1st time pregnant and really don't know what to do. . . .

[babyabroad]

I am 8 weeks pregnant, feeling absolutely exhausted and sick, I havent been to the doctors yet - when should I go?

go now, and he will make a booking appt for you with the mw

Congratulations

If you lived where I live you should go asap in order to get your choice of hospital - very tricky here. And also to get your first scan set up, which is VERY exciting and make all the exhaustion and sickness feel worth it! But the first visit to the doctor is a total anti-climax and it is just for the hospital bureaucracy that you need to go and it may well be that where you live there is no need to get booked in early.

Very best of luck, babyabroad!!

I went to NHS doctor to let them know I was pregnant straight away when I found out. They said I did the right thing and talked to me a bit...answered questions. I also see a GP privately and he saw me from the beginning and always answers my emails/phone calls with questions or concerns (for free since I pay for visits). It's worth looking into that if you would like that personal attention and only ends up being about £40 per month.

Will go first thing on Monday - thank you;

Living in rural France and so worried as no other mums to be that I know of in my area to speak to.

Hi,

Once you know the due date join one of the antenatal threads- I am sure you will meet lots of mums to be on there. Although not "real life" it can be really helpful and someone is bound to know anything you want to ask!!

All the best

Message withdrawn

babyabroad, where in France are you? The system in France is a bit different from in the UK. Do you have any ideas about how you want your birth/antenatal care to be (it makes a difference to what you do even at this stage).

I had ds in France, chose midwife led care (most commonly here it's obstetrician led) and a home birth. To get this I had to do a fair amount of research up front, as if when I called a doctor they told me they would only see me if I was willing to commit to giving birth under their care in the hospital of their choice (I hadn't even met this obs before!).

Childbirth in France is normally very medicalised, giving birth on your back, episiotomy as standard, high rates of epidural and formula feeding as standard. If you are OK with this then your care can be very good I believe. If you want something different then you can get what you want but you just have to be a bit clearer about what that is and not let yourself get bullied into what they want to do.

Congratulations on the pregnancy!

Agree you should join one of the antenatal threads. Also you could start a thread in the Living Overseas topic - there are a few mums on here who have been through pregnancy and birth in France. Congratulations and good luck

In the Limousin in France ib. Very 'new' to this but would probably like to have a waterbirth, I would definitely like a preganancy as free as possible from prodding and poking, lots of aromatherapy and as natural as possible. Preferably at home - phobia of hospitals! Is that possible in France?
I don't want to be in the doctors every week if not necessary. I am also quite big on dealing with the same people throughout rather than being passed from pillar to post.
Will also join an antenatal thread - think mn is going to be very helpful!

Yes it is possible in france (I had one) but you have to be very stubborn determined about it.

www.ordre-sages-femmes.fr/bases/annuaire/lib/annuairelib.htm

If you put your postcode/department into this site you can get a listing of local independent midwives. They can do all your antental care (whatever the doctors tell you). A few if them will do home births, the rest attend births in hospital. If you want to have a water birth it may need to be a home birth, as few hospitals will support this.

As there aren't that many midwives who do home birth you may have to phone more widely to find one - the one I eventually found was over an hour away from me in another department! But she was willing to cover a wider area.

I would phone around your local midwives and have a chat about what you want. If you don't get a good feeling call someone else. Ignore anyone who tells you what you can or can't do - they are not the kind of person you want around when giving birth anyway.

dessine.moi.un.bebe.free.fr/association.php

I phoned these guys and they were very helpful but not in your area so I don't know whether they will know anyone around you.

One thing to bear in mind is that you have to send in your declaration de grosesse by about 13 weeks to get the benefits going - your midwife can sort that out for you. Other than that there is no huge rush - your nuchal will be at about 12 weeks but you shouldn't experience any delay getting an appointment (we had our first appointment within the week and that was in May which seems to be one continuous bank holiday in France.

Feel free to get in touch for any questions/support/if you need a rant - having been through it I'll be sympathetic!