Did anyone spend years trying and then it happened when they just relaxed or is that a complete myth?

[CheshireMum1212]

Any stories of falling pregnant when stopped trying completely?

Yes, someone I did pregnancy yoga with tried for years and lots of failed Ivf until successful ivf at 41 then age 45 conceived naturally accidentally after giving up on trying for a second with ivf failing

I think any attempt to link causation to the correlation of sometimes “giving up” trying results in pregnancy is foolhardy. When you’ve not got time in your favour you have to “try”; if your cycles tend to be unpredictable you have to track. The glib “have you tried ditching everything and just shagging” advice can be infuriating.

I actually know quite a few people this happened for, including two women who had stopped after years of trying waiting for their IVF appointment and had to cancel the appointment due to a positive test. It is frustrating when you are trying to conceive though because it almost feels impossible to stop & relax.

It happened to me with my first after trying for over a year then going on holiday and completely switching off from tracking ovulation etc.

now 16 weeks pregnant with my second after taking a break from ivf after having 2 ivf miscarriages back to back. We were getting ready for our 3rd transfer and although I hadn’t tracked ovulation the month prior, decided to try low dose aspirin ‘ just incase ‘ and fell pregnant without any help !

Ps we had been trying for 3 years for our second hence ending up having ivf.

We were trying a couple of years but because I'm already under endocrinology my consultant referred us for testing fairly early on. We were told I wasn't ovulating and DH had a low sperm count, and the doctor didn't really need to explain that with no eggs and very few sperm, there would be no baby in the near future. We arranged a follow up in 6 weeks to discuss next steps. I cancelled it because I was pregnant.

It’s not true because you only hear about the ones who do rather than the hundreds who don’t but… I can tell you is what happened to us. Unfortunately not everyone gets together young and my partner and I didn’t start trying until I was 40. He already has a grown up child so we didn’t qualify for any NHS help and had to go it alone once the usual tests etc had indicated there was nothing actually ‘wrong’.

We tried everything. All the supplements. I have pee-d on so many sticks over the years and we’ve had so many ‘discussions’ about the pressure of sex to a schedule etc etc. Last year we spent hundreds on a Mira monitor and the super techy sticks, so I know my cycle inside out.

Towards the end of last year we did the online stage one with our local adoption service. We decided if it hadn’t happened by my 45th birthday (this month) we would pursue adoption.

Between February and April I lost 2 stone (my BMI was high). I got out of the habit of taking folic acid because my brain just thought there was no point I guess. I then read that you were better having sex the day before your peak rather than on the peak. We had sex three days before and the day before but it wasn’t really planned; for once it just happened and we both really enjoyed it. I took a youth group on an outward bound trip, plunged into cold water, walked miles.

I just knew I was pregnant. I can’t explain it but the positive was not a surprise when my period didn’t come.

Unfortunately there isn’t a happy ending as I miscarried. I am old and fat and knew we were pushing our luckt. The waiting was awful and the pain afterwards was terrible.

At the moment I don’t think we can go through it again, but it’s all very recent. The consultant who carried out the miscarriage procedure encouraged us to try again now we’d done it, as lots of people conceive again quickly. But I don’t know. In my heart I think we’re too old now and adoption is probably the way. But I will always take heart from the fact we did manage it!

Much as I really, really hated people saying, just relax and it will happen, it did eventually happen that way for us… We spent 4 years TTC and were about to start fertility treatment - appointment booked - when I became pregnant. When I rang to cancel the appointment and told them why, the person I spoke to said, this happens all the time.
Good luck to anyone on the journey… it’s not an easy one. x

I mean I did get pregnant the cycle after we had our first fertility clinic appointment (after 16 months of trying) but was still trying so I’m not sure it counts.
DD2 then took 12cycles.

I think it’s all pretty random in the end. This last TTC journey was prompted by a surprise pregnancy/MC when I’d been a bit flaky taking the pill. Then 3 years of nothing, followed by falling pregnant- then miscarrying again - exactly 3 years to the date of the first MC. Then I fell pregnant again 3 months later with a stickier one - currently 20 weeks.