Struggling with pregnancy after loss

[Anxious24]

I lost a baby at 13 weeks not that long ago.
I’ve just found out I’m pregnant.. I’m terrified and quite low. I keep wanting the baby that died. He was a gorgeous little boy

I'm so, so sorry for your loss. Just to help understand, you were 13 weeks pregnant, or the baby was born but died at 13 weeks?

Either way it's absolutely understandable that you'd be anxious this time around and that being pregnant again just brings back memories and feelings about the loss. I wonder if you feel counselling may be something you'd consider?

I lost the baby at 13 weeks pregnant it was horrific haemorrhage at home and so so ill

Hi I understand completely. I lost a baby girl at 19 weeks and being pregnant again has been absolutely terrifying 😞 I'm 11 weeks now and I'm dreading hitting the point that I lost her, I don't know how I'll cope!! The hospital has been very good at looking after me though, I had reassurance scans at 6, 8 and 10 weeks and they're referring me to something called the rainbow clinic where they'll offer extra support. Maybe your local hospital has something similar? Sorry not much advice but you're definitely not alone in this

I lost my previous baby, at 18 weeks pregnant, in January. I gave birth at home, it all happened very quickly.

I had counselling through a local charity which started in April, I had just found out that I was pregnant again and it really helped me to talk to someone about all the anxiety but also all the trauma of the previous loss.

Do you have a bereavement midwife? Some trusts have them and they can be very helpful, mine isn't, but my community midwife is amazing. Due to having a second trimester loss I am also under consultant led care, which means from 16 weeks I have been seen by a midwife and consultant every 2 weeks and given a scan every 2 weeks.

This baby doesn't replace the baby we lost, but it has healed a part of my heart. I have had a lot of anxiety around the pregnancy but I feel like everyday I feel less anxious. I am now 21 weeks and feeling baby move.

I would advise looking into counselling if possible but also contacting a midwife ASAP so you can find out what extra support your trust offer for rainbow pregnancies. My trust has a rainbow clinic (which for some reason I am not under, but I am very comfortable with the team I am under so I haven't made a fuss). Some trusts offer early scans and more regular monitoring.

Those early days are so difficult so please do reach out to your GP for support if needed. Make sure you have people you can talk to. I really hope your pregnancy goes well and you start to find some comfort in and healing on this journey.

So sorry for your loss and wishing you all the best for your current pregnancy. There are some great suggestions above, if you also wanted something you can do at home or while you’re waiting to access other things I found the book ‘Pregnancy After Loss’ by Zoe Clark-Coates useful in similar circumstances.

I keep taking pregnancy tests I’m going mad fearing it’ll be negative