In denial

[123shan20]

Hi all,

sorry this may go on quite abit but I honestly feel so alone but I’m my own enemy as I don’t like talking about my pregnancy to anyone and I have never been like this with my other 4 pregnancy’s it’s really unlike me I found out I was expecting a 5th baby back in February it was a complete and utter shock and I did plan on having a termination I couldn’t go through with it so here I am at 26 weeks and I still haven’t told my other children or even my parents I hide it from everyone I don’t like talking about it I struggle even talking to midwife’s about it it’s like I’m still in denial I’m pregnant has anyone else felt like this? I honestly never have I’ve been struggling mentally and cry every day I haven’t brought anything for baby I think I just felt so overwhelmed thinking I can’t do this again and I keep thinking I’m going to fail like how will I take care of 5 kids I just keep thinking so negatively I’m under the mental health team of midwife’s and my midwife literally doesn’t bother with me at all I’m also having therapy and all sorts I just wanted to ask to see if I’m not alone being like this ? I think as I set myself up to not have baby and not going through with it I’ve struggled to come to terms that it’s going to happen now if that makes sense my mood is awfully low constantly and I just want to lay in bed most days so unlike me. If anyone could share if they have felt the same I would so appreciate it :) thank you

Also to add I don’t know why I don’t want to tell my mum especially, I keep thinking she will think oh my god how are you going to do this and she will worry about me now I’m thinking she will be upset I didn’t tell her sooner

Not the exact same situation but just want to say you're not alone in feeling this way. This was a very much wanted pregnancy for me but the fear of losing it has meant I've not connected at all so far with the pregnancy and I don't talk as if a baby is coming etc. I think a lot of people feel in denial. I don't have any advice and it seems like you're under the right teams to be getting help already, but just commenting to say you're not alone in your feelings!