How to tell boss you’re pregnant?

[Amby99]

I just need to man up and say it! It’s ridiculous, I’m going to have a baby and I’m nervous to tell my boss!

Ideally I wanted to wait until my 12 week scan but I’m feeling horrifically sick a lot of the time. I I’m 9 and a half atm. Last week I told them I had a stomach bug and was wfh for 3 days instead of the usual 2. It’s quite a gossipy work place but my boss I do trust and I’m sure she’ll be super happy for mec I’m just worried it it’ll be awkward if I tell her etc etc.

we’re lucky in that we get to hybrid work and usually I wfh 2 days a week but since this nausea got really bad the thought of a 3 day week is just exhausting. I have an hour commute including tube and overground.

I’m not saying I want to wfh 3 days for the entire pregnancy just because I’m pregnant - it’s just until the sickness dies down. In fact, I might not even need to. I just want reassurance from my boss that if I need to- I can wfh. I don’t want to keep pretending to be contagiously sick because it’s wrong and I hate lying. Especially with it being august and it’s super quiet in the office anyway so I thought it worth telling her.

Its not something I need to do in writing - she’s super casual and I’ll put it in writing to her superiors nearer the time but I’m worried when I ask to speak to her in one of the glass office doors she’s going to initially think I’ve got bad news or a complaint!

CN you just ask her for a quick call when she has 5 minutes and let her know then. Tell her you don’t want it to be common knowledge until you’ve had your 12 week scan, or whenever you’re happy for people to find out. Congratulations. I hope the sickness passes soon!

I’d do the exact same. I’d reach out to my line manager to say that I’m going through horrendous sickness with my pregnancy and ask if they could be a bit flexible with me wfh for the time being. I’d be very clear that it’s early days and I do not want anyone else to know about my pregnancy at this point.

Same as above. Quick call and you can even mention you don’t want to have to lie about the sickness!

Previous posters are right. There’s no award at the end for most days spent vomiting at work.

Tell your line manager you are pregnant and it’s a secret for now. Let her know what accommodations you need in order to keep working (3 day wfh). It’s a small ask really.

I had to do this, I actually think it's really important because those first 12 weeks can be so brutal and i remember once just telling a quite random colleague because we were a 2 person interview panel and i left 2 interviews mid way through to vomit despite being just 6 weeks, he was lovely about it and told nobody. Just ring her or corner her and grab a meeting room, and quietly say you're going to need some adjustments because you're 9 weeks, and you're not telling anyone else till 12 weeks but you really wanted her to know because you're not your usual self due to the nausea and exhaustion, and is it OK if you do more wfh and she doesn't tell the rest of the workplace that your pregnant. She will be super supportive, and it might be nice to have someone to share with! Congratulations

My boss said to me how did you manage that 😂 I was married and young and not explaining the birds and the bees 😂😂😂

I have always told my manager very early on, we have had 5 losses in a row (3 are since I had this manager) and it made it easier to then negotiate around being sick and also many appointments (due to early scans etc for previous losses.

He knew to keep it quiet until I was ready to tell people. And even when they didn't stick or surgery was needed he supported me in wether I chose to tell the team why I was off or not. (I have a very good team and chose to tell every time as I felt it's important loss is not a taboo subject).

I am currently pregnant again (30 weeks so hopefully we make it to the end this time round). I am glad I told him again early on as his support was great when we had early scares (bleeds, bad 12 week scan needing more tests etc).

Only you know if telling her is right but you absolutely do not need to wait until some specific date such as 12 weeks just because society tells you too.

Its also important to make your employer aware asap as they have to do a risk assessment. This includes what they can do to help you and any adaptions they need to put in place (wfh). You are also legally covered for sick absences during pregnancy (in terms of attendance warnings) so you need to be honest about why you are off ill to cover yourself

Hope all goes well, rooting for you.

I second what has already been said. I started a job pregnant once then was only back 6 months when I was pregnant again, all 3 times I’ve had to tell them I’ve experienced bosses being lovely. People are really nice to you when you are pregnant in my experience. Congratulations!

‘If you haven’t already guessed’ can be a good lead in.

If they’ve got kids they may well have their suspicions.

I told my manager by email. Dropped her a quick email saying I wanted to let her know I was pregnant and can we have a quick chat. She agreed not to tell anyone for a while but I did tell HR as well so I could have time off sick and be protected by the pregnancy illness. I still haven't told the big boss.. assume someone else will (I hope).

I didn't tell my boss or colleagues until I was 20 weeks as I was so nervous (I was relatively new in post). I thought I'd better say something when someone announced they werre expecting a baby 2 months after me! My boss was totally great about it and I regret not saying something sooner.

I told my boss at 5 weeks — he was the first to know after my husband! I was feeling horrendous and was worried about potential impacts on my work. He was brilliant — kept it a complete secret until I told the wider team at 16 weeks, and put accommodations in place to make my life easier (extra WFH, etc), plus just generally quietly checking in on how I was doing.

Thanks so much for all of your replies! I will just quickly catch her at a quiet moment - I’ve no doubt she’ll be understanding (although she is going on holiday next week) so not sure if that’s in my favour or not!

I would tell as soon as possible so you're protected. If things don't go well at 12 week scan you'll need time off too.

Thanks all I told her although I’m very worried she’ll tell other colleagues that I don’t particularly want knowing yet but she promises she won’t so I have to take it for face value!

If she does you can raise this to HR as it's complete it allowed!