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Original poster

Boss being funny about antenatal appointments

56 replies

Kingsley25 · 26/08/2025 21:36

Just a rant really...

After finding out I was pregnant I ended up in hospital with a threatened miscarriage, so I had to tell my employer about the pregnancy so that I could go to my urgent scan appointment during a working day.

I have since had other appointments out of working hours including a scan, but I have another booked next week. It's smack bang in the middle of my shift and she has said for me to work in the morning as she is off (which is fine) but said to leave 1 hour before which isn't enough time for me to get to the hospital appointment in time, so I asked her if I could leave 1hr 30 mins before my appointment as 1hr isn't enough time.

She then told me I was asking for too much and that it isn't fair on my colleagues (which i understand, but i didn't make the appointment time) and everything i have seen relating to time off for appointments says you are allowed reasonable time for your appointment including travel time and waiting time. If I left with just 1hr to get there I would be rushing and wouldn't get there in time.

I have a feeling she isn't happy with the situation at all, but she is so difficult to talk to. Am I being silly? But I dont want to feel uncomfortable for another 8 months. Can she say I'm asking for too much? I was only asking for enough time to get to the hospital.

Thank you for reading.

OP posts:
DeliciouslyBaked · 26/08/2025 21:46

Your antenatal appointments are protected by law, including travel to and from the appointment. I suggest reading up on your rights on the Pregnant Then Screwed website or the ACAS website, and if you still cant get the time approved, be prepared to escalate to your HR team. It doesnt really matter how your manager feels about things - the fact is that you have the right to attend your appointments.

At our hospital, once you've had the first appointment, the next one is made whilst you are there, so you might be able to book for early / late in the day, which might help ease things with your manager.

SometimesUnsure · 26/08/2025 21:48

You are entitled to the time needed. My union rep told me my boss can't dictate what's 'reasonable', although I think there might be some timeframes if you research it. Its unreasonable of your boss to expect you to do the impossible. If you are in a union talk to your rep, if not do a bit of research and point out to her what you are entitled to. I was meant to go back to work after a scan but we had to wait and see the consultant so I never made it back. Work totally understood that it was out of my hands and people had to step up for cover (not the kind of job where my absence could be ignored).

BritishDesiGirl · 26/08/2025 21:50

You have an absolute right to attend your appointments, unfortunately appointment timings might not always be convenient .

Also I've never changed one that I've been given , you might be able too but if you can't then it's something they have to accept.

BritishDesiGirl · 26/08/2025 21:51

** waiting times also vary don't expect your appointments to be on time and likely they could run over

MMC1529 · 26/08/2025 21:54

You 100% should talk to HR about this because by law you're entitled to attend all antenatal appointments during work hours.

My work are really accommodating and don't mind if they're last minute or not I assumed with it being a legal thing all work places would be the same, sorry your work isn't as understanding! X

OverlyFragrant · 26/08/2025 22:05

Ask her in writing to confirm she is denying you the opportunity to attend your antenatal appointments.

Forgottenname · 26/08/2025 22:06

So in 4 weeks you’ve had multiple appointments and scans?

MidnightPatrol · 26/08/2025 22:09

How many appointments have you had, given you say you have 8 months to go…?

How many have been NHS appointments vs private scans?

Lavender14 · 26/08/2025 22:11

Forgottenname · 26/08/2025 22:06

So in 4 weeks you’ve had multiple appointments and scans?

Irrelevant - op has the right to attend any antenatal scans or appointments as needed. I had a subchorionic hematoma also threatened miscarriage at 4 weeks and at that point was having scans after nearly every bleed so by 8 weeks I'd had 3/4 scans. Plus then a gp appointment.

I personally bled so much that I ended up off work for a period due to the nature of the work I do but if I was in a different role I could have continued with some adjustments.

The impact on colleagues is not ops concern that's for her manager to sort out.

Are you in a union OP? It would be well worth joining one as this sounds like it could start to border into discrimination.

Forgottenname · 26/08/2025 22:13

MidnightPatrol · 26/08/2025 22:09

How many appointments have you had, given you say you have 8 months to go…?

How many have been NHS appointments vs private scans?

That’s what I’m wondering
4 weeks pregnant
2 scans already
another scan booked
multiple appointments

I didn’t even know I was pregnant at 4 weeks!

Forgottenname · 26/08/2025 22:13

What would 2 scans have shown at less than 4 weeks

Forgottenname · 26/08/2025 22:14

genuine question, if there is a threatened miscarriage at 2/3/4 weeks… what is a scan going to do?

OverlyFragrant · 26/08/2025 22:16

Forgottenname · 26/08/2025 22:06

So in 4 weeks you’ve had multiple appointments and scans?

Some women have medical conditions warranting multiple appointments. It really isn't that unusual.

nocoolnamesleft · 26/08/2025 22:16

As long as they’re all NHS antenatal appointments, your right to attend is protected in law.

Forgottenname · 26/08/2025 22:20

nocoolnamesleft · 26/08/2025 22:16

As long as they’re all NHS antenatal appointments, your right to attend is protected in law.

Where does it say that it HAS to be NHS?

JungleRun21 · 26/08/2025 22:22

You are entitled to reasonable time away from work for antenatal care.
This includes NHS based appointments so routine scans, midwife appointments, consultant care, blood tests (if done outside of your standard midwife appointments).
Early scans, before 12 weeks carried out at the Early Pregnancy Unit for emergency reasons are also included as antenatal visits.
Private scans arranged by yourself for reassurance are not basic antenatal care so should be done in your own time.

I had numerous appointments before 12 weeks due to pain and resulting scans and admissions for IV fluids because of dehydration caused by Hyperemesis.
Ive had a very complicared pregnancy with multiple appointments to midwife, consultant, fetal medicine, childrens hospitals in london as well.
My boss hasnt said a word and has just been hugely supportive, even telling me tontake extra time when results havent gone as we have thought.

Lucysstuff · 27/08/2025 06:26

Lavender14 · 26/08/2025 22:11

Irrelevant - op has the right to attend any antenatal scans or appointments as needed. I had a subchorionic hematoma also threatened miscarriage at 4 weeks and at that point was having scans after nearly every bleed so by 8 weeks I'd had 3/4 scans. Plus then a gp appointment.

I personally bled so much that I ended up off work for a period due to the nature of the work I do but if I was in a different role I could have continued with some adjustments.

The impact on colleagues is not ops concern that's for her manager to sort out.

Are you in a union OP? It would be well worth joining one as this sounds like it could start to border into discrimination.

Show quote history

@Lavender14 what would multiple scans for a threatened miscarriage before 4/5 weeks pregnancy achieve?

Original poster
Kingsley25 · 27/08/2025 07:07

Thanks to everyone who has posted on here.

I am currently 7 weeks pregnant now, the reason for 2 scans so far is because the first one was urgent so I was referred to the early pregnancy unit at my hospital, I have had bleeding too but all my observations are good and my hormone levels are rising so they just want to keep an eye on me and make sure baby is still there and okay.

My boss isn't refusing my appointments but said I was asking too much to be leaving 1hr 30 mins before my appointment. But travel time is at least 30 mins and theres road works on the road to the hospital plus parking takes ages as its busy at that time and the ward is at the other end of the hospital from the car park. I wouldn't say I'm asking for too much, just enough time so that I'm not rushing and that I make my appointment on time and they usually call you in 10 mins before your scan to talk to you etc.

When I said I had an appointment for next week she said it would have to go down as sickness to which I said it wouldn't as its antenatal appointments. Then she said 'I dont think so'. So to be honest I think she needs to read the company's policy anyway, which I already have done, plus its the law anyway.

Thank you for reading.

OP posts:
rwalker · 27/08/2025 07:17

I think the issue is she’s not refusing the appointment but think an hour and 1/2 is excessive for an appointment at a hospital 30 minutes away

JungleRun21 · 27/08/2025 07:43

My local hospital is 20min or there abouts from work but the parking is horrendous and they offer a 1 in, 1 out system.
Last time I went it took 40mins to get parked which was a bit of a joke.
It made me late for my appointment but then pretty much everyone after me were also late due to parking.
My boss was accepting of this because she too takes ger children to this hospital and understands the struggles.
Maybe explain it to your boss and when you need other appointments, try to schedule them early in the morning or late PM where the parking will be easier?

Lucysstuff · 27/08/2025 07:47

Yes I agree with boss

it is 30 mins away and the boss will know that
and you’re asking for 90 mins

and then you’re returning to work or straight home?

Coffeeandcrochet · 27/08/2025 07:54

I've had to take my son for multiple appointments at our local children's and maternity hospital. It's a 20 minute drive but you need to leave at least an hour to get parked. One time I left an hour and still sprinted in on the dot of my appointment time as I couldn't get parked. It's not served at all by public transport from where I live. I completely get where you're coming from and your boss is being unreasonable.

cheesycheesy · 27/08/2025 08:03

Lucysstuff · 27/08/2025 07:47

Yes I agree with boss

it is 30 mins away and the boss will know that
and you’re asking for 90 mins

and then you’re returning to work or straight home?

Why do you agree with the boss? She needs to trave to get there

Lucysstuff · 27/08/2025 08:14

cheesycheesy · 27/08/2025 08:03

Why do you agree with the boss? She needs to trave to get there

Show quote history

Because if it’s 30 mins travel
I think allowing 90 mins it’s overkill
and that also means the op heads straight home after scan? So it actually marks the end of the working day for the op is suspect

sashh · 27/08/2025 08:28

Keep a record of everything your boss says, you will have a nice little pay out from an employment tribunal.

You are entitled to the time off OP it is irrelevant what others do / don't do.