Confirmed Down syndrome - what to do?

[impossibledecision25]

I am 43 and this is my first pregnancy. We went though IVF to get to this point. We had several early scans that all looked fine at 6,8 and 10 weeks. However, we got to our 12 week scan and the nuchal fluid measurement was 6.5mm. Our initial screening came back as 1 in 2 for each trisomy. We then had the CVS test which confirmed our baby has Down syndrome.
My partner and I now feel like we have the most difficult decision to make. We want to be fully informed and so are doing a lot of reading. There are a lot of positive stories online but I guess the reality is we don’t know how what the full impact will be for our baby and what additional needs and co-morbidities they might have. We’re also thinking about what happens when we’re not here, especially as we will be older parents. And will be both still be able to work. But the thought of ending a much wanted pregnancy and a life feels so hard.
i guess I’m wondering if anyone has been in a similar position and has any advice?

To be honest I think many women who have the test don’t really think about the potential outcomes before they have it. I definitely didn’t with my first baby, my midwife just sort of asked if I was to have the screening in a very blasé way, when I asked more about it she said most women did the test so I did as well.

I was an older Mum and, although we didn’t know it at the time, I was only able to have one child. We chose not to do any of the Downs tests as although we wouldn’t have chosen a Downs child, we would love the baby just the same. We were fortunate as our child did not have Downs.

the risk of Downs increases with your age so this may be your only shot.

Good luck OP, this will not be an easy decision x

@SilverpetalShine
There are many things for their families to manage and meet head on and not everyone is up to that but doesn't mean that eugenics should be at play.

Thats very controversial to use the term “eugenics”. Some people would find that inflammatory and upsetting. Would you actually consider that the OP would be carrying out a modern day form of eugenics if she chose to have an abortion?

The OP has posted on the ‘Pregnancy’ board and has asked for support. I don’t think it’s the place to be throwing around terms like ‘eugenics’

Firstly, I am not the first to use it here. I was not referring to the OP at all but rather to the modern (last thirty years) concept of using testing to identify birth defects which it is sometimes assumed the mother will use the results of which to abort that child. I have discussed the wider issue with OP and if you look at my posts you'll see I express a rounded view. I would never insult a newly pregnant mum and have wished her a good deal of support. It is every woman's choice to make and I would not judge them for making it. I was referring to the medical assumption that testing means abortions rather than helping to prepare. It's the bald abstract I suppose and a wide ethical supposition but it doesn't mean it's right, I prefer to say it informs each woman's choice but the choice is hers. Thanks for bringing it to my attention, I hope I've clarified my point.

I hope you’re doing ok, @impossibledecision25 .

@SilverpetalShine Thank you for replying, However, I still believe using a word like 'eugenics' in a thread where someone is seeking support for a pregnancy decision is inappropriate, regardless of the intention. It's a very upsetting and inflammatory term for someone in that position. Even if you used it in relation to the medical community it comes across as direct moral judgment towards anyone considering an abortion due to genetic testing.

I respect your opinion, completely.

I hope you’re ok too, OP.
Thinking of you x