Planned C Section on Wednesday 6th August - Scared!

[Pregnantandlookingforadvice]

Evening All,

I have a planned c section booked in for Wednesday and I’m so scared, nervous but also excited.

My pregnancy didn’t go as planned and my ex of nearly 5 years kicked me out at 6 months pregnant and there’s no coming back from that.

Im really just posting to see if anyone has had a c section with only your mum as your birthing partner? She’s been absolutely amazing given everything but I feel slightly embarrassed or judged. My midwife told me not to worry but I can’t help it. It’s making me stress out and everyone pictures the happy family something my ex couldn’t give us.

I had an emergency C-section, and once I found out it was happening, everything went so fast. He was here before I knew it! It’s honestly such an amazing experience. I did have my partner there, which helped, but to be honest, some of the guys who were on the ward with other women were just useless. I’d have rather been on my own than deal with that.

You’ve said your mum’s been brilliant, I reckon she’ll be way more supportive than your ex. If she can’t be there the whole time, maybe ask one of your close friends to pop in and visit while you’re recovering. It’s nice to have someone around who actually helps.

Most of the time you’re just figuring things out anyway, so I really don’t think you’ll be stressing about your ex not being there. You’ll be too busy getting to know your baby and adjusting to everything.

And don’t be afraid to ask the midwives for help. They’re there for you. I wish I’d spoken up more. I wanted to move rooms because some of the women and their boyfriends were just watching loud TikToks, and one woman even slept through her baby crying. I didn’t feel confident enough to say anything at the time, but looking back I wish I had. Good luck you will be amazing, oh and order some compression socks the hospital only gave one pair out and you are meant to wear them for ages!

Thank you, your comment has meant a lot to me.

I don’t think I’ll be judged by the midwives but it’s becoming a mum all on your own really with no help other than my own mum and it shouldn’t have been this way. It’s definitely not worked out as planned but I can’t stay in that mind frame.

The hospital I’m going to doesn’t allow birthing partners to stay overnight so either way I’ll be on my own at some point. I hope the midwives are lovely and helpful, I can’t even imagine my emotions now that’s it’s less than 2 days away x

If I am being 100% honest I think your mum being your birthing partner would be more help than your baby daddy would be anyway. I wouldn't stress about it at all. You can never replace a mum and you will love having her there with you
It all happens so quickly, everyone in the theatre room is super nice and in the wards too. Yes you will be alone at some point, I was alone with both of mine but the midwives are there to help you. Don't feel ashamed to ask for help even if it's to feed baby whilst you have a nap. Don't forget you will have had major surgery and then to be expected to be and about and looking after a newborn is something insane but I promise you one thing, you can do it.

It will be lovely having your Mum there with you and what a lovely memory for her too. Once you’re there and it’s happening, you won’t care what others are thinking. The hospital staff definitely won’t be thinking anything negative about your situation. I had an emergency c section 3 years ago and my little girl was born on 06/08 so wishing you all the luck in the world!

Nobody will be judging you OP, try not to worry about that.

I had CS and it all went much better than I had anticipated, including the recovery. Best of luck for Wed. How exciting!

Aww how lovely, hoping your little girl has a great birthday!

True - he probably would have put me on edge but he’s barely even helped so why should he be in that moment with me. It’s just not how I pictured things turning out but you are right I will love having my mum there on Wednesday x

Thank you x

They do c sections all day every day. I’ve had weirder trips to the dentist to be honest. Baby is out pretty quickly and you will be so excited to meet them. And although you need to take care for a while it’s actually really nice not to be pregnant!

Thanks, that made me laugh!

Think of how many people in relationships split up, it's so common, I'm sure the midwives won't blink. You're starting this exciting journey with your eyes open and your mum's support, you'll be great. Buy some big pants, join baby groups of you can to meet people, enjoy your new baby!!

Good luck OP! I had an elective in 2023. Nothing weird about having your mum with you, not everyone in the recovery room was there with babies dad. A couple woman also had their mums x

That’s made me feel better, thanks x

My elective was such a lovely experience I am booking another one in with my 2nd x

Thank you, I hadn’t even realised how common it is to split up during pregnancy. Never ever pictured it then again I never thought my ex of nearly 5 years would kick me out 6 months pregnant with no notice and no conversation (seperate post about all of that). I can do this though, especially for my little boy x

Hi @Pregnantandlookingforadvice- I can’t offer any advice, but just wanted to say I’m also booked in for a c-section on Weds and am nervous too! I’ve just come back from an appointment on the labour ward for a blood test and it all suddenly felt very real!

I’m sorry things haven’t turned out as you’d pictured them, but it will be a lovely moment for you and your mum. I gave birth in covid and so couldn’t have anyone except my husband there, and this time I’m having a c-section, so obviously just the one birth partner. I think my mum’s a bit gutted she can’t be with us again (to be honest she’d also probably be a much more calming influence than my husband too!)

I can guarantee the midwives won’t give it a second thought though - they’ll just be focusing on you and your baby. Good luck for Wednesday 🥰

Thank you and good luck as well x

Hey lovely, just checking in, how are you doing? The first few weeks are so difficult so just dropping a message to say I’m thinking of you xxx

Thank you, I’m doing ok and still in hospital due to the pain but hoping to leave today.

I underestimated how much I’d need the midwives and my mum around just to pick up and put down my little boy whilst I recover. I’m so glad I made the right choice to have my mum as my birthday partner not my ex / son’s father x

You will be getting better each day just take it easy x and congratulations!!