DP didn't apply for paternity leave...

[Mum2BeRants]

I just need a space to rant really.

Due date in 4 weeks and we've already found so much around the admin of pregnancy problematic. My claim for maternity allowance is still not fully resolved after applying as early as possible and spending hours on the phone to HMRC and DWP. Then there's the 9-month 30 hours not really kicking in at 9 months..

And today DP discovered that the deadline for paperwork he needed to do for paternity leave was 11 weeks ago face palm. So a new thing to stress over.

I don't really want posts about how this 'doesn't bode well' or criticising DP. I'm just frustrated and feel these things keep happening to us. There's so much to take in and do when you're expecting a baby.

He's very regretful over not looking into it further and realising he had to do this and it wasn't just a case of arranging with his line manager a few weeks before like annual leave or sick leave.

I know everyone at his work knows I'm pregnant (I hear him updating them all on every Teams call) and he must have first mentioned it first at about 12 weeks, along with his intention to use the 2 weeks paternity leave. I'm frustrated that no one, especially his manager, said anything to him about the forms.

It's also absolutely bizarre to me that I couldn't even start my claim for maternity allowance until after 26 weeks... yet his deadline for applying for a fortnight of paternity leave was 25 weeks. And he had to supply a copy of my Mat B1 which I wouldn't have even had...

Lesson learnt. Hopefully his employer can do something, although I realise the application is now incredibly late.

Absolutely dreading what the next thing we're going to discover we should have done is...

Just commenting to say thank you for posting this because we would also have not known you need to apply. It makes perfect sense saying it out loud but we've been focusing on my employer not his!

Can’t he book two weeks holiday when you give birth and then use the two weeks paternity later? They don’t have to be taken together, or right after birth.

This really isn’t as stressful as first appears.

The deadline is 15 weeks before the due date I believe.
https://www.gov.uk/paternity-pay-leave/how-to-claim

Oh shit. Really? Ignore me then. He will just have to use holiday, OP.

You’re very welcome! We had no idea there was such a formal approach to applying either!

As an aside comment OP remember the 30 free hours a week isn’t actually 30 a week unless you only need your nursery place term time, if you need it year round then it works out as about 22 hours a week.

You can also use tax free childcare on top if both eligible!

Giving his colleagues and line managers the benefit of the doubt they may not have known the process if they haven't had to do it themselves or have assumed that it was already being dealt with by HR. When I was going on maternity leave right up until the final couple of weeks all my conversations were with HR and I only looped my colleagues and line manager in at the end when I had finalised a date. My partner has sorted his paternity leave with HR a while ago but is only just starting to discuss it with colleagues now at 33 weeks and only because I'm now not likely to go to term so he is needing to clear his diary of important meetings for the month prior to my due date having previously cleared the month after my due date assuming I'd give birth some time around 40 weeks.

One thing that is poorly publicised about the funded hours is that they don't kick in at 9m, 2y, 3y but the term after they reach the appropriate age. It's particularly harsh for those who meet the age criteria at the start of term especially those in the summer term who can turn 9m or so on just after Easter and not qualify until September!

Hopefully he can get something sorted in time!

Just to say I work in HR and I always process late paternity leaves. It is so common that the line manager is aware and the forms just come in late. He told his manager well in advance and then you have to let them know 28 days before the dates he wants to use. He has up to 1 year to take these dates.

who has said he is not allowed to take the paternity leave ?

Can I ask about your application?

All I did was hand my MatB1 to HR. Someone at HR sat me down and showed me an example calendar using company mat leave, statutory and then accrued holidays, so they very much knew my intentions.

Was there something else I was supposed to do? I’m now panicking at 33 weeks! I have t spoken to HMRC at all.

Second this! Definitely get him to talk to whoever he can. I always turned a bit of a blind eye to late submissions, or played the ‘as a manager, I forgot to put it through so it’s my fault but we need to get him paid’ card.

Obviously down to company discretion still but it’s worth having as many in person, ‘sorry I didn’t realise, is there anything you can do?!’ Conversations as possible as if it’s automated it may be rejected anyway, but there’s normally some kind of override an understanding manager can make!

Don’t forget to claim child benefit once little one has arrived. If income too high can still claim but pay it back through tax return, or state you are eligible but don’t claim the actual money, helps fill gaps for NI for your state pension

The speaking to the HMRC will be to do with the maternity allowance which is for those that don't qualify for statutory maternity allowance. If you are in work and getting statutory or enhanced maternity packages your company will be dealing with it. If you are on maternity allowance you have to do more of the paperwork yourself. Passing on your mat1B form to HR should be all you need to do, but it never hurts to send off a quick email asking if it's all sorted and if they need anything else from you!

He can still take paternity leave. The 15 weeks is a guideline only. Think of all the babies that arrive super early or cryptic pregnancies etc. As long as his manager is kept in the loop and payroll are aware it’s coming and then notified when you have the baby that’s all it takes. Honestly, don’t overthink it.
Agree about the term after 9 months being an utter pain, especially if you have a baby turn 9 months in early May for example but funding doesn’t start until September. And as a previous poster said, the “30” hours is 30 hours TERM TIME. So likely to be less if you put baby in year round.

The maternity allowance process is because I’m self employed. I’m assuming you are getting maternity pay from work which I think is much simpler but I’m afraid I don’t know anything about that process.

I’m not sure if it’s just a guideline for his work / most places it seems to be a fairly firm deadline unless there are extenuating circumstances e.g. cryptic pregnancy.

And if the baby had arrived super early that would have also been ok as it’s more a rule of applying 15 weeks before the due date rather than 15 weeks before you need to take the time off.

Hopefully they’re lenient though, we’ll see what they say!

That’s promising to hear!

No one has officially told him he can’t have it yet. And he’s done the paperwork now just very late! It just says on all the paperwork / guidance that the deadline is 15 weeks before the due date.

Ah thank you! That will be it!

I hope your partner’s company has some flexibility for him. Good luck!

Don’t stress - he will still be able to take it. His work will need to do the paperwork but he is legally entitled to it. What about all those poor families who go into labour really early etc.

It’s a nightmare navigating it, you just don’t know what you don’t know. Also if it makes you feel any better, we did this with our second after doing it once already 😂 you would think the workplaces would be more on it tbh. I saw a girl go on MAT leave once having done none of it too haha.

I see a previous posted made valid point of child benefit, don’t leave that too long either as I think can only be backdated 3 months.

It’s just guidlelines I promise. I’m saying this from experience as I used to work in payroll. We always processed paternity leave late. Believe it or not even maternity leave when managers forgot to tell us sometimes until the woman was going off.
MA is more complicated because you’re doing it directly, but his employer is processing this through their payroll process and it can be done whenever really.

Tell him to go and soeak to someone at work. I'd approve his paternity leave if i could get cover. If not he needs to book it now at first possible date.
Paternity leave was entirely flexible where I worked ... babies can come early or late.

We allow men to take their paternity leave even if they apply well after the deadline. Hopefully his employer will be reasonable.

This comes from experience - IMO if he has paternity leave later it’s better.

first few weeks babies do nothing. Sleep constantly. You’re in a haze. But friends visit etc. husband off then and he’ll think it’s a holiday for you. and your baby will be too little for you to want to go places

c2-4 wks they find their voice and it becomes a whole lot more difficult.

if he has paternity leave when baby if eg 4 or 4 months old it will nicely break into your mat leave, be v helpful, could be an opportunity to go somewhere nice etc plus he’ll see the hard work