Gender disappointment

[Fliss89]

Before I start.. I really do know how lucky I am to be having a healthy baby after 3 miscarriages and a tfmr, I went into this knowing full
well it was 50/50 either way and could never understand gender disappointment until now.. so why on earth since I found out we’re having our 2nd boy do I feel like this?
I feel like I’m really grieving the fact I’ll never have a daughter. We’ll be at capacity with two kids and also due to previous losses and age I just know I can’t go through this again, it simply wouldn’t be worth the gamble. Does this feeling go away? Of course I’ll love this boy no matter what but I think I wanted a daughter more than I cared to admit to myself.

Almost certainly the disappointment will go away. You're allowed to feel blessed for having a second child and disappointment at the gender. All I would say is that a lot of women romanticise about having a girl - but it isn't necessarily a better experience than a boy. When they arrive you will soon become a mum of 2 boys and wonder how you ever thought of anything different!

Also - be prepared to get some pretty sharp replies on here for a thread about gender disappointment for having a boy.... Just a warning x

It is true that you won't have a daughter. But if you had a daughter, you wouldn't have this specific lovely boy! I bet when he is an adorable toddling 1yo, you will find the sadness of never having a daughter pales into insignificance against the idea you wouldn't have him!

I was the same... found out I was having my second boy and I sobbed, was so upset. I think for me it's because I know this is our last baby so there was that grief there that I would never experience having a little girl. I always wanted one of each... however you do get past it, I promise. But allow yourself time to be upset about it. There's nothing wrong with feeling like this.

Once you have gone through the motions of feeling upset, the excitement really does kick in 🥰

I think its ok to be sad and acknowledge that if you could you'd ideally have one of each. It will pass and the excitement of a new baby will kick in. Try not to feel pressured into not feeling how you feel because if it becomes a problem later it'll be its own barrier to asking for help/talking about how you feel. I have 4 boys. I'd be lying if I said I didn't hope DS4 would be a girl but we got 4 very happy and healthy boys and I wouldn't change any of them.

I have a boy and i just think he is the most adorable thing. If I were to have a second boy I would be over the moon...brothers ! Congrats 🎉. Your disappointment will fade for sure xx

not 'a' boy, 'your' boy - who you will adore. It's fine to be sad that you might never have a daughter, but the excitement of getting your lovely boy will override it entirely. Congratulations.

I'm currently going through this exact same feeling. But I feel like I've grieving and didn't realise how much I wanted a girl until I found out I'm having a boy. I'm glad I'm not the only one.