Am I stupid for being pregnant at 39?

[Sadblonde]

So a year or so ago I was in a new relationship and fell pregnant… my partner was less then supportive and I felt forced to medically terminate, this is a decision that has haunted me daily totally changing my life. I was studying to become a vet nurse and my daughter was about to sit her GCSE’s exams. I’ve not really being trying to get pregnant but I’ve also not being trying not to. Here I am 3 months gone, I’m almost qualified and can possibly qualify before baby is due. My partner isn’t that happy but today I told my mum, she was horrid, told me I’m too old, embarrassment nasty personal
comments about my partner (he has minimal
hair)… she then asked if it was his and told me how she wished she’d never had kids and won’t be having anything to do with me. She’s never being a nice mum but this felt feral! Am I stupid for getting into his, my heart has honestly broken.

How dare your mother make you feel ashamed. You’re not the first and won’t be the last and this definitely doesn’t make you stupid.

My dad made me feel like this because I had my children quite close together and he thought that was wrong. I no longer see him.

I had my first at 26 and my last at 39 (last one with second husband). All planned. My kids are 18, 15 and 5 and zero regrets. Our daughter is my husband's first and last and very much rules the roost 😄

Then he gets to shut the frog up.
You guys got pregnant, you had an abortion. He STILL didn't use protection or get the snip. He has NO right to complain HIS sperm went and penetrated your egg which was just sat there innocently waiting to go on the long swim.

And genuinely, why do you think you'll be a laughing stock? You're in a relationship, you're housed, you're employed, you're within a perfectly normal age range for a baby. My sister has a 14 year age gap between her 2nd and 3rd. Everyone coped. Everyone loves each other. Ignore your mother

Congratulations xx

Congrats on all your achievements, I’m 42 and my other kids are late teens. Do what feels rights and ignore your mother. I’m 14 weeks and haven’t told anyone yet as I’m “protecting my peace” it’s your life and nobody’s business

So my partner has spent the weekend with his mom and he’s now very pushy for surgical abortion- I haven’t heard from my mum as I’ve blocked all contact channels—- I feel like I’ve let everyone down and very alone, I’m sure my scan will cheer me up. I also have been told I’m very selfish and I’m not putting my kids first! Hard few days is! SA is not an option for me. He’s a chauvinistic knob.

@Sadblonde Exactly. If he definitely doesn't want any more chidlren then why not have a vasectomy? Assuming he knew he was having unprotected sex with you so equally his responsibility if you get pregnant!!

Its not really anything to do with your mum, she sounds like she is just projecting because shes angry.
It may not be the ideal circumstance with your partner based on previous history but as long as he is on board and you both want this then its entirely uo to you both.
As for your career, you can still complete your course and register as an RVN. As long as you keep up with CPD while on mat leave you stay on the register. Just thibk about options for when you woukd want to return to work as part time hours arent always easy to find.