Early pregnancy anxiety

[kitkat2024]

Hi ladies,

To my absolute shock and disbelief I got a positive pregnancy test today - 2 weeks post conception I think. I genuinely thought it would never happen for me. I feel such a mix of emotions - happiness, excitement, joy, fear, worry and anxiety.

All of my friends and acquaintances have 1+ child and over the years I have heard of miscarriages, chemical pregnancies and even one TFMR although lots of successes too of course. I can't get a scan to check if there is a heartbeat for another 6 weeks. How do I navigate this? So much to potentially be excited for but also so much can go wrong. I have noted my anxiety on my maternity self referral form but if anyone else has any advice it would be greatly appreciated.

I’m not sure how healthy or practical this advice is, but honestly? I’ve been trying to distract myself as much as possible, mostly by streaming every episode of The Good Wife on the channel 5 app 😅

Distraction is what I'd say too! Focus on eating as well as you can (nausea permitting), and staying hydrated. Take vitamin d and folic acid if you aren't already. Outside of this, continue with life! Early pregnancy is hard, just keep telling yourself the stats are on your side and 75% of pregnancies end in a live birth. Fingers crossed all will go well for you x

Haha thanks both, anxiety of not conceiving is now transferred onto having conceived! I also find my mind leaping forward to bump growing/telling people/having my baby in my arms etc. need to take one day at a time! X

Haha thanks both, anxiety of not conceiving is now transferred onto having conceived! I also find my mind leaping forward to bump growing/telling people/having my baby in my arms etc. need to take one day at a time! X

@Moosey898 @Geriatrixiahow much do you talk about it with your partners at this stage? It’s all I can think/talk about but I think my partner might need a break 😅

Hey OP. I have a 1yo DD now, but struggled significantly with OCD and anxiety whilst pregnant.

I was obsessed with things going wrong, and compulsively googled miscarriage, genetic disorders, etc.

The best advice I had is that you can't control the outcome of your pregnancy, outside of the obvious like not drinking. If something is going to to wrong, it will go wrong no matter what you do. So it's better to just accept you don't know what will happen, and to enjoy your pregnancy, as anxiety won't change the outcome anyway :) Practically, I tried to keep very busy, especially in the first trimester, where my hormones really made me feel quite mentally ill.

@kitkat2024 my situation is a fair bit different to yours as I've had recurrent losses, but I speak to my partner quite a lot about it. I also use this forum and spoke to a few trusted friends in early pregnancy that I know would never judge me or tell me to just stop worrying x

OP why can’t you get a scan for another six weeks? If you’re 4 weeks now (2 weeks from conception) then you could get a private scan from 7/8 weeks. Maybe even earlier although I wouldn’t advise it. Do you have private scan places near you?

@Ladamesansmercithank you so much, I am obsessively talking to chat gpt about what type of folic acid is best to take 🫠 I do need to let go. I feel like I didn’t sleep at all last night - a mixture of excitement and fear.

@Moosey898thank you, I wish it was the done thing to tell people about early pregnancy - there would be so much more support if things went wrong. I’m so sorry for your losses and I really hope this one works out for you.

@Edenmum2yes I have private scan places near me but I thought a scan from 7/8 weeks might not show a heartbeat so would be better to wait?

At 7 weeks you should be able to see a heartbeat. Definitely by 8. Give them a call and they will talk it through with you 👍

@Edenmum2oh thank you, so maybe only 5/6 weeks to wait, will definitely speak to them. Seems like an eternity at the moment though!

@kitkat2024 I 100% support women advocating for what they need during early pregnancy, however that looks for you. More people are telling friends and family sooner because they need the support. First trimester can be rough both mentally and physically and honestly it's the time I needed the most support.

And thank you - I'm keeping everything crossed this one works out!

Just popped in to say hugs, I had a pretty rough journey to my 2 now healthy teens and it’s so vivid those memories of the waiting and waiting - good luck and all things being equal you’ll be trying to remember next year what it was like to have a good night sleep and a hot cup of tea….. it’s all transient though, so try not to let it be a thief of excitement

@Moosey898 I often wondered where this ‘not telling anyone for 12 weeks’ rule came from as it always seemed to me that more support would be needed during the earlier stages.

@chunkybearthank you, it really is a ‘thief of excitement’ - there is too much info available these days on what can go wrong. I need to stay off chat gpt!

the earliest I can get a scan is end of September - the Friday before my best friend’s hen weekend. Can’t decide whether to go ahead and book it. I’d like the reassurance but if it’s bad news I will really struggle with the hen - everyone going already has children and best friend’s sister who is going is pregnant. Not sure what to do