Ectopic pregnancy and dealing with it.

[Tink1993]

Hi,
I don’t know if anyone will see this and to be honest it’s more of a place to express.

last Friday I went to hospital with pain and bleeding only to find out I was pregnant and either having a miscarriage or ectopic pregnancy… I was admitted to hospital and had my scan Saturday morning and found out it was a ruptured ectopic pregnancy in my right ovary and needed emergency surgery.
they saved my life with the surgery and I am grateful but I didn’t realise or think about the emotional effects of it until after the fact.

i went from finding out I was pregnant on Friday afternoon to having emergency surgery and the pregnancy and fallopian tube removed in a 2.5 hour long surgery Saturday morning. So really didn’t have time to process anything. Honestly I think I’m struggling more than I thought I would. This isn’t a search for sympathy more of a place to blurt it all out.
if anyone reads this just know physically im grateful they saved my life because i have 2 beautiful babies but i dont really have anyone to actually talk to about it.

sorry for the long post.
thanks for letting me vent.
much love x

I’m really sorry OP, you’re right that is a lot to process in one hit

How are you feeling at the moment?

I’m very up and down. Physically healing well but emotionally exhausted

Physically healing emotions are up and down

That’s understandable, it’s a real head fuck situation. Remember anything you’re feeling is allowed. Sadness, grief, relief. There’s no “right” way to feel here

I’m glad you’re recovering well physically x

I’ve been in the same situation as you and I also had the surgery to remove my tube. How you’re feeling is totally normal. I think it actually took me a few months to process what had happened to me x

I know you’ve said ‘this isn’t a search for sympathy’ but please know it’s completely okay if it is!!!! You deserve all the sympathy and compassion. It’s an incredibly tough and awful time. Be kind to yourself and don’t be scared to reach out for help, there are charities (Tommys is great and there’s a dedicated Ectopic charity too), speak to your doctor if you feel you need to.

My ectopic was treated with methotrexate so a different experience. I’m now pregnant again with a baby very much in the right place.

You are not alone and you will get through this, just try to take each day as it comes and muddle through the best you can.

Firstly I just want to say thank you so much for the out pouring of love and understanding.. I think everyone will understand when I say no matter what situation we have all experienced It’s normal to feel completely alone but this has brought me a sense of comfort and community. I never imagined anyone would reply and honestly I love that I’ve had the virtual reassurance and cuddle from you all ❤️

Just adding some more sympathy, it’s just a head wreck to think of terrible ‘what-ifs’ and I’m sure even more so for you if you didn’t even know you were pregnant, I’m so sorry.

I had surgery for an ectopic pregnancy a couple of days ago which I thought was only 4w+6 but actually turned out to be 6w+2 with hcg through the roof (34000) so completely reeling from the fact that a small bleed that I noticed potentially saved my life. That’s what is messing with me the most, as sad as it is that I lost another pregnancy.

i really hope you get the support you need OP, and it sounds like there’s lots of us on here who understand what you’re going through xx

I had no idea I was pregnant. Luckily I’ve got 2 beautiful sons who are 1 and 2 so I’m blessed with them but any loss is a loss even if it’s unexpected or unplanned x

Hi everyone,
it’s been about a month since my surgery and finding out I was pregnant and sorry for the TMI but I’ve just started my first period after the procedure and I took my pregnancy test a couple of days ago and seeing the negative results were very bitter sweet.. I don’t think I really realised how long this emotional process was going to last.
im physically healing great but emotionally feel like its going to take a while x

i didn’t know I was pregnant and according to my papers I was around 10 weeks and had no idea… at the time I didn’t process it as a loss but as time is passing by I think I’m realising I lost a baby. I’ve got 2 beautiful sons and I think that makes it harder because I’ve seen what could of been and now I’ve lost a fallopian tube and a baby and it’s just a lot to deal with especially as a single mum too. 1 & 2 year old x

I’m so sorry OP i had 2 ruptured ectopics and ended up losing both tubes. I think the hardest thing with ectopics compared to miscarriages (and I have had a lot of miscarriages too) is the element of needing life saving surgery as well as the removal of something fundamental to fertility like your tube. That something as wonderful and natural as being pregnant can risk your life - I very much struggled with the thought of leaving my child motherless and had PTSD for some time after. What helped me was joining some ectopic support groups and I met a lovely friend on one who we still speak 5 years later - it helped just to talk to someone who ”got” it who understood the fears and worries
it will take time undoubtedly - I think for me I dealt with it by throwing myself back in to TTC both times which is hindsight left a lot of unresolved feelings but may not be applicable to you if you aren’t planning to TTC x

I wasn’t and I’m not actively trying for a baby if anything I was trying to avoid it I was taking the pill when I got caught this time… however that doesn’t take away the fact that I was still pregnant and lost a baby. And I think it’s harder because I’ve already got my 2 babies so I knew what could have been. I know believe after going through what I’ve been through that at no matter what stage or circumstance a pregnancy is at it’s still emotionally a rollercoaster xx

It’s been months now but I’m still going through the process of the loss that most people don’t understand xx