When do I start ‘enjoying this?’

[Ccjjc]

I’m somewhere between 13 and 14 weeks pregnant. I know it’s early days still but I just feel horrendous. I’m trying to remain so grateful that IVF has worked and so far all seems healthy with baby. However, I just feel absolutely awful. Sickness is pretty much gone but the heartburn / trapped wind / food aversions / round ligament pain is just too much. And some of that stuff I’ve heard is meant to get worse as baby grows! I can’t imagine feeling worse than I do. I’ve tried gaviscon and deflatine for stomach issues and very liberally use paracetamol for the round ligament pain but it’s very little relief.

I wake up in the middle of the night at least 3 times starving hungry, I have snacks by the side of my bed but if I eat them and try and go back to sleep, the indigestion is horrible, so I end up having to walk around my house for about 15 minutes a time at like 3am in the morning. I’m beyond exhausted because of this! I start work at 6.30am for 12 hour shifts and I feel drained and dead while there. I’m literally holding on so hard for maternity pay but it’s a struggle.

I wanted this so bad but some days it feels like I can’t cope and wish I didn’t even bother. Obviously I’ll be devastated if anything were to happen but it’s hard to remain positive when I’m bent over in stomach pain.

I hardly ever get ‘unwell’ - maybe once every few years i’ll get a cold and that’s about it. So maybe I’m just not used to coping with it feeling like my body is against me. But how are people coping going to work or having other children? You’re amazing. I can’t work out if I’m just pathetic or not.

Again, not sure what I need to hear or why I posted just needed a moan maybe.

Second trimester is usually better when most women “enjoy”. Hold on for another week or two. Hugs to you 💕

Omezaprole for the heartburn, gaviscon isn‘t enough.
Eat a high protein snack before you go to bed and see if that helps with the hunger.
Regarding work, are there any accommodations they could make for you?

It's hard to feel like it's enjoyable when you don't actually have the baby you want yet. If it never feels enjoyable that is fine! Don't feel guilty but because it was wanted for so long. Even when the baby is born you can also feel both exhausted and out of sorts but also thrilled they are here. Both can be true so don't worry if you don't feel like you're enjoying it. It's miserable feeling sick!

Sorry, but pregnancy is not enjoyable. I know some people “love” it, but I’m pretty sure they are the outliers. I have easy pregnancies and I still hate it, it’s only worth it for the baby at the end

Both my pregnancies were a bit tougher in the first trimester (without sickness), were fine in second trimester (you may get there in a couple of weeks), then awful towards the end.

But yes like PP, sorry to say that pregnancy is not always ‘enjoyable’ and i didn’t identify with anyone who said it was.

Get lots of pillows and sleep with your head and chest raised as much as you can. I feel your pain OP, I did not enjoy being pregnant and had IVF babies too. When your baby arrives though it will be so worth it! Congratulations

Pretty sure I only had a few enjoyable moments in pregnancy. Had all day sickness for the whole time I was pregnant, high BP which did not help with the sickness. Drank so much gaviscon for the heartburn it was ridiculous 😅 definitely all worth it for my DS though😊 hang in there, you'll either start feeling better or you'll just get used to it. It will 100% be worth it when you hold your baby😊

Honestly yours sounds like a pretty hard pregnancy. My first trimester was easier than that, and I still didn't like it.

I don't think anyone should be telling you to "enjoy it" when it's so clearly not enjoyable (except in a theoretical, "going to have a baby eventually" way).

One of my friends had a truly terrible pregnancy (hyperemesis gravidarum) and she said that her early weeks with a newborn (which everyone warns you are going to be hard) were actually like a lovely holiday for her because she didn't feel so ill any more. So I guess at least this is a temporary thing and you can look forward to a time when you won't be pregnant any more!

I hated pregnancy - esp my final one after several losses. I felt so guilty for hating it after everything we went through to get us there, but I did and nothing changed that.

My only advise is -
Gaviscon on prescription from the doctor
Keep moving with the ligament pain - I found mine was worst if I sat still or didn't move alot
Pregnancy pillow or pillows between your legs at night. Also lots of pillows for your head to help with the heartburn
I avoided eating after 6pm in the end - the heartburn outweighed the hunger for me.
Sleep as much as you can - I pretty much went to work came home and slept as much as I could.

Pregnancy can be awful and it really winds me up the way it gets romanticised. You don't have to enjoy it, OP, and you're not pathetic. Having a baby is a huge, life changing event, and this is how it starts. Feeling awful, learning to cope with that, and with your body changing and your life changing. Rant and moan away, the honesty is good for you!

If you are anything like me and lots of women in the world you might not enjoy it at all! Thats fine, some people love it but others don’t! I hated every minute of it, but having my babies made it all worth while! I enjoyed it once they had been born but before the birth not at all! Hope you start to feel a little better soon!

I had good months in the middle!

I hated being pregnant and did not enjoy a single minute of it. I have carried to term twice, and the second time was twins. Having a newborn and then twin newborns was so much easier than being pregnant. Everyone tells you how hard having a newborn is, but honestly, I had no idea that being pregnant could be so hard. Hand hold. Look after yourself. x

Apart from dreadful sickness for most of the 9 months, my two pregnancies were fairly easy and straightforward. However I absolutely hated being pregnant and felt uncomfortable and out of sorts the whole time.

Fortunately for me it was absolutely worth all the discomfort etc and I would have liked more had circumstances allowed. So think ahead to the wonderful time when you first hold your baby, and all the fun you will have with them as they grow up!

I only really started enjoying it when baby started kicking and when we went for scans. Other than that pregnancy is a mess of sickness, lack of sleep, worry and just being uncomfortable. Mine is an IVF pregnancy too, and I've felt guilty about how I feel aswell! You're not alone.

The second trimester is the most “normal” you will feel, probably. Pregnancy isn’t enjoyable for a lot of women; you aren’t being pathetic. I wish they didn’t sell it as some kind of magical experience.

100% this!

I also had easy pregnancies, but tbh they weren't easy! People just use that term to mean no excessively bad symptoms or health issues, but it massively reduces the changes you'll experience imo.

The hardest thing for me was having no motivation and feeling so lethargic all the time. I just didn't feel like myself.

I genuinely preferred newborn tiredness to pregnancy tiredness

Most of pregnancy is not enjoyable. I found the 1st trimester hard, 2nd mostly hard and im guessing the 3rd will be harder 🤣

But I enjoy having a bump and feeling him move. Thats about it 🤣

I don't think "enjoy" is the right word. I didn't enjoy being pregnant and was quite ill with HG in the first 18 weeks. It was the never being able to get away from it, the never ending feeling of slog, that I struggled with. 9 months is a long time and I am not the most patient of people ....

In case it helps I absolutely loved the newborn phase. Yes I was tired and all the rest of it but I was so thrilled with my daughter who was the absolute apple of my eye and so delighted not to be pregnant any more, that none of the sleepless nights and sore boobs seemed to matter too much ...

It can't have been that bad as I did it all again 18 mths later with my son - again didn't enjoy pregnancy at all but at least this time had the experience of knowing it would be over - and also I had a toddler DD so I just had to get on with it - which is hard, but kind of also makes it easier, in a difficult kind of a way.

Wish you all the best, the end will come!

I didn't enjoy any part of pregnancy except the anticipation of having a baby in the future.

I was hot, large, sick, sore, and uncomfortable for the whole thing.

I actually enjoyed pregnancy but I genuinely dont know anyone else who did! And I still had bad heartburn and felt unwell. It’s ok to accept that pregnancy isn’t fun and is a means to an end. Remember this is time for you to look after yourself as much as possible. Milk it if you need to and talk to your GP about any help for side effects.

Just wanted to say that not enjoying pregnancy can be totally normal, and every pregnancy is different, don’t fall into the trap of feeling like you’re doing “worse” than another pregnant woman when actually you’re having two totally different experiences.

My daughter is nearly 18 months old and her pregnancy was HARD, I didn’t really enjoy it, and despite us always wanting a small age gap I was really worried about how I would cope going through that again with a toddler. I’m now 7.5 months pregnant with baby number 2 and genuinely have LOVED this pregnancy- it has been a complete different experience to my first.

I am going to be honest when I say that for me I never fully relaxed and “enjoyed” my pregnancy. I had lost 2 babies prior to conceiving my son and if I wasn’t sick with HG, I was worrying about my baby passing away. I had awful anxiety the whole time and never fully relaxed. I hated scans, appointments and I certainly did not have a baby shower.

There were definitely times of excitement but these periods would last a few hours rather than the whole day.

It is hard when people tell you to relax, enjoy the process etc. especially when you’ve been through trauma with IVF etc.

The second trimester between 16-24 weeks were the best for me.

I hated pregnancy up to about 35 weeks with my daughter. Hyperemesis in the first trimester and third trimester stopping easing off about 34 weeks stopping by 36 weeks. Felt awful through the second trimester not helped by having injuries from a fairly bad car accident.
With my son I barely felt pregnant until about 32 weeks when everything then went to hell and then I spent the next 5 weeks in and out of hospital until they decided to induce me at 37 weeks as my body couldn't take any more.

Pregnancy is hard on your body, hard on your mind, just hard. My mum has always been open about hating pregnancy so I've never had that romantic view of pregnancy. I had two miscarriages in between baby 1 and 2 and had hyperemesis with both of them and whilst I was upset the pregnancies had come to an end there was relief that I would no longer be struggling with pregnancy symptoms.

I didn't enjoy pregnancy at all. I had HG and it was just generally shit physically. Love having my baby here but hated the journey. I will say - I think you're going through enough, an IVF journey and then a pregnancy where you feel rubbish physically. Don't beat yourself up because you don't think you feel grateful enough!! Hope it does get better for you x