Scared of Tearing

[calebsmum]

Am expecting DC2 any day now and am sooo scared of tearing. With DS I needed an episiotomy and I have quite a bit of scar tissue, midwife has told me I more than likely will tear. Have been rubbing in sunflower oil but everything feels so tight down there. Had an epidural with DS so thankfully didn't feel anything till the next day, those who didn't have an epidural do you feel yourself tear?? How bad is it??

You won't notice of you do, it will be at the point the head is coming out and if you haven't had an apidural, one tear will not be the cause of any pain you are in.

calebsmum I've never given birth before but I wish you luck and hope all goes well!

Is a water birth a possibility? I'm sure labouring in the water was a big factor in my not tearing during birth of dc2.

I had a tear - can't remember if second or third degree, but was having a ventouse at the time so pretty numb 'down there' at the time . It was quite big, but healed really well and wasn't any trouble when sensation came back. I've heard that tears heal better than episiotomy - not sure if that's true or not.

Tore with both of mine (2nd degree) - didn't feel it either time (in fact, with dd I was totally & utterly confident I wouldn't have torn, as I was completely in control & birthed the head uber-slowly. Unfortuntly the silly moo was trying to come out hand first )

No real problems with either tear - few stitches both times. There's definately some scarring, but it doesn't have any effect.

iirc, water birth helps, as does midwife supporting the perineum. (sure lulumama or something more informed can tell you more)

I've had three births, torn and cut with the 1 and 2, just cut the last time. I never felt it - that I can recall and it's all healed up fine. 3 is it for me though - there's only so much embroidery you can take

I had a forceps delivery with DD1 - big time episiotomy.

Only a graze with DD2.

I was just as fearful as you are!

I tore internally but didn't feel it at all when it happened, it healed in a couple of weeks

fp exactly the same as me, hand caused tear!

I tore - didn't feel it as such, just felt the normal pain of crowning. Only knew I'd torn when the midwife started getting out needle and thread.

Had a few stitches and was all healed, as Wonderstuff says, in a couple of weeks.

I'm no expert, but I don't think you'd feel yourself tear. It's possible that you might think 'this crowning seems a bit painful' but I daresay you'll be thinking that anyway!

Good luck with it all.

I've has episiostomy first time and tear second( nothing third) The tear was by far the least painful and healed really really quickly.
Don't worry. Second birth will probably be qicker too.

some things you can do to help prevent tearing: give birth on all fours as this opens up your pelvis and gives your baby the most space. try not to push too hard, let your body do the hard work. ask the midwife to monitor very very closely as the head is crowning and do as she says when she tells you to stop pushing. i tore very badly first time (3rd degree, although as pp said, you don't feel it at the time - it was only when i was being asked to sign consent forms for the spinal block and wheeled into theatre that i realised how bad it was) and i was terrified of it happening again, so much so that the first page of my birth plan was all about how i wanted to try and avoid it! i did all the above and got away with a graze

I was exactly the same as you, I had a bad second degree tear with DD1 and have a fair bit of scar tissue, was terrified of tearing with DD2, she was 3lbs heavier than her sister and I had nothing (well felt a bit sore down below for a day).

I believe the key was more experienced MWs I had also written on my birth plan about tearing again and they slowed everything down rather than with the first where I just pushed like hell.

Didn't feel myself tear but the stitching wasn't nice.

i tore mildy with all 3, but no stitches. No idea why, maybe I am slack in that area , but with all 3 I drank buckets of yucky raspberry leaf tea from 35 weeks and did millions of pelvic floor exercise before hand. all the midwives said I had very good PF muscles - but I don't know if that helped. I didn't feel myself tear any of the times, but was scrupulous about tipping a jug of warm water with a drop of lavender oil in it every time I went to the loo afterwards for about 2 weeks and had lavender oil in all my baths and I healed very quickly - after ds2 was back on my bike 2 days later.

yes, positions!

am eternally grateful to mears the midwife who mentioned giving birth on fours or on your side.

for me, i felt best on my fours and the midwives were more than happy to accommodate this.

oh also, I hated pushing and had to be forced to do it everytime, again, maybe tha helped

If i have an epidural i won't feel any tearing, right?

I had an episiotomy with DS1 and a very very small tear with DS2 that never caused me any discomfort and with the recent DD I had a reasonably significant 1st degree tear (very quick labour which took MW by surprise), but today is day 9 and I can honestly say that it hasn't bothered me. While in hospital for the 4 days afterwards they were giving me some very mild pain relief - paracetamol, anti-inflammatory etc, but I did take with me some Arnica Pillules to take internally which is supposed to aid with healing.

I would recommend that you just focus on the positives and the end result of happy healthy new baby otherwise your fear could mean you go over your due date or have a longer labour than you might otherwise - the mind is a powerful thing.