F*** I’m pregnant again

[Autumnishere2025]

I have just done a pregnancy test which had a BFP. I have 3 kids nearly 5, 3 and 1.
My DH and I are happily married and we have a good income, have a big house, nice cars, go on holidays a few times per year. We both have fantastic careers, although I have been cruising for past year for the kids or so but remain senior.
We have suffered so many MCs in the past so our babies were all very much wanted, planned and very much loved.
Since I had my 3rd I did have a longing for just 1 more and my DH was on the fence. We didn’t really plan this out but obviously weren’t too careful. I did not expect this so soon as I haven’t even had a period since my 3rd, I’m totally shocked.
Now I’m in this position (DH is away at work for 3 days) my mind is just jumping to wondering how the f* am I going to cope with 4!!!
I am about to go back to work in 3 weeks time and will be embarrassed to finally tell them I’m pregnant again, not that my personal life is of their business, but still.
Where do I start? Should I tell my DH while he’s away or wait til he comes home? I know he will become very stressed by this. He wouldnt put any pressure on me to terminate.

Aghhhh!!! Any advice please…..

I'm confused by this - baby is very much wanted, sounds like you could financially cope with another baby, supportive DH etc. What's the issue?

Haven't you already posted this tonight?

Sounds like you wanted another baby and were having unprotected sex at least some of the time so it’s not exactly shocking news is it? You can also afford another baby and have a supportive husband, it’s not the end of the world. Good luck for the future OP

'We didn’t really plan this out but obviously weren’t too careful.'

Tell DH when he gets home, it'll give you some thinking time to get used to the idea and get over the shock.

Don't worry about work; I went back after maternity leave already five months pregnant, it worked out fine.

Your circumstances sound OK for introducing another baby and it sounds like you want to go ahead - so, congratulations!

The issue is the chaos of 4 and coping. Yes everything else in the background is fine, but I want my kids to have a good upbringing and not feel left out.

He shouldn’t be too surprised. You both know that unprotected sex can lead to pregnancy.

Sounds like this is a planned pregnancy. Tell your DH whenever, if you've been having unprotected sex he won't be surprised.
4 is a lot, of course it will be chaos. It's why most people don't have 4.
And of course work won't be thrilled if you're barely back from your 3rd mat leave in 5 years, but as you say, none of their business really.

It sounds like a planned pregnancy on your part. I hope your husband wont feel duped.

I had four kids with the same age range and loved it. All kids were healthy and we could afford cleaners and babysitters etc which obviously makes a huge difference. It was lively when they were young but they were all mellow kids. I didn’t work which helped. I loved having the kids so close in age. My kids are adults now and are very close to each other.

Well our youngest are age 2x2 age 3 and 2x4yearolds so we have 5 under 5 plus teenagers lol and quite frankly we love our organised chaos :)

Tell him he's got nine months to get the snip.

Find out how pregnant your are, if you haven't had a period in a year you maybe in for a surprise.

Why would it be a surprise for either of you if not using contraception?

I'd get a scan ASAP to see how far along you are and tell him when he is home.

Not to scare you, but the older you are the more change of twins you have. A friend lost a tube, multiple MC's and rounds of IVF and was told she'd need donor eggs. She got pregnant naturally, then when baby was 3mths old- found out she was pregnant with twins!