5 miscarriages, struggling whether to try again

[Tysq2]

We have one daughter but have had 5 miscarriages either before or after my daughter was born.
I had a horrific pregnancy, birth & time after birth due to my mental health and a traumatic birth, I didn’t think I was going to make it.
Since multiple miscarriages, I don’t think I’d cope going through another one but we have always wanted at least two children. My husband is ok with stopping and I agree because I need to be well for my daughter but my heart is truly breaking. I keep thinking what if next time is ok, what if the next birth / pregnancy isn’t traumatic, what if.
I know it’s extremely unlikely due to the trauma of the miscarriages, pregnancy & birth, that my mental health would be great as in the other pregnancies that ended, I was struggling with my mental health already at 5-8weeks.
I don’t know what I’m looking for here, I just feel like a piece of my heart will always be missing and I won’t feel complete.

Oh, OP, bless you. You've had a rough time of it, I'm so sorry. I've had about the same number of losses as you, all within the first 12 weeks. I can absolutely relate to how you're feeling. I have no children, although I am currently pregnant with my little miracle at 15 weeks. My very first child. I also have one more embryo remaining ready to be put back in when I'm ready. Trust in that I know how horrible all of this is.

It's a deeply personal decision to try for another, especially after everything you've both been through together. If you can find it in you to try one more time and your husband supports you, then absolutely go for it. Otherwise leave it well alone. It's a tough nut to crack because on the one hand you're saving yourself more pain, but then also depriving yourself of the chance for a second child, then the regret starts. Follow your heart but also listen to your brain and gut.

By the way, have you had investigations done? I'm only asking because you've had a lot of losses. I had an investigative hysteroscopy back in February and they found chronic endometritis. I had no symptoms, so I had no clue I had it. A course of antibiotics later and another natural attempt and I fell pregnant. It might be worth looking into.

I wish you only the best in whatever you decide to do xx💐