like a keeper. How long has this been going on? If you think that’s bad, he’ll be way worse when baby is here

@BigBoots67 we’ve been together for 12 years and I’ve never known him to be any different. Like I said, his drinking has improved over the years however I still feel he puts a “piss up” before anyone and anything else. And he can never stop at just one or two.

If he's never been any different in 12 years, he's not going to change now, baby or not.

Why on Earth have you stayed with this man and also got pregnant when you know full well what he is like?

Well if that's a problem for you, why did you get pregnant?

Adding a baby yo this relationship will very likely make his drinking worse. I’d cut my losses now if I were you.

He will miss the labour. And everything else. This was my dad. He never heard us crying in the night because he was passed out drunk. He never came to the school shows because he would rather be drinking. Every event was centered around a pub. I learnt how to read a room and read adults moods from a very young age, a few drinks made him happy and fun, a few more made him irritable, a few more meant broken windows, vomit on the floor, and pissing up my bedroom wall thinking it's the bathroom.
Don't do this to your child. Seriously. He's an alcoholic and if this is better than before?? I dread to think what your 12 years of marriage looks like. He needs to stop drinking full stop. Or you need to leave. You're 30 weeks pregnant.

Why on EARTH did you get pregnant with this drunken pig?

Ex-H had a drinking problem. Trying to raise two DC with someone who came in from work drunk every night isn't much fun! My advice to OP would be to walk away.

How are you going to cope with the endless nights of broken sleep and long days with a newborn and then a crawler then a toddler who gets into everything if you are also walking on eggshells around someone who is drunk and hungover?

This is a genuine question, I'm not being goady.

How is he going to be any support to you at all? How is he going to be a good dad or a good partner? How is he going to do his fare share of night wakings, bottle cleanings, shushing and rocking, early mornings, cooking, cleaning, shopping etc. If he is drunk when you need to rely on him?

What sort of message does it send to a child to see one of their parents emotionally and physically absent in their lives because they've gone down the bottle when they need their dad?

Do you understand the postnatal mental health outcomes for women with unsupportive partners and have you prepared for that?

This. I wouldn’t want to date a heavy drinker, let alone have a baby with one!