Very overweight and pregnant 🤰 feel very sad at being size 20 and I need to lower my bmi, please help

[Judgejudysno1fan]

Im a size 20 and in the early stages of pregnancy. I'm not due to mid next year.
I just did my BMI and it's above 40. I'm also only 5ft2. And I feel vile. I dont have a very fat face, I am naturally curvy but it's no longer comfy curvy, feel like i have gone up two dresses sizes after last baby and I was a happy size 14 before my first baby.
I want to be able to lose weight in a healthy way and eat better.

I feel pressure In my chest when walking.
I struggle with pushing the double buggy up hill and am breathless walking. Even though im not even walking that fast.

I walk about 8 miles a day but apart from that I am not that active and dont eat very well. I dont really eat much fruit and veg. I do eat a lot of carbs and drink fizzy drinks probably 4 days a week, like half a litre. My biggest problem is chocolate and biscuits. Literally love them. But today I ate 5 timeouts and 2 clubs and 4 cookies and the sugar content has made me feel quite sick. I shouldn't have done it but I bought the kids snacks and wanted a treat for myself.

The kids eat good a mix of fruit and veg and balanced meals. I think eating less and trying to be more active but how can I do this safely while pregnant???

I'd like to lose a lot of weight in order to achieve a water birth. And also have my weight down when I go for my first booking appointment as my bmi now is significantly more than before I had my last baby.
My husband loves me as I am and has never said anything negative about my body. But when I saw myself on the video he made of the kids, I looked fat and dreadful.

Help!!!!!

I think you probably need to change your diet, not go on a diet. Ditch the biscuits and fizzy drinks. And up the greens. Lots of other obvious stuff. But as you’re pregnant I don’t think you’d be advised to drop calorie intake? Certainly not below 2000.

Cut the fizzy drinks, they are so bad for you plus your teeth. That will make a big difference. It sounds like you know your diet is poor, only you can change it. Be careful or you’ll end up with diabetes/gestational diabetes. Start with small changes and I’m sure you’ll notice an improvement: the steps are great though, keep that up! Good luck!

Have a chat with your midwife as any health advice you get on here may not be safe in pregnancy. In general though (tired but true) you can’t exercise your way out of a bad diet. Can you cut the sugar? If you’re talking about those large bakery cookies, that’s 2,000 calories right there. 8 miles isn’t going to walk that off.

I bet your midwife could refer you to really specialist support with this. I really admire you for wanting to make a change and I hope that you find a way to feel empowered- but also not stressed x

This.

Eat better - focus on nutrition for you and your baby and your existing children. They need you to be healthy too.

Walk lots. Up slopes if you can. Slightly out of breath is fine. Look up safe pregnancy exercise and see what strength exercises you can do. Pregnancy yoga too, and Swimming.

Congratulations on your pregnancy. There is a lot of internalised fatphobia by society and by medical professionals (not that there aren’t additional considerations, just that they aren’t always what they seem). Have a look at the heavyweight midwife and the plus sized birth book by Sara wickham for some actual evidence and support.

You can lose weight whilst pregnant if you're overweight to begin with. Just no dramatic diets. Cut out the junk, few easy swaps, keep walking.

I buy really fancy, expensive treats. A posh boxe of chocolates to last the week and that stops me gorging on them rather than a cheap multipack.

Congratulations on pregnancy! It’s good you’re looking at getting healthy. How to do it? I’d speak to your midwife for signposting to the safest way to manage weight. Also I’d lower intake of first drinks and chocs/sweets. Not easy I know!

I ended up losing weight while pregnant because I developed Gestational Diabetes and had to move to a low carb, high protein, high fibre, moderate fat diet. It is possible to lose weight healthily while pregnant but it’s incredibly important that the focus be on nutrition rather than weight loss.

You need to eat enough calories to support the development of another human being. Babies will take every bit of nutrition they need from your body even if that’s at the detriment of you, so if you go really low calorie and don’t get enough vitamins, minerals, fats etc then you’re hair, skin, teeth and bones will be the first thing to suffer, then your organs.

Work out how many calories you need make sure you have a rich and varied diet that includes all the major food groups, choose complex carbs like wholegrain options and when you do have carbs pair them with a protein or fat (peanut butter on toast, cheese with apple slices and so on).

Also walking is fantastic, one of the things that makes the biggest difference in my sugar levels is a 20 min walk after a meal. It was also strongly recommended by my midwife for building strong thighs and mobile hips to help with labour.

Thank you kindly for all of your responses and advice. ❤️

Lots of helpful things. The basic ‘don’t have it in the house then you can’t eat it’s does help some what!

Also, your kids (especially if young and still in pushchairs) don’t need things like twirls and cookies. You need to change the way they snack too. I’d they see you eating nuts, veg, fruit etc then they will see that as the norm and grow up with a healthy attitude.

The kids are small various ages from preschool to high-school ages and they eat a lot of fruit too.

I put on 30 kg with my first and 20 with my second. I was HUNGRY all the time. Took me a year to lose the weight with no diet. Just ate normally. I don't think you should put any pressure on yourself when pregnant. Deal with that afterwards and enjoy your chocolat !

Ive gone from wearing size 16 to size 22 clothes (more because i refuse to buy maternity clothes🤣)
This is literally the biggest ive been and im blaming that on pregnancy!
Im starving constantly! I'll eat fruit and veg and love it but secretly will also love chocolate and biscuits😬
My breakfast in a morning is cocopops because thats the only breakfast that tastes remotely nice to me!!
Im 30 weeks pregnant and i have seen a huge difference in my weight and my partner has been a huge difference in his weight too!
But we've decided not to worry about it until baby is here and then we will make a start on being 'healthy' and lose the weight.
I know i can lose weight easy if i put my mind to it! I lost 4 stone 4 years ago, of course i put it back on being in a healthy relationship.
Start slow, dont do anything drastic if you are going to start and be healthy.
Add more fruit and veg to your diet baby will thank you for it!

Also just to add i had a lucky escape with gestational diabetes. I was fully expecting to have it and literally asked my midwife to check again whether the numbers were right!

If you do need further health advice, please seek this from a medical professional!!

I take my hat off to you wanting to be healthier for your baby!! Good luck x

Try not to worry
But it's good you want to be healthy for your baby
With my first baby I was a size 20
With my last baby I was a size 28
I had 2 more babies sizes in between those
Two water births no issues,no complications
But I am vegan and although very fat I did exercise
I don't advocate having a baby at any of those sizes ,but my healthy diet and regular swimming must of kept the wolf from the door
I was consultant lead for the last two children,but it was literally the consultant popping his head round the door while I was in labour to just say hi .

Fat women can and do have babies ,and worry just adds to the stress
It's not ideal,but it happens
Just do what you can op to eat well and exercise x

It's your diet.

In pregnancy just try and hold the line vs loose weight.

Id aim for 5-10kg total gain in pregnancy and to establish better habits.

Bin or stop buying all the biscuits and start meal planning. You do NOT want GD and the sugar won't help.

Simple things:
up your water
Sort your breakfast out and eat thesame nutritious thing every day (we now do yoghurt, chai seed, flax seed, frozen berries and granola or hugh fibre cereal on top).

Eat a proper family dinner- shepherds pie, spagbol with veg in sauce, 7 veg pasta sauce and pasta with chicken, pasta bake, baked potatoes etc.
I have an extra portion of frozen veg (steam bags or frozen peas are just a few mins in the microwave)

Check out sarahcattersoncoaching on insta. She does a lot about eating in the real world - i found her tips on snacking are very helpful.
She recommends pre planned cal controlled snacking.

Double down on food once baby is here. You have a year.

Slimming world is approved for pregnancy by the Royal College of Midwives. You could start there for some support? They’ll certainly encourage you to up your fruit and veg. Plus maybe the group mentality and being around others who get it will help?

congratulations on your pregnancy!