Ex-partner during pregnancy

[Lookingforadvice101234]

Hi, posting here just looking a bit of support
My ex partner split up with me towards the end of my first trimester of pregnancy. He has said he wants contact with the baby when they’re born.
I am near the end of my 3rd trimester, I have just found out he has a new girlfriend, who he’s been with for a couple of months.
Has anyone navigated a similar situation?. My main focus is completely my baby right now but it’s hard not to think about the other side of things.
TIA

Do you have funds for any private home tuition?

Do you have the capacity to home ed?

Edit wrong thread

First of all. Have a sit down to establish boundaries.

My son’s dad and I did this. Gf was to have no involvement. Shared calendar to establish contact time. No overnights for the first 6 months- this ended up being 2 years by his choice.

I said he could be at the birth but if I wanted him to leave the room he had to.
Agreed on a name together and child maintenance. Also agreed to split large expenses- uniform,trips, furniture etc
Keep it business like. No emotions and no drama- that’s what is best for your child.

First of all. Have a sit down to establish boundaries.

have we read the same OP? You think this man will do this, and stick to it even if he did?

Im really sorry you are going through this , surley he could have had the decency to not get involved with someone until a routine with the baby etc was established.
Also ive seen men completely crumble wants baby is actually here and in their arms then want the mother back(be wary of this as you will be really vulnerable).
Are you actually not too bothered he has met someone or are you wondering how things will pan out with access? X

Thank you. I would never ever rekindle a relationship with him so the new relationship hasn’t bothered me too much, it’s more how he’s gone about it. Posting all over social media pictures of them together at various social events meanwhile I’m at home expecting my baby. He hasn’t contributed a thing to preparing for the baby.

Yes its very insensitive and shows how weak and selfish some people can be.
My sons biological father was a complete narcacist who tried to pitt every one against each other for his own strange reasons.
As pre-emptive as it may seem ,I would consider getting some legal advice regarding custody etc and maybe get something in place. I dont know this guy so he may be perfectly reasonable but it doesn't hurt to get something proper in place so he doesn't try any nonsense with access or custody etc.
I was too laid back initially with my sons dad and allowed him to be wishy washy regarding access as I liked his family and they made excuses etc etc.
When he met his now ex partner (she soon realised he was an idiot), he started telling her a load of nonsense about me that i still want him ,didn't allow access and other silly games because I had been so laid back with communication and access it was my word against his.
If I had my time again I would of kept all communication via text or email. I would of set really strong boundaries regarding access and behaviour during access (He let my son down so many times).
I would of kept his family at arms length and again communication via text or email.
I would of had a proper court order in place regarding access.
By me being wishwashy and trusting it caused my son amd I issues further down the line.
Don't let any of his family or he hoodwink you.
By the way mine was an extreme case and your child's father could be an ok guy
Just read and take what you want from it.
My instincts are that he could be a bit of a berk as posting a new bird all over social media when you have a baby on the way is very insensitive.
Do not under estimate people.
Good luck x

My ex did the same. We split up not long after I found out I was pregnant, he spent months saying he wanted to be involved and i was fine with that, he then met someone a couple of months before I gave birth...and we haven't seen him since. The woman was aware of me and of the situation at the time. This was a few years ago now. He now has a family with her and has never acknowledged my (his) child's existence.
Some men are total trash and we're better off doing it without them.