I'm pregnant

[Newnamenewname123]

I've just found out I'm pregnant. I have 2 children from a previous relationship who are now 8+5. They were very much wanted and planned for after several miscarriages. That relationship ended 2 years ago and we co parent well.
My current partner and I are not in a good place, I've actually been preparing to leave the relationship and have now found this out.
Whilst I am pro choice, I'm not comfortable having a termination myself - I work in gynecology and my feelings on terminations (personally) have changed since I've worked in my current role.
I really don't know what the hell to do.
On the one hand I know in my heart this relationship isn't right for me, I am just feeling more in control of things financially for my two kids, have a bit more room to breathe now they're both in school etc. I love my job (work long shifts), and realistically I'd likely be raising this child on my own - I'm not sure I'd even want partner on the birth certificate.
It would be a total struggle, I really don't see how I'd manage.
On the other hand I just don't feel having a termination is right. I fully take responsibility for becoming pregnant, I have been lazy with contraception, and I don't agree with using abortions as birth control (for me anyway).
But is it just ridiculous to even consider continuing with the pregnant?
Christ on a bike, I have no idea what to do. The longer the pregnant goes on the worse that will be for me too, but I also don't know how to even consider making a decision.
It likely would be unfair to bring a child into this, bit I also don't think it's fair to end a pregnant purely based on that. I have got myself into this and I need to take responsibility for that?
Please help!

Many spelling errors (I have barely slept and am rushing typing)

End the relationship and say nothing for now.

If you're pro choice I don't think that "needing to take responsibility" is a good reason for denying yourself that choice. Think about what would be best for you and for your existing kids and for the baby, but leave aside your feelings of blaming yourself about contraception- that's done now. Would counselling help?

Put it a different way. Not about you needing to take responsibility but about what is the best option for your existing children. Knowing that a termination is not right for you Vs knowing that another child may not be right for your children. I think you are being very responsible actually and perhaps putting too much pressure on yourself about it. Do the best thing for you and your kids, no one else. You absolutely can do this if you want to buy don't feel you have to.

You need to deal with the two issues separately. Firstly, you say you were preparing to end your current relationship. So, regardless of the pregnancy, you should do so. Then you need to decide whether or not to continue with the pregnancy and whether having another baby would be right for you and your DC. I know where you are coming from. I am completely pro-choice but know that I would never have had an abortion. But then, I never had to make that decision.

You will need to accept that having a baby with this man means he will be in your life for the next 18 years minimum. Him not being on the birth certificate means nothing, he can order a paternity test and a court will give him PR and he will be entitled to contact starting at 50/50. I’m not saying what decision is right to do but you have to be aware that you don’t have the choice to end the relationship and do this all alone, he has a right to be involved. Absolutely do not stay with this man you are unhappy with for the sake of the unborn baby, a baby raised in an unhappy home is worse than a single parent home.