Feel weird about "announcing"

[Cluelessasacucumber]

Am I the only one who feels this?

For various reasons we didn't anticipated being here, we are delighted but lots of other feelings too. 13±5, manager has known for a while as i needed adjustments. Since 12 week scan have told handful of colleagues for practical reasons, 2 close friends partly because it'll impact plans this year. I plan to tell other friends as and when I see them later this year.

We told parents at the weekend and made it clear we didn't want anyone else to know at the moment. They were understanding but we still ended up having to spell it out that not telling anyone including aunts, uncles, cousins, old Doris down the road who always asks after you etc... These are people I don't speak to more than once a year, if that.

It's not even the risk of loss, although of course that's a worry, it's just I don't get why the most significant, personal thing in our lives has to be publicly broadcast. I hate the idea of my pregnancy being "news" shared in an all staff email, or down the village shop with randoms I haven't seen since I was 12 and couldn't pick up out of a line up. I want my husband and I to choose if and when and who we share this next step in our lives.

Does anyone else feel this way or are we just being weird?

I have friends that announced at (what I think is) a ridiculously early stage, 6 or 7 weeks. They then spoke of nothing else for 8 interminable months.

We keep pregnancies to ourselves until 20 weeks each time. I managed to not tell the eldest until I was 36 weeks! And then we just mentioned it in passing. I hate any form of fussing or attention seeking. And I can’t stand pregnancy bores.

I find your whole viewpoint rather strange but of course we are all different. I it would be useful to remember is that you will very soon have a baby and shortly after that they will be a toddler then a child. They will be a huge part of your life and impact every aspect of it for the next 18 years. You won't be keeping it all entirely private. You will likely at some point need to rely on the goodwill of your colleagues when you need to take emergency leave for a sick child or call on a relative for a favour when you are exhausted and need a break or even a neighbour when you've forgotten something and you need their help. If you want a "Village" to support you then you need to share your baby with them, let them be excited and invested and want to help you.

I always felt awkward telling anyone so much preferred it when people who knew told other people to save me the trouble. I never wanted anyone to be deliberately kept in the dark or to make any kind of big deal about it.

I told people whenever it came up in conversation so I could make it as undramatic as possible. So a few people knew pretty early because they asked why I wasn't drinking. Waiting till a certain time would have made me cringe even more.

I told close family and friends, and have said I don't mind who they tell. Day to day I don't really tell anyone, I'm at the point now where it's becoming visible anyway so I let people just conclude themselves. I also find it very personal and a strange thing to just come out and say to people. When I have the baby then of course I'll say "I have one child" if asked. But while they're a part of me it feels as strange to have to tell anyone really.

I have always told friends and colleagues first as I've found them to be more supportive and less pushy of their feelings and agendas so I get support and have people to talk about pregnancy with, without having to deal with overly gushy relatives. I tend to get hyperemesis and had two miscarriages and there were a few people who were really good support.

When I was expecting my daughter I did make an announcement at 16 weeks to my grandparents and my mum's side of the family but this was only because my cousin had taken over my grandma's 90th birthday party to show off his new kitchen and I thought new baby trumps new kitchen and my grandma was thrilled! I only told my parents and sisters earlier the same day. We told friends after the 20 week scan

I have just had baby 2 and told my family at 16 weeks, a few friends and colleagues between 8 and 14 weeks, other friends ahead of seeing them and the rest after the birth

Everyone is no different so no judgement either way but I really get how you feel! Having gone through ivf to get our first positive pregnancy test in 2.5 years (I am just 7 weeks) I have no intention of announcing it at all… I feel so anxious and it feels so personal and special to us. I also found pregnancy announcements really hard while struggling to get pregnant ourselves so I have no interest in adding my own to the mix. Lovely if people are excited for us when they find out as and when (though I would prefer this to be after the hopeful safe and healthy arrival of said baby!) but I certainly am not expecting anyone to care that much about us hopefully finally reproducing too! I have other things to talk about than that.

I hated it too. It was a mix of feeling attention seeking, announcing we'd had sex, and not wanting to be treated differently especially at work. I ended up enormous so it announced itself by 6 months.