Pregnancy mid 40s (pros + cons)

[Sunnyperfume]

Not pregnant yet but thinking of trying for another. Currently just turned 45 so if all goes well I would be having baby at 46 years old. I'm aware of the possible issues with conceving, etc but I'm looking at the pros and cons of actually having a baby at that age. Does age affect the baby (during pregnancy or once born)? Do the scans usually pick up on all the issues that can occur? Does a baby in mid 40s impact your relationship with your partner? I know having a baby is always lovely but, realistically, would it be too much mid 40s?

The scary numbers are not a given. I’m 43, currently 17 weeks, my NIPT came back as low chance for all trisomies, and my combined test came back as 1 in 2400 for Down’s syndrome. This is despite my age and my eldest daughter having Down’s syndrome (I was 32 when she was conceived).

That said, this TTC journey has taken 3 years, with 2 early MCs and a CP along the way….

In my experience, it's not as straight forward as a pregnancy when younger but conceiving is certainly not impossible. I had a surprise pregnancy last month (I am 45 too) and sadly just miscarried. It's always heartbreaking regardless of age. Now I've had two MCs it's become more unlikely I'd have a successful pregnancy going forward but H and I were willing to go for it had it been viable. I'd booked early testing (NIPT) and would have had to have been monitored more closely. I was also honestly worried about the health risks to myself and what would happen to my other DCs in case something bad happened. Even though I wanted to keep it, I personally won't try again because this pregnancy and MC have been so very stressful, exhausting and painful even though it was still early (7.5 weeks). I am now grieving the fact that my childbearing years are finally over because I don't feel I want to take those risks again- but no medical professional has told me it would be impossible should I want to give it another go. You will have to gauge the risks for yourself taking into considerations your health and other circumstances.

Exactly, your own health is so personal to you. There’s no age related one size fits all scenario. This pregnancy at 42/43 has been very easy so far - no nausea, no infections, all tests have come back fine. I had my 16 week MW appt and she found the heartbeat on the Doppler immediately. I’m quite tired, but much of that is probably (SEND) mum life!

I had ds at 45y2m.

Positives for me - mortgage almost paid, career established, salary reasonable, savings in place. Much calmer and more confident due to my age.

Negatives - mostly people's judgey ill mannered comments.

The reality was I had an easy pregnancy (no nausea, just a bit tired). Natural birth at 40+6. A slow labour and needed help right at the end. A perfect ds weighing exactly 8lb, now 17yo.

Despite becoming a single mum when ds was 3 (my decision), raising him has been easy. He was an easy happy child, and I negotiated childcare etc without many issues.

My only age related action - I had an amnio when my downs risk was calculated as 1:25.

Those are baseline risks. My risk at 42 for a baby with a chromosomal abnormality was <1/400 on proper testing. Age of the man comes into play also. It's not higher risk just because you're older yourself.